The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, February 11, 2011

there's something about hosni

Sky News have been attempting to promulgate the notion that all dictators are bad.
Except of course for the dictator who finances Sky News.
Sky's revenue stream at the moment comes almost solely from advertisements placed by the dictatorial king for life of Qatar, His Highness Sheikh Snotbosca.
Apparently he's the only dictator in the Middle East who shouldn't be immediately overthrown.
The Sheikh's patronage of Sky News is concealed behind adverts for an airline called Qatar Air which nobody flies on because its pilots, ground crew, air hostesses and occasional actual passengers are Mussies.
I mean, I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.
But would you fly Qatar Air?
"This is the 9am commuter flight to Paris. I am your Captain, Ahmed bin Mohammed Al Mohammed Bin Shite. Fasten your seatbelts please. Next stop the Pentagon."
But I digress.
While financing itself through the despotic Islamist royal family of Qatar (who also directly finance Al Jazeera the Nazi channel) Sky has been heaping scorn on the record of President Hosni Mubarrak of Egypt.
A few days ago Sky News twit-in-residence Dominic Waghorn sneered the following at former British Prime Minister Tony Blair: "Maybe you're loathe to force Mubarrak to step down because of your experiences in Iraq."
So Dominic Waghorn thinks President Hosni Mubarrak of Eqypt is the same as President Saddam Hussein of Iraq.
This is a very illustrative point when it comes to assessing Sky News and its grip on reality.
Saddam Hussein ruled Iraq for more than three decades.
During that time Saddam Hussein: Placed Iraq under the control of Soviet Russia; Repeatedly sponsored terrorist aggression against Israel by offering 25,000 to every suicide bomber to self detonate in that country; Direcdtly sponsored Islamist terror movements Hamas, Hezbollah, and Al Qaeda; Made war with Iran causing the deaths of at least a million people; Invaded Kuwait causing hundreds of thousands of deaths; Torched the oil fields of Kuwait; Threatened to invade Saudi Arabia and torch its oil fields; Allowed his own people to starve rather than end his chemical, biological and atomic weapons programmes.
During the same period when Saddam Hussein was using Iraq to threaten the world, His Excellency Hosni Mubarrak was President of Egypt.
How did he behave?
The same if you believe Dominic Waghorn and Sky News.
But no.
Here is the news.
In thirty years running Egypt, President Hosni Mubarrak: Made war with no one; Invaded no one; Sponsored no terrorist movement; Kept the peace with Isreael; Provided stable government to the Arab world's largest most turbulent country with a population of 80 million people; Managed to grow the Egyptian middle class; Steadily explanded Egypt's overall prosperity so that Egypt is still the only Arab country with any sort of standard of living for ordinary people: Ran Egypt in such a way that it is still the only Arab country with anything we might mistake for a culture on a dark night. Ran Egypt in such a way so that inherent instabilities notwithstanding, it is still the only Arab country with a vestige of personal liberty and citizens rights. Ran Egypt in such a way that it is positively the only Arab country which makes any serious attempt to accord civil and human rights to the followers of religions other than Islam; Kept Egypt from swinging under the rulership of Al Qaeda who have been waiting in the wings in the guise of the Muslim Brotherhood to steal the country for decades either through elections or any which way they can.
At no time has Sky News and its coterie of groovy cretins, to wit (Witless surely? - Ed note) Dominic Waghorn, Stuart Ramsey, Tim Marshall and the other one, at no time I say, have these conformist atheist tacitly Islamist idiots made it clear that Egypt is the only country in the Middle East where Sky and CNN and all the other liberal leftwing bankrupt viewerless media galoots (Groups surely? - Ed note)would be permitted to film democracy protestors in the first place.
The real dictators, such as Iran, Syria or Qatar, wouldn't even let Sky News in the door.
Interestingly enough, both Iran and Syria have brutally extirpated widespread democracy protests on the streets of their capitals in the past twelve months without anything approaching this level of faux humanitarian outrage from the hand wringers at Sky News.
Both Iran and Syria habitually repudiate any public call or aspiration among their respective peoples for democracy and do so by imprisoning, raping and murdering the protestors.
Both Iran and Syria are run by psychoticised delusional dictators who do what it says on the tin.
That is to say, they kill their own citizens as a matter of course while sponsoring terror throughout the region, seeking to lay waste the State of Israel, and threatening to plunge all of humanity into a new dark ages.
These dictators seem to escape the pious ministrations of Sky News almost completely.
Unlike President Hosni Mubarrak of Egypt... who is an honorable man.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

confucivs he say

Be alert. The country needs lerts.

today they said

David Cameron (Prime Minister of Great Britain): "The Muslim community must stand up and show its opposition to terror Those coming to live here from overseas must show they are willing to integrate with British society."

James Healy (Prime Minister of The Heelers Diaries): "Multiculturalism hasn't failed, Dave. You have failed. You have failed the most basic test of will when it comes to confronting Muslim terror. Your government has just reduced the already paltry amount of time British police can hold without charge Muslims suspected of planning Jihad mass murder against the citizens of Great Britain and elsewhere. Your statements today are just empty showboating. You want to pose as the tough talking hard man staring down the Islamist fifth column in our midst. But it's all talk, isn't it Dave? You couldn't even bring yourself to support former Prime Minister Tony Blair when he sought to extend detention times for Jihad suspects. And when Prime Minister Tony Blair was in power you couldn't resist undermining the liberation of Iraq from Saddam Hussein's murderocracy simply because you were the poor little rich boy who wanted the top job. Britain is very poorly served by your presence. You are a managerial socialist posing as a Conservative. And the Jihadi's will gobble you up. The greater tragedy for the rest of the world is that they just might gobble up your country as well."

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

scrotie mcboogerballs inherits a newspaper

The Leinster Leader drifts forlorn and rudderless (And readerless - Ed note) through stagnant seas.
My spies in the Leinster Leader have informed me this week that the near defunct newspaper is once more without an editor.
How many editors have they gone through since they fired me at Christmas three years ago?
Is it four or five?
Who's counting?
Poisoned chalice, anyone?
My spies tell me that pressure is running at fever pitch among management types at the Leinster Leader with undignified tantrums being daily directed by these incompetent suit wearers towards the few remaining advertising sales staff.
(NB: By calling them incompetent suit wearers, I don't wish to imply that they are unable to wear suits. I wish to imply that wearing a suit is the limits of their competency. - Heelers note.)
The sales staff are sipping from a poisoned chalice of their own.
They are being asked to do the impossible.
Make profits for a newspaper that is now despised by the community it purports to serve.
The Leinster Leader has been purchased by an idiot British company called the Johnston Press for 138 million quid, money the Johnston Press borrowed from idiot banks.
A hundred and thirty eight million quid for a newspaper that was generating, if you believed our falsified accounts, around a million a year.
The Johnston Press, having paid such a ridiculous sum with money they didn't have, ie borrrowed money from idiot banks, were left with two choices to make back their investment.
(The lenders were indeed the same idiot banks that the Irish and British people were compelled by their governments to bail out in order to cover massive losses arising from their idiot lending policies to companies like the Johnston Press. - Rod note.)
How could the Johnston Press have ever made a profit from their 138 million dollar investment in a company that earned 1 million dollars a year?
They could either wait 138 years.
Or they could try firing people and hiring cheaper ones.
They took the atheistic option.
Now the wheels are finally coming off the wagon.
Another editor gone.
Bounding into the night like a startled fawn up the mountain path.
On a daily basis the beleagured advertising staff are being shouted at by besuited clowns for failing to make the impossible revenue returns which the clowns believe would transform the Johnston Press's well nigh cretinous investment into a profitable one.
The general public are walking away from the Leinster Leader because the Johnston Press fired me. (And because they fired Ron Baines the printer whom they gave an hours notice to that he was finished after fifty years on the staff. And because they fired the entire former advertising department. And because. And because. And, and, and. And so on. - And note.)
It's all very sad.
But tell me.
Tell me bold readers.
Is it possible...
Is it just barely possible...
Is it the teensiest weensiest bit possible... that the wrong people were getting fired?

meditation on piers morgan

Maybe the Muslims are the master race.
After all, you don't find them ratting each other out for a percentage.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011


people like years in the city street
throng in the rain it falls like centuries
the fall of man is never so complete
the fall of night never such a certainty
clocks are striking somewhere down the quays

as i am struck my fortieth hour done
takes wing like a soul circles and is gone
alone amid the crowd i hear the rain
drum the outright tragedy of man
birth is death divided by a span

Sunday, February 06, 2011


Gary Moore... Musician... The real deal... Best song: Out In The Fields.