The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, January 10, 2009

and then the dark

"The Arabs will never be defeated," I said suddenly.
In the half light of the cafe, Serafina looked startled.
She had never heard me talk like this before.
"What do you mean?" she said.
Outside, night time traffic swept up Dame Street.
"The Arab nations will be upheld until the end of time," I murmured almost to myself.
Serafina did not keep the bemusement from her face.
"Would you care to explain what you're getting at?" she grinned.
I sat back.
"There's a tradition within Christianity," I said. "Not everyone knows about it or believes it. But some do. The tradition is that the Arabs are sons of Abraham just as the Israelis are. And the Arabs are his first born sons. When God told Abraham he would be the father of Israel and that the nation of Israel would speak God's truth to the world, Abraham pleaded with God: I am an old man, I already have a son, bless him and that will be enough for me. And God who is a father himself was pleased that Abraham would ask this. He told Abraham that his first born son would be the father of great nations, and that these would be blessed until the end of time. None will overthrow them. Ever."
Serafina was still doing her Cheshire cat impression.
"You're full of surprises today," she offered.
I stared out the window, my face as desolate as any of you have ever seen it.
"But the Iranians," I said softly. "Whose sons are they?"
Serafina took a sip of caffe latte.
"I presume you're going to tell me," she said.
There came a sound of revelry from the street.
Young men and women drunk and disorderly.
They passed by.
I spoke again.
"The first we hear about the Iranians is a few thousand years ago when 300 Greeks were kicking the arses of a mighty Iranian army through the passes of Thermopylae," I mused. "Nowadays they Iranians are more likely to do their fighting through proxy terror armies. Hamas in Gaza. Or Hezbollah in South Lebanon. Or through Syrian assassination squads in Beirut. There's some evidence though that Arab nations are getting tired of being used by the Iranian government to fight Iran's battles. The Arabs are nobody's farm animals. The Arabs are warriors. Remember when President Bush liberated Iraq from Saddam Hussein? It was the Iranians who sabotaged the liberation. It was the Iranians and their friends in Al Qaeda who decided Iraq didn't deserve to be free. It was the Iranians who murdered hundreds of thousands of Iraqis in a desperate attempt to stampede the Iraqi people away from freedom. It was the Iranians who blew up the Blue Mosque in an attempt to provoke an Iraqi civil war. The Iranians were so terrified of a free nation emerging on their borders. More precisely the Iranian government was terrified that a free Iraq on it borders would mean the Iranian people might also demand freedom. So the Iraqis had to be slaughtered. Not for the glory of Islam. For the glory of Iran. But here's the thing. All across the Middle East, more and more of the Arab nations are figuring it out. And Iran is getting scared. Hence all this talk from Iranian President Grinny Ahmadinejad about wiping Israel off the map. These are tough days for the Iranians. The Israelis have just totaled one Iranian proxy terror army in Gaza. The clock is running out on Hezbollah in Lebanon. And poor old mass murdering psychotic Iran is beginning to wonder if it has any friends left to fight its battles. Don't get me wrong. Iran will attack Israel. Eventually. Not because the Iranian government is brave. But because it's insane. And the Israelis will not honour Iran with valiant conflict as they honour the Arabs. The Israelis will destroy Iran with a nuclear Thermopylae."
I stood up.
It seemed the whole cafe had fallen quiet.
"I've got to go," I said. "The hour is getting late."
I walked alone into the cool night air.
A stooped oddly heroic figure forever burdened with a capacity to see clearly what the rest of the world wants to deny.

Dedicated to all my friends at the Iranian television channel Al Alam who visited The Heelers Diaries yesterday to explore their limits. I assure you guys I'm going to do my level best to keep you entertained.

Friday, January 09, 2009

poetry as sex trap

make me immortal with a kiss
william shakespeare used to say this
when himself and francis bacon were on the p--s
or maybe just hanging out at sir walter raleigh's place in the sticks
it was a highly efficacious line for pulling chicks
in those innocent days of 1596

thy beauty it has brought me home
to the grandeur that was greece
and the glory that was rome
thus spoke the bold sir edgar allen poe
the critics applauded
and his mistress wasn't slow
to favour him with a smile of purest joy
and mutter something about come up and see me big boy

girl i'm going to be more subtle
than shakespeare poe or simon tuttle
who's he you cry
and i don't know
he rhymes with subtle
so in he goes
i give you only a time and place
my house tonight half past eight

Thursday, January 08, 2009

today they said

"War is always hardest on civilians."
Fionnuala Sweeney, CNN broadcaster.

"Fionnuala that's a good platitude. But of course an Israeli soldier with his guts ripped out is going to suffer just as much as any other human being with their guts ripped out. The British soldier whose face was burnt off by Iraqi rioters, well, he's suffered a lot too hasn't he? Even more so because the only reason the Iraqi rioters got near him was because he'd been given ridiculous rules of engagement which did not allow him to fire on them. The British are still lions Fionnuala. And they're still led by donkeys. And the Iraqi rioters were part of the Mahdi militia, yet another proxy terror army sponsored by Iran, weren't they Fionnuala? You'll be familiar with the case because you're a serious journalist and not just a pretty face. But I digress. The platitudes won't cover this one Fionnuala. I would humbly draw your attention to the suffering of the Israeli soldier Gilad Shalitt who was kidnapped from Israel by Hamas during a suprise attack out of Gaza into Israel in 2006, and hasn't been seen since. The surprise attack was coordinated with a similar incursion from Lebanon by that other renowned Iranian proxy terror army Hezbollah. Do you remember? CNN styled the 2006 sneak Arab attacks on Israel as The Israeli Invasion Of Lebanon. Fun times. Fionnuala, I would humbly suggest that Gilad Shalitt's suffering may transcend anything you or your fellow Arab sympathisers at CNN, or even those Hamas voting civilians in Gaza, or even any of the rest of us, have ever experienced. Do you think he's still alive Fionnuala? Do you think the peaceloving terrorists of Hamas torture him on a daily basis? Do you care Fionnuala? And by the way, I've noticed that your pious faux humanitarian platitudes always seem to help that peaceloving proxy Iranian terror army known as Hamas. Seriously though, you're doing a brilliant job."
James Healy

"The Israelis fired on our convoys."
John Ging, UN Viceroy in charge of propping up Hamas Rule in the Gaza Strip.

"Hey Ging. Long time no hear. It must be at least five minutes since your last attempt to incriminate the State of Israel for war crimes. The last one was on Al Jazeera television, wasn't it? Good for your credibility Ging. Here is the news. It's not about you Ging. You don't matter. Israel is fighting for its existence. You're not the story today. Or yesterday. Or ever. I noticed that this evening's Ging Live From Gaza was carried on both CNN and the Iranian channel Press TV. There's some interesting bed fellows, eh Ging? One more thing. You are lying when you say the Israelis deliberately targeted your convoys. Here's why. If the Israelis deliberately targeted your convoys, the entire convoys would have been destroyed. You know what you and your UN Relief Works Agency are like, Ging? You're like the UN agency that propped up the Taliban in Afghanistan right up to and after Nine Eleven. You are an enabler for Arabist dictatorship Ging. You have hung around Gaza too long for any good you have been doing. In the name of God, go."
James Healy

"Evil Israelis, blah blah blah. The group which bombed Israel from Lebanon today is not an Islamic militant group. It's nationalist. Evil Israelis, blah blah blah. Israel to blame. Plausible deniability for Muslim terror. Allah u akbar, blah blah blah."
Robert Fisk, broadcasting on French television.

"Fisk you are a Nazi. Er. That's it."
James Healy

"Of course Iran has developed the habit of waging war on its enemies through proxy armies."
Mademoiselle Sexicia de la Sexe, France24 television.

"Sexicia, am I hearing you right? This is the first time I've heard the mention of the phrase Iranian proxy army on any news channel. Have you been reading my blog? Are you free for coffee Friday evening?"
James Healy

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

my home town

Kilcullen painted by the artist Gertrude Coffey.

poetic justice

"Tim Bowdler is gone."
That's all it said.
An email.
Presumably from one of my fans in the Leinster Leader.
There are still a few at that august publication who occasionally try to contact me for various reasons.
(When Heelers says august, he means crapulous. - Ed note.)
The anonymous email apparently referred to Mr Timothy Bowdler, who was Chief Executive at the Johnston Press when the company fired me from the Leinster Leader on a dark November day a little over a year ago.
The 27th of November 2007 to be exact.
A day forever known to social scientists as Black Snurdsday.
And now Bowdler himself is gone.
I hadn't needed an anonymous tip off to alert me to that fact.
The Johnston Press issued a statement at least a month ago saying that Bowdler's retirement had been planned well in advance.
Personally I wouldn't believe the Lord's prayer from those people.
But why then would they claim Bowdler's retirement was long planned?
Of course!
They want to avoid speculation that Bowdler's moving on is in any way related to the decision to fire me.
Or they want to avoid speculation that Bowdler's moving on is in any way related to the collapse of the Johnston Press share price from £4 the night I was fired, to a level of a few pennies less than a year after the night I was fired.
Or perhaps they just want to avoid speculation that the collapse of the Johnston Press share price is directly and irrevocably and solely related to the decision to fire me, the ensuing price collapse being an utterly predictable end result following on from such an utterly assinine decision.
We can only wonder.
And right this minute the ghost of John Milton appears at my shoulder.
He declaims:

"Bowdler is gone.
Young Bowdler,
And hath not left his peer.
Who would not weep for Bowdler,
He knew himself to weep,
And sink the occasional beer."

Ah, you can sing it John.
And sing one for some of the other great men who departed the company soon after the decision was made to fire me.
The Managing Director of the Leinster Leader at the time I was fired left a few weeks after me.
His name hadn't been on my firing letter though.
The name on the firing letter was the name of a supposed editor of the Leinster Leader.
And the name on my firing letter had been signed with a "pp" beside it so maybe the supposed editor didn't sign it at all.
I'm told that in certain circles, putting a "pp" beside a signature on a letter is a way of conveying calculated disrespect.
It is meant to imply that someone else in the office signed the letter on behalf of the person whose name appears as signatory to the letter, because the person receiving the letter, in this instance a firing letter by God, was not entitled to the dignity of a letter actually properly signed by anyone.
Classy classy people.
Both the Managing Director and his supposed editor left the Leinster Leader shortly after me.
I wonder did they walk or were they pushed.
Perhaps the standard they had used was the standard they were measured by.
We can only hope.

Yes, a year after firing me from the job where I'd worked for ten years, the Johnston Press has gone through a lot of changes. Lots of comings and goings. Lots of Hire-ums and Fire-ums themselves getting hired and fired.
It's all very sad.

And now Bowdler marches off into the sunset along with them.
Bowdler by name and Bowdler by nature, that's what I say.
He bowdlerised the Leinster Leader anyway.
Thanks a bloody lot Tim.

And lo!
As I type this, oh my gentle travellers of the internet, the door of the computer room at the Chateau De Healy opens.
In walks the ghost of Freddie Mercury accompanied by members of the British rock group Queen.
They begin setting up their instruments in the corner.
"James do you mind if we play a song?" wonders Freddie.
"Not at all," sez I, beckoning them to proceed.
Secretly I am hoping they will play that cracking Flash Gordon song.
But no.
It's a different song.
I turn my swivel chair around. John Milton lounges on the photocopier.
(By swivel chair Heelers means kitchen chair. - Ed note.)
We smile as Freddie begins.
His song goes:

"I wanna dedicate this song to all you management types at the Johnston Press.
Dunk, dunk, dunk.
Another one bites the dust.
Dunk, dunk, dunk.
Another one bites the dust.
Another one's come and another one's gone.
Another one bites the dust.
Hoo yeahhhhhhh.
The shares are going down.
Another one bites the dust.
Hoo yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

I gotta tell you bold readers, the ghost of Freddie Mercury has still got it when it comes to this sort of thing.
No one could have sung it better.

It was a fitting tribute to the great retiring Johnston Press man.
We will never forget you Tom Bowdler.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

the end of innocence

Morning at the Chateau De Healy.
The young scion is sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea.
(Young Zionist, surely? - Ed note.)
Enter the Mammy stage left.
The noble Heelers looks up from his reverie.
"I still can't figure out," sez I, "why ould South Koreany would be so upset by my red eye. She couldn't even look at me. She wouldn't make conversation. She just sat there and bolted at the earliest opportunity. It was amazing."
"You're an innocent man," quoth the Mammy.
"What do you mean?" sez I.
"I mean," quoth the Mammy, "that you wouldn't know a hangover if it came up and bit you on the arse."

fortunes of war

In 1945 as the Russians closed in on Berlin, the chief of the German Red Cross sat his wife and children around the dinner table, took out a grenade, and blew them all to kingdom come.
Presumably hell.
For the chief of the German Red Cross was a Nazi.
No doubt if Sky News existed at the time, it would have decried the deaths of his wife and children as civilian casualties, and then endeavoured to find some way to blame the Jews for compelling him to commit suicide.
In 1943, senior Red Cross officials were photographed in Greece smoking a few convivial cigarettes with SS officers.
The pictures exude a happy relaxed camaraderie.
Clearly these Red Cross personnel were also Nazis.
Or worse.
They were indifferent to Nazis.
Or worse.
They liked Nazis.
Fast forward to the present day.
In Ireland the head of the Red Cross is a politician called David Andrews.
David Andrews has lobbied in Ireland on behalf of Arab interests.
David Andrews' most famous bit of lobbying concerned his statement that Ireland should have a Muslim television station so that the Irish could learn how much the country owes to Muslims.
Traitors come in many guises, eh Dave?
Even more famous for kindness to passing Arabs, than Dave the Fave Rave of Muslim Zouaves, is our ex Prime Minister Albert Reynolds.
Albert Reynolds received a donation of a million bucks some years ago from a generous Arab princeling.
The Arab princeling received an Irish passport.
Albert Reynolds claimed he was unaware that the Arab princeling had given Albert Reynolds a million bucks.
Albert Reynolds said he was unaware of the gift of a million bucks to him from an Arab princeling because the Arab princeling had given the million bucks to Albert Reynolds' pet food company and not directly to Albert Reynolds himself.
Albert Reynolds insisted that the decision to give an Irish passport to Abu Bin Mahmoud Al Millions was not related to the Arab princeling's decision to give a million bucks to Albert Reynolds' pet food company.
I kid you not.
You couldn't make it up.
But I digress.
The point I wanted to note is that Albert's political colleague David Andrews is head of the Irish Red Cross.
All the rest is padding.
Suffice it to say, I don't accord any credibility to the anti Israeli statements coming out of any Red Cross sources at the present time.
They are of a piece with the amoral Nazi accomodating behaviour of the Red Cross in the not so distant past.
This afternoon Sky News has been presenting us with the analysis of Red Cross officials based in the Gaza Strip.
Sky always identifies them as Red Cross officials.
Even though strictly speaking they are members of an allied organisation called catchily enough The Red Crescent.
Sounds a bit Muslim doesn't it?
Never mind.
Sky tends to spare our sensibilities on that score.
Nothing must detract from the agenda.
Nothing so worthless as accuracy anyway.
And all day long Sky broadcasts and rebroadcasts these Gaza Strip Red Cross officials telling us how the Israeli attack must be stopped.
Precisely the same day a UN school used by the Jihadis blows itself to smithereens when a single Israeli shell hits it.
It blows itself to smithereens because the UN had permitted Hamas to hide rockets and mortars in it.
Go figure.
In between promoting the pro Hamas viewpoint of the latter day Red Cross Arabist Nazis, Sky News blares out the views of personnel from Oxfam and associated UN charity businesses based in the Gaza Strip.
Not charities.
Charity businesses.
They trade on a permanent conflict in Gaza.
They certainly don't want to see the Iranian backed terror army known as Hamas being defeated.
Because then there would be no reason to maintain the massive funding which charities in Gaza have received for forty years.
Sky pretends the views of personnel working in the charity business are somehow worthy of respect.
Their views are repeated ad nauseam.
Yet they are much of a muchness.
"Israel must stop the bombardment," the Oxfam and UN charity businessmen declaim in unison.
Meaning explicitly, Arab terrorists must once more be let off the hook.
Let's face it.
Oxfam and associated UN businesses posing as charities have crammed food aid, fuel aid, clothes aid, school aid, and money aid into the Gaza Strip while all but ignoring genuine suffering and destitution and victimisation and oppression and genocide all across Africa and Asia.
Four million dead in the Congo in the past seven years.
At least three million dead in Southern Sudan.
Millions dead in Somalia, Western Sahara, Angola, Zimbabwe, and so on.
You hear the Gazans whining about two hours electricity or two hours water a day, or petrol shortages, or schools being closed, or whatever.
The Africans, the North Koreans, the Burmese, the Laotians, the Mongolians and the Cambodians have no schools, no running water, no electricity, no cars, no homes, no freedom, and virtually no lives.
Yet the UN continues to focus its resources on the one and a half million Gazan freebooters who two years ago elected the Iranian proxy terror army Hamas as their government and now want the rest of us to take the consequences.
This isn't charity.
This is a UN political project in support of Arab terror.
No more free lunches for Arab terrorists.
Nothing for any of them.
Let the Arabs work for a living.
Or if they're capable of making a living for themselves while engaging in permanent terrorism against the rest of the world, let them get on with it.
On their own dollar.
No more.
No more stage Irishmen called John Ging sticking their UN noses into matters that don't concern them.
No more John Ging of the UN Health and Relief Association with his pseudo Irish, faux British accent, proclaiming: "I'm not prejudging anything. I just want an enquiry. All this must stop now."
You're prejudging everything Ging.
You want to put the Israelis on trial for war crimes.
It's not going to happen Ging.
You should be on trial.
You Ging.
You should be on trial for permitting Hamas to control schools financed and built by the United Nations.
You should be on trial for allowing Hamas to store rockets and missiles in schools financed and built by the UN.
And you should be on trial Ging for standing back while Hamas fire on Israeli soldiers from schools financed and built by the UN, and then stepping forward when the smoke clears to tell Arab television that you want an enquiry.
You febrile git.
Get out of Gaza Ging.
But for God's sake stay away from Ireland.
We don't need you here.
We have quite enough Arabists swanning around peddling cloud cuckoo land notions of synthetic humanitarianism.
Here is the news.
Many of us have grown tired of inadvertently financing the Palestinian conflict through the UN's terrorist hand holding; tired of upholding the Arabs' conflict driven life style and dessicated victim culture; tired of giving Arab terrorists asylum in our countries without ever having a choice of denying these toe rags such asylum; and tired of watching young Arab street thugs harassing people going about their business in Dublin city centre and other European capitals.
You know what's funny.
The only place where the UN consistently speaks out against military actions is in the Gaza Strip.
And the only time it does so is when those military actions are carried out by Israel.
But there are signs the world has had enough.
Sky News and CNN may redouble their propaganda.
It doesn't matter.
Too many of us now know or suspect the truth about Arab Muslim terror.
Muslim terrorists are at war with all of us.
Consequently, the few recent rag tag Arab protest marches in the western world struggled to get a crowd.
In Dublin on Saturday the Irish national broadcaster lied about the turnout, claiming over a thousand people had turned up.
Even the abysmally dishonorable Irish Times admitted the numbers were as low as 600.
I counted 200 Arabs and their friends from the Irish Times and RTE at the march.
Interestingly enough, in other countries ordinary middle of the road people turned out to launch counter marches in support of Israel.
Yes things are changing.
Though not on Sky News or CNN.
Sky News and CNN would continue the same pro Arab reporting agenda if Ahmadinejad nuked London.
(Which he will attempt to do shortly.)
The rest of us have had enough.
Over on the heroically incompetent Irish national broadcaster RTE, presenter Anne Doyle announced on Sunday: "Death toll rises in Gaza, over 500 civilians now dead."
Ah yes.
Not even Sky News' clownish Lord Haw Haws, Dominic Waghorn and Tim Marshall claim 500 civilians are dead.
Not even Hamas itself claims 500 civilians are dead.
Not even Press TV, the English language service of the Islamic Republic of Iran claims 500 civilians are dead.
The real figure, meaning the figure claimed by Arabs and Arab apologists, is 100 civilians dead.
And let's be clear.
These 100 civilians would be civilians in the sense that Magda Goebbels and the five little Goebbels children huddled in the bunker next to Hitler were civilians.
Presumably RTE will shortly issue a retraction.
Don't hold your breath.
And as surely as more and more of us begin to suspect the truth about Arab terror, that the Arabs are at war with all of us, as surely as we know it now, just as surely more and more of us begin to know that Sky News and CNN do not speak for the free world.
In fact they never have.
Remember CNN's concealment of murders committed by Saddam Hussein's regime?
Remember why CNN failed to report the various murders it knew Saddam had committed?
Remember how CNN sought to preserve its broadcasting rights in Iraq and actually decided against reporting the murder of one of CNN's own Iraqi employees in order to proect CNN's trading position in Iraq?
Pretty grim isn't it?
It all happened.
It's happening now.
CNN and Sky News do not speak for us.
They have no horse in the race which features the Free World against Islamic Terror.
By default they end up favouring the Arabs every time.
Can you believe it?
During a time of international Muslim Jihad against the world, the major media groups seem to have their eyes on broadcasting rights throughout the useless profitless Middle East.
That miracle region which has delivered oppression, poverty and desolation to its people even on the back of limitless oil wealth.
For those of us who believe there is a serious dysfunction in western discourse, and that Arab apologists have walked off with our media groups, for those of us who believe this and dare to oppose it, the time has come to establish alternative media outlets.
Certainly if the Islamic Republic of Iran has an English language satelite service, the State of Israel should seriously consider establishing its own readily available international news channel.
The American government likewise.
And those of us bloggers who've been holding high the torch of liberty on the internet, we too should start to set up our own media groups.
The time has come.
Sky News and CNN and their ilk have failed us.
Criminally failed us.
Ah yes.
Who would have thought that in the early years of the twenty first century, journalistic excellence and intellectual integrity, moral courage and principled free speech, the very conscience as it were of the human race, would repose in a locally produced internet publication with two dozen readers a day.
Modesty prevents me from naming it.

Monday, January 05, 2009


Winter skirling through the heartland of South Kildare.
The young laird stands at the high window in the west wing of the Chateau De Healy.
(Young lard, surely? - Ed note.)
The noble Heelers, for it is he, watches the flurries of snow blowing across the fields.
His mood is bleak but not forlorn.
He is thinking of the timelessness of snow.
Years ago he had planned to write a television series about the poet Ben Johnson.
The series would have opened with a scene where Johnson as a young man is pelted with snowballs in the streets of London, and rages at the children who've pelted him.
The series would have ended with Johnson as an old man being pelted again, who knows but by the grand children of his earlier assailants, and laughing at the good of it.
It rhymes.
Visual poetry.
Ah me.
I am my own biggest fan.
And as I watch the snow today, I remember the reality on which my Ben Johnson is based.
Me as a young man striding down Main Street Naas and spying two kids out of the corner of my eye, lining me up for some snowballs.
I'd turned.
"If you throw those snowballs at me," I snarled, "I'll break your faces."
As I walked away at least ten snowballs impacted severally with my ruffled dignity.
Funniest thing ever.
But here we are.
At the window in the west wing.
The Mammy appears at my shoulder.
"What are you at?" sez she.
"Thinking about the timelessness of snow," sez I.
"Are you mad or what?" sez she.
"Not in dispute," sez I.
She pauses, caught suddenly by the same sight from the window which is holding me.
"I remember a heavy fall of snow here in Kilcullen back in the 1930's." she muses. "Old Mister Lawlor was cycling down the street with his bowler hat on. Snowballs were coming at him from every angle. Finally a snowball hit the bowler hat and knocked it over his eyes."
"Hmmm," I murmur. "It's kind of reassuring in a way. To think there are street urchins in every era. Did he fall off the bike?"
"I'm not sure," sez the Mammy. "We were laughing so hard, I dropped my snowball and didn't see what happened next."

breaking news

(James Healy calls on the UN to get lost.)

The United Nations must stop propping up Palestinian terrorism.

The United Nations should now formally close its food stations in the Gaza Strip.
The United Nations should now close its clothes depots in the Gaza Strip.
The United Nations should now close the schools it finances while permitting Jihadis in the Gaza Strip to run them, a practice which has allowed the Jihadis to train their children to chant Death To Israel and to do little else.

We should never again see chubby rosy cheeked well clothed children in the streets of Gaza throwing stones at Israeli soldiers.
We should never again see chubby rosy cheeked well clothed children whose parents have never worked a day in their lives, burning Israeli flags and dancing joyously in the streets on full stomachs after Nine Eleven.
We should never again see chubby rosy cheeked Palestinian children chanting Death To Israel, having been taught to chant this crudd in schools we ourselves have financed through a clearly out of control terrorist sympathising United Nations.

And we should never again see Palestinian Daddies driving to their next assassination in vehicles filled with oil from United Nations petrol pumps.

This all must stop.
The Palestinians have inflicted their terrorism on Israel and the world for the past sixty years.
The Palestinians' heroic dedication to their losing terrorist war with Israel has been facilitated by the United Nations and its faux charitable organisations.
So Palestinians think Allah is Akbar and that they are going to inflict an endless war on humanity and that we're all going to go along with it as we've always done.
Palestinians swear they will fight to the end.
It's time they did it on their own dollar.

It's time the United Nations gave a little help to people who are truly in need.

The United Nations should immediately establish feeding stations in Zimbabwe, Burmah and North Korea whose people are genuinely starving, genuinely oppressed, and yet have never inflicted terrorism on the world in any form, shape or guise.
The United Nations should immediately establish clothing depots in Zimbabwe, Burmah and North Korea, whose people are enduring murderous hardship at the hands of their governments, not just the frivolous self inflicted terror culture of the Palestinians, but real violation, real infringements of their human dignity, real vitiation of their futures, and yet whose people have never made war with the rest of the world or thrown a single stone, or planted a single bomb, or burnt a single flag.
The United Nations should immediately finance schools all across Zimbabwe, Burmah, and North Korea, whose children never riot, never throw stones, never plant bombs, never burn flags, and whose parents only want to live in peace, and none of whose citizens, parents or children have ever made war with the rest of the world, and yet because of United Nations neglect, all of whom are forced to live under the most heinous and vile of dictatorships.

The game is over.
The Palestinians have had their free lunch.
(And their free petrol. And their free clothes. And their free schools. And their free sixty years inflicting war on the world.)
They still hate Israel.
And they still hate everybody else who isn't a Muslim psychopath.
It's time the people of Palestine started to work for a living.
It's time the people of Palestine and the rest of the Arab Muslim world faced the consequences of their own actions without the intervention of a dictatorship loving United Nations perpetually offering them succour.
It's time the people of Palestine took responsibility for who and what they are.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

all my eye

The lovely Brazilian waitress in the Muse cafe burst out laughing.
The noble Heelers looked nonplussed.
"What's wrong with you?" sez I.
She controlled herself.
"Your tee shirt," sez she. "It shows too much. It makes you look like a macho man."
My gentle preraphaelite features broke into an expansive smile.
"I am a macho man," I replied warmly.
Miss Brazil laughed again.
There was something seditious in her laughter which was not entirely pleasing to me.
Then she noticed my eye.
"Oh my God," she cried. "What happened to your eye? It's horrible. What did you do to it?"
I favoured her with a leery grin.
"You Brazilians haven't got a clue," I said. "Now down Argentina way, eyes like this are considered very sexy."
She peered closely at my eye, even going so far as to chance poking it with her finger.
"Don't do that," I screamed calmly.
La Braziliana put her eye poking finger to her lips.
"I think I know what it is," she prognosticated thoughtfully. "It looks like..."
And then she said something Brazilian along the lines of zubba zubba zing zang.
"Yes," quoth me, "I'd say that's what it is alright."
I went and sat down with my coffee.
Quick call on the mobile phone to Doctor Barn.
He's been away all Christmas.
"Hey Doc," I tell him. "You're going to miss my eye. By the time you get back it will probably be better."
"What did you do to it?" wondered Daktari.
Bold readers I have to ask you.
Why does everyone think I've done something to myself to cause the various nefarious debilitations which regularly afflict me?
I mean, stuff happens.
Ah yes.
We're cleaning up The Heelers Diaries this year.
But back to the present.
"The eye turned red," I told the brother.
"You mean red rimmed?" sez he.
I chuckled benevolently.
"Nope," sez I. "Just red. The whole thing. The whole of the white of the eye just went red."
There was a pause at the other end of the line.
"Hmmm," said Doctor Barn. "That sounds like..."
Then he said something in pure medicalese which at its best is virtually indistinguishable from pure Brazilian.
I'm telling you folks what he said sounded just like zubba zubba zing zang.
I rang off shortly after.
The cafe television was on.
I sat quietly with my coffee, exploring my limits with the news reports coming in from Gaza.
CNN was at it again.
A presenter called Rosemary Church allowed Mr Osama Hamdan of Hamas to state: "The Israelis killed Yasser Arafat."
Ms Church didn't challenge the brave Osama H on his facts.
Maybe she thought such things don't need to be challenged.
Well done CNN.
Another home run.
But this afternoon's overall prize for Irony In Reportage, must go to the Russian English language channel, an outfit called Russia Today.
A presenter on Russia Today proclaimed with a completely straight face:
"The Israeli response to Hamas rocket attacks has been disproportionate."
The presenter didn't even blink.
Hoo boy.
Some of you will remember Russia steamrollering its Muslim population in Chechnya a few years ago.
Muslim Chechen terrorists had murdered 150 people in a Moscow theatre before upping the ante by murdering several hundred children in a school at Beslan.
The Russians simply levelled Chechnya.
Nothing was left standing.
Let's face it.
The Israelis have been on the receiving end of Muslim terror for sixty years.
Compared to the Russians, the Israelis have been a model of patience, forebearance and restraint.
In fact compared to the Russians, the Israelis look like a bunch of flower power hippies.
The people of Gaza don't know how lucky they are.