The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, November 19, 2011

the wakening silence

a woman sleeping
i watch her face
i've looked in half the world
and have not found such peace
as in it now
faint smile or sorrow
lights upon her lips
from the corner of her brow
a momentary flutter lifts
the wandering shadows
from her wakening eyes
a traveller returns
briefly we recognise
in the silence of our dawn
another silver universe being born

Friday, November 18, 2011

the wages of child killing

Child killer Wayne O'Donoghue has received a settlement from two newspapers whom he accused of defaming him.
It looks like child killer Wayne O'Donoghue will die a rich man.
Profitable business this killing children.
The amounts paid to him in the latest settlements have not been disclosed.
We don't know how much the newspapers are paying him for the crime of defamation they are considered by Wayne O'Donoghue  to have committed against him in trying to let the public know what he'd done.
You all know where I stand on this.
I do not consider it possible to defame anyone who has murdered a child.
I want the newspapers of the Republic of Ireland to be free to say whatever they like about any such person.
The real and present danger in the Republic of Ireland bold readers is not that devil woshipping child murderers will be defamed, libelled or slandered, by our oh so cruel and insensitive newspapers, but that devil worshipping child murderers will be facilitated in retaining their liberty without public knowledge of what they've done, by fellow devil worshippers among the upper echelons in the judiciary, parliament, and police force of our society.
Childkiller Wayne O'Donoghue's obscene and egregiously unwarranted legal cases for defamation against the newspapers were pursued for him by a certain legal eagle lawyer about town called Frank Buttimer.
No doubt Frank Buttimer also made a killing (financial) in the present case through the limitless sums of cash his client child killer Wayne O'Donoghue will have lavished on him courtesy of the blank checques provided for child killer Wayne O'Donoghue from Ireland's corrupt Free Legal Aid system, ie courtesy of the tax payer but without the tax payer's consent.
We all financed child killer Wayne O'Donoghue's frivolously invidious and ultimately successful attempts to silence the press.
He sued a total of six media groups by the way.
The two that settled yesterday were the last on his list.
I wonder will he kill again.
We'll find out eventually I suppose.
Maybe he'll top another child if he spends all the money Frank Buttimer has vilely, crassly and disgracefully obtained for him through manipulation of the laws on defamation.
Whatever happens one thing is certain.
 Wayne O'Donoghue and Frank Buttimer just keep getting richer and richer.
And the family of the child Wayne O'Donoghue killed just keep getting less and less justice.
Ah yes.
The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.
The ridiculous charge of defamation which the newspapers unfortunately admitted to by settling with child killer Wayne O'Donoghue was of the following order.
That is to say it took place within the framework of the following incontestable facts.
Wayne O'Donoghue killed Robert Hollohan.
Robert's mother Majella in her original victim impact statement to the court, pointed out that several important and disturbing facts had been inexplicably kept out of the court proceedings.
Among the facts she outlined was the presence of sperm on her dead child's body.
Wayne O'Donoghue, who killed her child, then sued the newspapers for defamation through Mr Frank Buttimer, alleging that he was defamed by any newspaper reports of what Majella Holohan had said, which could be deemed to have suggested that the sperm on the child Wayne O'Donoghue admitting killing had come from child killer Wayne O'Donoghue.
You couldn't make it up.
Let's be clear.
The media groups did not defame child killer Wayne O'Donoghue.
Wayne O'Donoghue in killing a child is the only one who may be said to have defamed child killer Wayne O'Donoghue.
Everything else is frivolous legalism of a most debased and debasing kind.
Perhaps child killer Wayne O'Donoghue should now sue himself.
I'm sure a principled fellow like Frank Buttimer would take the case.
And Judge Liberal who gave him a scant few years in jail for his original child killing, oh Judge Liberal would surely hear the new action.
And we would all, all I say, all would be privileged to pay for it.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

upper echelons

The Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny is sitting behind his desk.
He is a vascillatory vacant vomitous vacuous vapid hairstyle of a man.
The Prime Minister is examining his latest hair do with mirrors held in both hands.
His hair shimmers and shines like a field of ripe dyed corn.
The door bursts open.
His Minister for Education Ruairi Quinn of the Labour Party enters out of breath.
Ruairi Quinn is a different class of hairstyle to his boss.
He styles his hair and beard deliberately to make himself look like Lenin.
If a teenager did it, you'd be worried.
Incidentally Ruairi Quinn has a brother called Lochlainn who sits on the board of Ireland's notoriously corrupt bankrupt financial institution Allied Irish Bank, the same bank which Prime Minister Enda Kenny has just recently purchased on behalf of the nation for the bargain basement price of ten thousand million dollars.
Where can you get something worth nothing and known to be worth nothing, and still compel the Irish people to pay ten billion dollar for it?
Answer: Ireland.
"Prime Minister, Prime Minister," Ruairi Quinn gasps, "the people are revolting."
Enda Kenny continues contemplating his follicules.
"So tell me something I don't know," he intones drily.
"No Prime Minister. I mean the people are in a state of revolution."
"Oh really?" Enda Kenny's rictus grin holds no kindness. "Upset about me closing the Irish embassy to the Vatican are they? The puny fools. Oderint dum metuant. What do I care if they hate, so long as they fear? And they will soon learn to fear, my Ruairi. They will learn to fear me. And my hairstyle. I am the State. I, Darth Hair Do. Apres moi, le deluge."
Ruairi Quinn struggles to verbalise some deep emotion.
"We're in trouble Prime Minister," he stammers. "It has been a night of strange omens and dark portents. Last night the Minister for Finance's BMW didst turn on your Porsche and eat it. And President Michael D Higgins didst give birth to a copy of Das Kapital in Jack Wall's office whilest Archbishop Diarmuid Martin didst turn into Tony O'Reilly and weep himself to death. This morning great gouts of cash didst pour forth from ye olde Anglo Irish Bank building and when we went to retrieve the cash it hath turned to dust in our hands. And police officers didst in the street in plain view greet citizens politely without assaulting them. And Eamon Gilmore wast seen having supper with Vladimir Putin and now he can't stop washing his hands and mumbling Out damned spot."
"So what?" challenges Enda Kenny.
"It must all mean something Prime Minister," mutters Ruairi Quinn desperately.
"Who cares?" primps Enda Kenny, examining his finger nails.
"But what if the omens are directed at our irreligion, our atheism, our oppression of the Catholic Church, our introduction of abortion pills to Irish pharmacies, our pornogrification of a generation of born children and our murder of another generation of unborn children? What if it's all coming home to roost? We and the nation we have depraved will burn in hell fire." raved Ruairi Quinn.
"What me worry!" exclaimed Enda Kenny avec grandeur.
"There's more," persisted Ruairi Quinn.
"More what?" demands Enda Kenny without much concern.
"More omens," trembles Ruairi Quinn.
"Such as?" enquires Enda Kenny.
"Such as Pat Kenny of RTE didst announce he'll give back any property he's stolen from anyone over the past forty years while taking a ninety percent pay cut in solidarity with all those experiencing economic hardship."
instantly Enda Kenny crumpled behind his desk, head in hands.
All his aplomb was gone.
"Great Scot," he breathed. "It's the apocalypse."

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

bring me the head of heeler the peeler

It was morning at the Daily Star offices.
Editor Ger Colleran sat behind his desk.
He was a bearded porcine invidious decadent slatternly egg yolk of a man.
Around him cowering minions waited.
Ger Colleran's porcine fist thumped the table.
His voice rose to a veritable scream.
"I want this Heelers... dead. I want his budgies... dead. I want his hamsters... dead. I want his parrot... dead. I want that car he keeps reversing into gate posts... dead. I want his hydrangeas... dead. I  want his orchids... dead. I want his sheepdog... dead. I want his prayer group... dead. I want his play Poets In Paradise which is due to open next Thursday in Kildare... dead. I want those sexy Russian women he meets for coffee... brought to my office at once."

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

smells like teen archie

The Soviet era infiltrator of the Irish Catholic Church, Archbishop Diarmuid Martin has been somewhat quiet of late.
Aside from a stream of fairly vacuous press releases emanating from his palace in Dublin Nine and lovingly reprinted by the anti Catholic press, he's been more or less off the map.
I ask you folks.
If I'm wrong about Archie being a Soviet era infiltrator, why on earth are Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times, and RTE, to wit the most anti Catholic media groups on the planet earth, why on earth I asks ee, are they so in love with him.
This week he attempted to return to centre stage.
First he informed priests that he was cutting their salaries.
Archie claims he's cutting priests' salaries because Catholics have donated less money to the church this year.
I reject this claim.
I counterclaim that Archie is cutting priests' salaries because he needs to find cash to pay the spies he has hired and despatched to every church in the Dublin area.
The spies are supposedly parish workers, but in reality they are Archie's eyes and ears sent to monitor priests going about their daily ministry.
The spies' duties include making sure the Padres aren't defying Archie's instructions by failing to display in their churches the tendentious self incriminating and self abasing notices apologising for child abuse which Archie has mandated.
These parish worker spies, Archie's hirelings, have not been deemed necessary at any other period during the two thousand year history of Catholicism in Ireland.
But they're necessary now.
Cos Archie wants to make sure he can nip any rebellious Padres, ie Padres loyal to the Catholic Church, in the bud.
And that gentle readers is why there is a shortfall in the finances of the Dublin diocese.
Archie's been throwing the money away on his spies.
He's been spending it like Beckham.
There's more.
Having informed the priests that they'd have to take a pay cut, Archie next tried to confuse them by aping to share their concerns about ongoing media misrepresentations of sex abuse cases.
With a holier than thou mien, he asserted that the scale of sex abuse occurring within the church had been exaggerated.
Well, duhhhhhhh.
Archie did this in a sermon in a Dublin Church.
The sermon was as per usual faithfully reported by Archie's anti Catholic allies at Independent Newspapers and the Irish Times.
It was all a bit rich.
Not for the first time Archie lifted his analysis from The Heelers Diaries, turned it on its head, and attempted to portray himself as a defender of the church.
He told the congregation that some media coverage of sex abuse had been unfair and had led people to believe most abusers were priests.
Really Archie!
Where did you read that!
And how on earth could people ever have been misled about the level of abuse in the church?
How on earth could people have come to believe the grotesque media lie claiming that the worst cases and the preponderance of cases involved priests?
How on earth could people have been deluded by the snowstorm of mendacity in the Irish Independent, Irish Times, RTE and Judge Yvonne Murphy's Nazi style report asserting maliciously that Bishops' attempts to handle sex abuse cases discreetly amounted to the concealment of sex abuse?
How on earth could people have been led by the nose to ignore the 99.99 percent of child abuse cases, ie the most serious and extreme cases which have occcurred at the hands of non Catholic people with no Catholic involvement, those most vile of vile cases which have arisen in government care, Health Boards, sports clubs, orphanages, Doctor Barnardos, and hospitals, and within families, and at the hands of paedophile rings, and devil worshippers, the vast majority of cases no less, how could the truth about these most serious cases occurring in the general population precisely because of the rise of a vicious atheistic sex culture pleasure ethic and the propagation of that corrupting and disrupting ethic within those aforementioned anti Catholic media groups, how could all this have been so successfully obfuscated while the media and political and judicial elites contrived a veritable pogrom against our ancient and beautiful Catholic faith?
Here's how.
Because you helped them do it Archie.
They were nothing without you.
I gotta tell you sunbeam.
You're arriving a little late at the Heelers Diaries Defend The Church party.
And you're impressing no one.
By the way, I recall one of the other occasions when you plagiarised my website.
I had suggested that you and other atheistic liberals were using sex abuse scandals in an attempt to remake the Catholic Church in your own image.
You took my phrase about remaking the Church, translated it into Italian, and delivered it as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth to a gathering of prelates in the Vatican.
You hijacked my phrase describing you, and used it to demonise your enemies.
Ah memories.
You've got bawls I'll give you that.
But whatever Satan is paying you, it's not enough.
Your attempts to recast yourself as a defender of the Church will fail.
We know what you are.
Short of a genuine conversion to Christianity, you will stand or fall on your record, on what you have done, on your collaboration with the atheistic media in attempting to hound honorable decent self sacrificing Bishops from office.
You will be judged on this.
Not on your latest press release.
You will be judged on your attempts to contrive guilt for a generation of Bishops over their handling of sex abuse cases and to deny them the right to defend themselves when that guilt had been so contrived, solely so that you could replace them with your own handpicked atheistic liberal social workers.
Sussed Archie.
And so we go on.
Beasts, creatures, things.
Exultant into the night.
My thoughts drift to the Daily Mail's reporter Katie Kerrigan who this week excoriated the ancient Church for its new translation of the holy mass.
Kerrigan is an atheistic liberal who has hated the Catholic Church with pious passion for thirty years.
But she insists she has a right to call herself Catholic by virtue of the fact that she now sends her progeny to a Catholic school.
I kid you not.
I suppose she's about as Catholic as you are Archie.
But she's not a Catholic in any meaningful sense of that term.
Her entire adult life has been spent sneering at the church, advocating condom culture and abortion culture, and vaguely annoying me whenever I was unfortunate enough to come across her semi literate maunderings.
And now she not only insists she be accepted as a Catholic, she also insists she be given credibility as an insider to comment on church affairs.
Let's be clear.
Katie Kerrigan is not a Catholic.
She doesn't believe there's a God.
She doesn't believe God had a son.
She doesn't believe that the son of God commissioned the Catholic Church to serve himself in human history.
What has this to do with you Archie?
Well in her latest syncopated maundering (Newspaper article surely - Ed note) Katie Kerrigan was criticising the new English translation of the mass and blaming its compulsory promulgation on the Vatican.
Irony of ironies.
She's right about the translation.
It should never have happened.
The compulsory manner in which it happened should never have happened.
But she's wrong to try and use it as a divide and conquer tool in her war to separate Irish Christians from the ancient Church.
The ancient Church.
I keep saying the ancient Church.
Hint: I'm not referring to one set up by King Henry the Eighth, Joe Stalin, Adolf Hitler, or Mary MacAleese, or a segment of it systematically infiltrated by the IRA on behalf of Soviet Russia.
There you go.
You know what I'm talking about.
Mary Kerrigan is also wrong in thinking that because she self designates herself as a Catholic, she is entitled to speak as a respected insider about Church affairs.
She is less Catholic than the Muslim parents who send their children to Catholic schools in Indonesia and the Philippines because they recogise that Catholic education and spiritual values will give their young people a tremendously enlightening start in life.
At least some Muslims believe in God and respect the Catholic Church.
Katie Kerrigan neither believes in God nor respects his Church.
She rejects one and despises the other.
As I've said before, she's probably about as Catholic as you are Archie.
Here's the point.
She thinks it's the Vatican that's promulgated the new English translation of the mass.
And Archie.
Oh Archie.
I'm looking at this dreadful unwise injudicious translation and considering the dreadful manner in which it has been foisted on us.
And Archie.
I don't think this thing was forced on us by the Vatican.
I think it was you.

Monday, November 14, 2011

the heelers report into fine gael's disastrous performance in the irish presidential elections

For the attention of: Prime Minister Enda Kenny
Copies: To everyone else.

1. The Fine Gael vote in the Presidential elections fell to an historic low point of seven percent.

2. The figure of seven percent overstates the actual vote. Since around 45 percent of people, half the population, did not vote at all, the true figure voting Fine Gael as a percentage of those eligible to cast a ballot, would be closer to two percent.

3. Jim Mitchell who stood for Fine Gael seems like a decent enough chap and should have attracted at least as high a vote as Fine Gael's previous historic loser duds, particularly the northie chap who stood in 1997, whatsisface, oh I couldn't be arsed looking it up, oh Austin Currie, that's it, who got fully 15 percent of the vote when he didn't even want to win.

4. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed for reasons unrelated to Jim Mitchell or Jim Mitchell's gangster cousin.

5. An internal Fine Gael report is at present being prepared into the collapse of the Fine Gael vote. This report is being prepared by a gombeen called Charlie Flanagan. Charlie Flanagan inherited his parliamentary seat from his Daddy. His Daddy Oliver J Flanagan was famous for claiming there was no sex in Ireland before television. That's the class of people they are. Charlie Flanagan like his father is a would be crowd pleaser although unlike his father he attempts to please the mob by sneering at the Catholic Church whereas his father always attempted to please the mob by pretending to be a member of the Church.  Charlie Flanagan was Jim Mitchell's campaign manager in the Irish Presidential elections. Charlie Flanagan is incapable of either identifying or telling the truth as to why the Fine Gael vote has collapsed.

6. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Charlie Flanagan of Fine Gael recently called for the expulsion of the Vatican ambassador from Ireland.

7. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Alan Shatter of Fine Gael has introduced legislation to compel Catholic priests to tell Alan Shatter of Fine Gael what is confessed to priests in the sacrament of Confession. Neither the Nazis or the Communists ever attempted such an outrage.

8. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Prime Minister Enda Kenny, a vacant, vascillatory, vacuous, hairstyle of a man, recently issued a manipulative, malign, malicious, and crassly mendacious statement claiming the Vatican had obstructed Ireland's enquiries into child abuse. When challenged as to how, when or where the Vatican had done such a thing, Enda Kenny at first refused to answer, and then issued a statement through his spin doctors to wit: "I wasn't talking about any specific case. I was merely representing the anger of the Irish people." Yet, he had told a very specific nay a very grotesque lie. And the anger of the Irish people is now being represented by an historic collapse in the Fine Gael vote to two percent of the population.

9. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael has permitted its coalition partner Ruairi Quinn of the Labour Party to attempt a take over of Catholic Church run schools.

10. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael has permitted pharmacies in Ireland to begin stocking abortion pills for the first time in the history of our nation.

11. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed not only because Fine Gael has permitted pharmacies in Ireland to stock abortion pills, but also because Fine Gael has expressly and deliberately permitted those same pharmacies to dispense abortion pills to children. The issuing of abortion pills to children has been mandated
for pharmacies by Fine Gael without doctor's prescriptions and without parental consent or knowledge. Under Fine Gael's governorship the pharmacies are being permitted to give abortion pills to whoever they want under whatever circumstances they want. I kid you not.

12. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael is now the most anti Catholic government in Europe.

13. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael was elected by Irish people seeking an alternative to Fianna Fail kleptocracy, and yet since taking office Fine Gael has continued to pour State funds into the collapsed Fianna Fail gangster bank Anglo Irish which has been renamed in an attempt to confuse the public.

14.The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael has also used public funds to purchase the collapsed gangster bank Allied Irish Bank (Not to be confused with Anglo.) Fine Gael has spent at least ten thousand million dollars in State funds on a worthless shell of a bank taking it into State ownership and allowing its staff to continue to remunerate themselves with million dollar salaries from a bank that has no money except public money. It is worth noting that thirty years ago a previous Fine Gael atheist prime minister called Garret Fitzgerald used public funds to bail out the same Allied Irish Bank without insisting on any return to the citizenry. The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town. It's also worth noting that atheistic marxian Finance Minister Ruairi Quinn's brother Lochlainn is a Board Member at Allied Irish Bank. Lochlainn recently purchased a vineyard in France for more than 30 million dollars. Under the terms of the Fine Gael bailout of Ruairi Quinn's brother Lochlainn's bank, Lochlainn Quinn will be keeping his vineyard and whatever other millions he has sequestered during his time overseeing Allied Irish Bank's utter collapse into malfeasant bankruptcy. He will paying a grand total of nought pounds towards the rescue of the bank he destroyed. So no worries there then.

15. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael has continued the Fianna Fail tradition of corrupting and colonising the judiciary by appointing party apparatchiks as Judges.

16. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael has continued the Fianna Fail tradition of invidious patronage by appointing its supporters to the Boards of State companies.

17. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael is a deeply diseased atheistic party.

18. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael is being run from the shadows by unaccountable and unprincipled spin doctors, druggies, whoremasters, abortionists, gangsters and pornographers.

19. The Fine Gael vote has collapsed because Fine Gael is more vilely and blatantly kleptocratic than even that most odious of odiousnesses the Fianna Fail party which under Aherne and the Lenihans was responsible for the theft of the nation.

20. At least the Fianna Failers had souls.