The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, December 06, 2008

the cloak

mid the grey desolation
of a rainswept dublin street
colour tore my vision
from dreariness and fret
a cloak of ebon silk
lay crumpled in the mud
meshed with silver hues
and ochre tainted gold
a spiders web of threads
sent blood among the sheen
woven so by fingers
with a knowledge that is gone
and knowing came upon me
in a drum roll of heart beats
the lost cloak of poetry
the mantle of john keats
and hunger came upon me
i snatched at it in greed
but it fluttered and it melted
into concrete into clay

Friday, December 05, 2008

al qaeda rolls the dice

As part of our information programme for the debilitatingly traitorous anti American broadcasters of CNN and Skybollah...
Here is the news.
Al Qaeda is attempting to precipitate war between India and Pakistan.
Al Qaeda is doing this because at the moment Al Qaeda has a grand total of nought secure bases from which to operate.
The reason Al Qaeda has nought secure bases from which to operate is because President George Bush and the American army have denied them any safe base from which to operate.
Afghanistan is now a democracy and at war with Al Qaeda.
Iraq is now a democracy and at war with Al Qaeda.
Syria is no longer safe because General Petraeus will bomb any Al Qaeda safe house of which he is aware in Syria.
Pakistan is no longer safe because General Petraeus will bomb any Al Qaeda safe houses of which he is aware in Pakistan.
Even Iran is no longer an absolutely secure safe haven for Al Qaeda because the Israelis are about to flatten it.
Jihad has become a whole lot less fun for Al Qaeda.
Hence Al Qaeda has attacked Mumbai.
Hence this week Al Qaeda and Taliban leaders assured the Pakistan government that Al Qaeda and the Taliban would defend Pakistan against India.
The Islamist toe rag opposition leader in Pakistan, Mr Nahwaz Sharif has welcomed the offer from his friends in Al Qaeda and the Taliban.
Mr Nahwaz Sharif has said: "Now we are all Pakistani's."
Yeah Nahwaz, but about a hundred and forty million Pakistani's are Pakistanis who live in hope that their country will become a pro American democracy and that the likes of you, Al Qaeda and the Taliban will be expunged from the life of humanity in general and Pakistan in particular.
No really.
That's why your Al Qaeda and Taliban friends have to murder so many of your fellow Pakistani's just to get through the week.
Thanks but no thanks Nahwaz.
Al Qaeda has once more rolled the dice with the latest attacks on Mumbai.
As always when Al Qaeda plays games, people get slaughtered in the streets.
Al Qaeda is hoping the new American leader, President Stylish, will play into their hands with appeasement.
But Al Qaeda can't afford to wait for President Stylish to take the pressure off them.
Because General Petraeus is slowly but surely attriting Al Qaeda to oblivion.
Al Qaeda needs war with India now.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

A BIT IRISH (by Medbh Gillard)

A moment of light relief as Mr James Healy, watched by admiring groupies, (aka Miss Philomena Breslin and Miss Siobhan Patterson) suits up for the role of WB Yeats in final rehearsals yesterday for the forthcoming production of Poets In Paradise at Kilcullen theatre.
The play will be performed at the theatre this Friday and Saturday 5th and 6th December, at 8pm nightly.
Tickets €10 per head.
Those without a head get in free.
Half price concession seats available for senior citizens, the unwaged, students, the cops, the mob, the broads, the Jihadis's, the aliens, UN spooks, members of management at the Johnston Press, Barack Obama voters, and Officer Savanelli of the Massachussetts State Police who is paid by the US government to be rude to Irish visitors arriving at Boston airport.
Proof of identity may be required for those seeking half price tickets, with the exception of Savanelli who'll just be taken outside and given a good root in the bawls for himself.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

caffe latte con sublime insights

Quaffing lattes with Doctor Barn in the Costa cafe.
"Hey," quoth the brother. "I heard George Bush making a speech this morning admitting he was wrong about tons of things. Does that mean that you're now going to admit to having been wrong about him?"
I eyed a circling Polish waitress keenly.
She passed by in gentle flight.
"This is what I'll admit," I told Daktari. "I'll admit I think President Bush is a great President. He's human though. And he wants to be liked. This desire to be liked might be a weakness. Personally I think we can forgive him for it. I've heard him apologise before for using strong language. I would always have advised him against apologising. Because the right sort of people don't want an apology. And the wrong sort of people will misuse one. His main ally in the War On Terror was Prime Minister Tony Blair and Blair never liked the more bellicose statements. So President Bush toned down the rhetoric initially for that reason. I would have told him to keep it up. You don't ask the Nazis for permission to go to war against them with all guns blazing. You don't ask Churchill to tone down his Fight Them On The Beaches speech. I'm saying that from the start our own media groups were trying to break the will of America and Britain and the Free World. They are the ones who should be apologising. It was insane to criticise President Bush for laying down the gauntlet to Muslim terrorists. Insane. I'll tell you more of what I admit. On the eve of the liberation of Iraq, I was asked by a group of school teachers at the Community College in the town of Athy whether I thought the Americans would find weapons of mass destruction or not. I said I didn't care. I said that all I cared about was that Saddam Hussein and his government of murderers were about to be destroyed. I have not changed my opinion. I think the Americans have behaved heroically in both Iraq and Afghanistan. But the world has failed to back them. We're all going to pay for that. Muslim terror could have been defeated if we'd all stood against it. It could have been blasted back into the sand traps which gave birth to it. Iran and Syria could have been placed under international interdict for their sponsorship of Al Qaeda. Iran could have been repudiated for its ambitions to start nuclear war. Syria could have been held accountable for its assassination of Lebanon's Prime Minister. Both could have been democratised. Al Qaeda could have been wiped out in the caves of Pakistan. The momentum was there after the Americans freed Iraq and Afghanistan. Not to be. The world wanted to go back to business as usual. In Britain the Conservative Party failed to back their Socialist rival Mr Blair, seeking instead short term political advantage from the situation in Iraq. Ironically enough Mr Blair was finally ousted by a Man Who Would Be King from within his own party. But not before the same Mr Blair had confounded every opinion poll by winning three elections in a row. The will was there among ordinary people to win this thing. We have been failed by our media groups, by our pseudo intellectual elites, and by our political classes. Do you think Al Qaeda didn't notice that the American Democratic Party was willing to criminalise Mr Bush? Do you think they haven't been revitalised by that fact? There are 4000 Al Qaeda members wandering around Britain today being tailed by British Intelligence. Being tailed. Not interned. Not executed. Not even arrested. Being tailed. The biggest threat to the life of a Jihadi in Britain is that he'll die laughing. The same applies to Al Qaeda Jihadi networks in Ireland, Canada, America, Western Europe and Australia. The irony is screaming. In World War Two enemy nationals were rounded up for the duration. Today the Jihadi's are collecting their Unemployment Benefit and then meeting for coffee in the nice comfy Starbucks at Piccadilly Circus to plan the next big explosions. We're not going to defeat Muslim terrorists with political correctness. Remember I said this to you. Remember it when the Jihadi's lay waste a few more western cities they way they have Mumbai. Remember it when CNN and NBC, and the Guardian and Skybollah and all the other quislings are whining in unison about how unexpected and inexplicable the next Muslim terrorist atrocity is."

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

times sky

Monday, December 01, 2008

television detectives and the end of childhood innocence

in calm contentment we could review
shoot outs bank robberies all the rest
secure in the knowledge that the hero would come through
that rationo legalism is the best

then one day in the late 70's
kojak was shooting at some thugs
i was relaxed in all my certainties
until kojak went over like a sack of spuds

and here's the rub he did survive
to keep the streets of new york free of human vermin
my sensibilities died that night
i could never put my faith in pop culture again

Sunday, November 30, 2008

And Now This (by Irina Kuksova)

President Elect Obama drops in on an old friend.