The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, March 03, 2012

tilting at liberals

A certain Mr Thomas Crosbie has called on the Irish government to impose further compulsory taxation on the Irish citizenry in order to finance failing media groups.
Mr Crosbie is envisioning an extension of the Stalinist law which currently requires Irish citizens to finance a Stalinist anti Catholic television station called RTE.
Mr Crosbie wants a bit of the pie for the Stalinist anti Catholics of the newspaper industry.
Of course Mr Crosbie is not an entirely objective commentator on these matters.
Mr Crosbie has a horse in this race.
He is the proprietor of Thomas Crosbie Holdings.
That is to say he is the owner of a failing newspaper called The Examiner, formerly the Cork Examiner, and sundry other failing regional titles.
The Examiner is a would be national newspaper which has negligible sales outside the town of Cork.
Mr Thomas Crosbie and his Holdings have gone bust attempting to make it and themselves into a national newspaper group.
Their media strategy was to compete with the bankrupt anti Catholic Independent Newspapers and the bankrupt anti Catholic Irish Times by aping the bankrupt anti Catholic Independent Newspapers and the bankrupt anti Catholic Irish Times in their mawkish pathetic conformist pseudo radical anti Catholicism.
The Cork Examiner dropped the name Cork from its title and became as bankrupt and anti Catholic as the others.
Now the Crosbies and their Holdings (and indeed Independent Newspapers and the Irish Times and their Holdings) want the citizenry to be compelled to finance their bankrupt lifestyles, their bankrupt houses in the country, their bankrupt cocaine habits, their bankrupt mistresses, their bankrupt petrol for their bankrupt BMWS, their bankrupt holidays in Belize, their bankrupt pension funds, and their ever more bankrupt anti Catholic culture wars, they want us to finance all of this I say, regardless of whether we read their bankrupt morally abysmal fervourless feckless cosmically useless readerless newspapers, or not.
Ah yes.
Compulsory taxation on the citizenry.
The last refuge of a scoundrel.
As for censorship of the internet...
For one and a half centuries, anyone who wanted to work in a newspaper in Cork had to tug their forelock to Thomas Crosbie and/or his ancestors, and say: "Please Misther Crosbie Sorr, I was wundherin iffen I could ever have an oul job in a newspaper Sorr. Top o' the mornin to you Sorr."
Likewise nationwide if you wanted to be a journalist you had take Tony O'Reilly's shilling at the Independent or the KGB's shilling at the Irish Times.
The internet has made all of them irrelevant.
They're nearly gone.
Their last gasp is to seek Soviet style financing through central government taxation on the citizenry while undermining, subverting and ultimately hijacking the freedom of speech that has flourished worldwide on the internet.
Listen bold readers.
The internet is not the last bastion of free speech.
The internet is the first ever bastion of free speech in human history.
And that's why Thomas Crosbie and his bankrupt friends want to destroy it.
I ask you.
Just look at them.
Look at Thomas Crosbie's and his friends and allies and fellow travellers.
Look at those who are seeking to censor the internet.
Look at them.
Bankrupt newspaper groups.
Corrupt Judges.
The Chinese Communist Party.
The Assad government in Syria.
The Islamic Republic of Iran.
Er, that's it.
Lovely lovely people.

Friday, March 02, 2012

the darkness who knows

The Judge Liberals of the Irish Supreme Court have blocked the extradition of murder suspect Ian Bailey to France.
The French wanted to question him in connection with the psychopathic dismantling of an innocent woman.
Most Irish people wanted him extradited.
That is to say everyone who isn't a devil worshipper or a member of the Supreme Court.
The dead woman's family have stated: "There is no justice in Ireland."
They are correct.
Or as Judge Liberal himself would put it: "There's no justice. There's just us."
We have to stop these people.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

the count dracula regrets that he will not be rising from the grave this evening

My phone rang.
The dulcet tones of the actess known to Scotland Yard as Siobhan Scattergun assailed my ears.
"James will you be in a play?"
"No," I told her plainly.
"I wouldn't ask only I'm desperate," she pressed.
"Your desperateness is undoubted and of no interest to me," I replied.
"We need you," she insisted.
"I don't care," I answered.
"There's been five walkouts," she elaborated.
"I normally cause those," I chuckled.
"Your friends are all gone," she chuckled back.
"By which you mean my enemies," I countered.
"I do," she said.
"Still don't care," I told her.
"Mischa is directing," she averred.
"Ha, ha, ha," I shot back heartlessly.
"John Coleman is in it," she chanced.
"The left ham of the devil? Why don't you just shoot me?" I parried.
"It's a big part James," she cooed coaxingly.
"The character better be a raging heterosexual who rogers the leading lady in the first act," I warned.
"Would it change things if it were?" she wondered brightly.
"No, but I'm just getting kinda tired of you people always asking me to play either Oscar Wilde or Oscar Wilde's feyer elder brother Gropeboube," I explained.
"The play is Les Miserables," announceth she.
"The Les in the title better be the plural form of the French definite article," I mouthed darkly.
"James, everyone is going to be talking about this. You'll be the narrator. You'll be Victor Hugo," proclaimeth she.
"Oh non je ne serai pas," dis je.
"James you're the only one who can act this part," she massaged.
"Irrelevant," I expostulated.
"James will you or won't you help us?" she charged.
"Won't," I answered.
"Will you at least read the script," she pleaded.
"Never, under any circumstances," I told her obliquely.
"Will you think about it?" she begged.
"Not for a moment," I hedged.
"Will you sleep on it?" she cajoled.
"Not for a second," I dithered.
"James I'm begging you," quoth she.
"Siobhan I would rather you hacked my testicles off with a machete," I informed her with all the diplomatic delicatesse I could muster under the circumstances.
There came a sigh from the other end of the line.
"So you won't do it?" she asked as broken hearted as any starstruck waif who ever lived.
"Now you got it," I smiled.

an open letter to lana del rey

Hey Lana.
You lift your song from my poem?
James Healy

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

what is born to live

what is born to live is born to die
i've been thinking this a long time
in restlessness and peace
it seems true enough in a certain way
not true at all if you decry
but in the end finally true enough for me

a little town in france is come my prison
not too different from others i've known
trivial enough in terms of the universe
cruel enough for one alone
and i am alone my love
my words are come like ghosts to me
that sometimes i meet in dreams
they sound a haunted melody
and you also i've met
in the well worn fields
of evening in the green land
fields we wore out with walking
before the heart went mad

the curse is true both ways my love
as sure as sins forgive
what is born to die my love
is also born to live

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

special guest blogger the reverend fw faber

The longer the Church battles with the world, the more venerable she seems to become, and her victories of grace more brilliant, and the heavenliness of her ways more wonderful. Time writes no wrinkles on her brow but adds line after line of glory and freshness. She seems because we know her better to grow more beautiful, more powerful, more bright of face, more sweet of voice, more strong in arm, more motherlike in manner.

(From Maxims Of The Reverend Faber, published London 1877.)

Monday, February 27, 2012

idea for a novelty music video to raise money for charity

The song will be a parody of the Ace Of Spades. We need to get permission from louche rock group Motorhead or else just chance it. The group performing our parody must be composed of well known atheists. I suggest Richard Dawkins, Carl Sagan, Christopher Hitchens and Stephen Hawking. They might do it if we tell em it's for a good cause. (To raise funds to splice human genes with a moongoose or something.)
Sagan, Hawking and Dawkins should all be dressed in classic Motorhead leathers. Christopher Hitchens should be in a coffin. Because he's dead.
The song will be sung by Richard Dawkins and will go as follows:

Gerrymandering the evidence
Dancing with the devil
Going with the electron flow
It's all a game to me
Ner ner ner ner
Ner ner ner ner
Seven or eleven
Charlie Darwin's watching you
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner

We're the only God you need
You know it's gonna be
The atheists of spades
The atheists of spades

Sneering at creation
Manipulating academia
Claiming atheistic proofs by induction
It's all a game to me
Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner
Ner ner ner ner
Seven or eleven
The selfish genes are watching you

Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner

Morality is for fools
Man makes up the rules
That's the way I like it baby
I don't want to live forever
Ner Ner Ner
And don't forget your abortions

Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner

You know you're gonna lose
The fossil record is for fools
That's the way I fake it baby
I don't want to live forever

And don't forget Carl Sagan.

Ner ner nerdle nerdle ner
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner

Moving up the ante
With a little bit of String Theory
Relativity and Quantum
Schrodinger's Cat again
Ner ner ner
Ner ner ner

Seven or Eleven
Charlie Darwin's watching you
Ner ner ner

You know it's gonna be
We're the only God you need
The atheists of spades
The atheists of spades.

Yeah moving up the ante
Throw in a little String Theory
Read em and weep
The Piltdown Man again

Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner

And don't forget the Dawkins

The only God you need
You know it's gonna be
The atheists of spades
The atheists of spades

Ner ner ner ner


The wife of Irish government Minister Michael Noonan has died.
Nobody knows who she was or what she stood for.
Her husband is the Minister for Finance in Ireland's atheistic anti Catholic Fine Gael Labour government.
This is the same government whose representatives are currently spending an awful lot of time trawling through the Heelers Diaries.
They must love hamsters.
The dead woman's husband Finance Minister Michael Noonan is best known and best assessed for a comment he made about super thief gangster Sean Quinn some months ago.
Sean Quinn had been a key figure in enabling corrupt management at Anglo Irish Bank to burgle their own bank by accepting thousand billion dollar loans from them and then splitting the proceeds under the table.
The initial treasonous bail out at Anglo Irish Bank was initiated by a kleptocratic political party called Fianna Fail, Ireland's former government, the one that came before the present atheistic Marxist Fine Gael Labour combo.
Fianna Fail's kleptocratic use of the Irish nation to bankroll Anglo Irish Bank has since been upheld and extended by the new Fine Gael Labour Party government.
I kid you not.
Fianna Fail spent the Irish nation into the third world in order to cover up the looting of Anglo Irish Bank by its own management and Sean Quinn. (Part of the corruption and cover up involved Anglo Irish Bank giving Quinn billions of dollars to buy shares in Anglo Irish Bank.)
Fine Gael and Labour were elected to repudiate Fianna Fail kleptocracy.
Instead they have embraced it and salted with their own spicy brand of bigoted anti Catholicism.
The first thing Michael Noonnan announced after his appointment as Minister for Finance in the new Fine Gael Labour Party combo was that he felt sorry for Sean Quinn.
Shortly afterwards, Fine Gael and Labour, the parties that had been elected to repudiate Fianna Fail kleptocracy, announced that they were purchasing on the behalf of the nation, yet another bankrupt gangster bank, this time Allied Irish Bank for the bargain basement prise of ten thousand million dollars.
The board of Allied Irish Banks included Lochlainn Quinn who is a brother of Ruairi Quinn the Minister for Education in the current Fine Gael Labour anti Catholic combo.
Ruairi Quinn is currently attempting to seize control of Catholic secondary schools, with the connivance, I might add, of atheistic infiltrator Archbishop Diarmuid Martin.
Got that?
These anti Catholic Fine Gael Labour b------ds, borrowed us a further ten thousand million dollars into debt to buy Ruairi Quinn's brother's bank.
Michael Noonan's wife is dead.
She was of course given a funeral in a Catholic Church.
The Church was of course full of the people who are currently trying to eradicate Christianity from the Republic of Ireland.
That is to say, the Church was full of the same Fine Gael and Labour Party atheists who have engineered and presided over the greatest persecution of the Catholic Church in Ireland since the penal laws.
A tame Padre had been found to preside over the obsequys.
He was Michael Noonan's brother Snodgrass.
Father Snodgrass welcomed the members of the Irelands atheistic Marxian anti Catholic Fine Gael Labour government to his Church.
He conducted the ceremony with pious plush bottomed crassly hypopcritical aplomb.
Father Snodgrass did not once mention Fine Gael and the Labour Party's closure of the Vatican Embassy. Father Snodgrass did not once mention Fine Gael and the Labour Party's anti Catholic lies in parliament where Prime Minister Enda Kenny, a weak vascillatory vapid vacuous hairstyle of a man, claimed falsely maliciously and malignly that the Vatican had obstructed the Irish govenment's enquiries into child abuse scandals, and was then completely unable to substantiate his false malicious and malign lie, because, er, well, it was a lie. Father Snodgrass did not once mention the Fine Gael Labour Party purchase using massive public borrowings of Ruairi Quinn's brother's worthless gangster bank. Father Snodgrass did not once mention atheistic Marxist Ruairi Quinn's attempts to seize control of Catholic secondary schools. Father Snodgrass did not once mention Fine Gael Minister Alan Shatter's attempts to intrude through legislation into the Catholic ceremony of Confession. (Neither Hitler nor Stalin ever attempted what Alan Shatter is attempting.) Father Snodgrass did not mention Fine Gael and Labour's encouragement of a police attempt to smear Bishop Boyce by investigating the Bishop for hate crimes when the Bishop committed the grievous crime of stating the bleeding obvious by saying there was a campaign of vilification underway towards the Catholic Church. I kid you not. The cops investigated the Bishop for saying this. The cops forwarded a file to the Department of Public Prosecution seeking to prosecute Bishop Boyce for hate crimes. The identity of the Police Officer responsible for this outrage has been concealed by Fine Gael and Labour. Of course it has. Father Snodgrass made no mention at Mick Noonan's wife's funeral in a Catholic Church of any matter relating to the ongoing culture war against the Catholic Church, being conducted by Fine Gael, the Labour Party, and shadowy figures styling themselves atheistic humanists, lurking in the shadows of the pseudo elites of the Irish Civil Service, Media and Judiciary.
He probably didn't think that sort of stuff was relevant.
I wonder what Mrs Noonan would have thought.

book review

Can I Stay In The Catholic Church. By Father Brian Lennon, SJ. Published by Columba Press, 2012.

No. You can go. The light shining from you was dazzling the rest of us.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

sub terranean divine mercy conference blues

Ireland's greatest living poet ensconced among two thousand religious nutters at the Divine Mercy Conference in Dublin.
A protestant gentleman called David Pawson is holding forth on the platform.
He is a television evangelist of modest fame.
His intonation is novel.
He speaks with a marvellous cultured Brit accent.
But every now and then his voice becomes overwhelmed with emotion and goes like Minnie Mouse.
The effect is most surrealistic.
I am sitting there listening.
David Pawson is talking about forgiveness.
I become a bit uncomfortable.
He keeps talking about forgiveness.
Now I'm very uncomfortable.
It's all hitting a bit too close to the bone.
"Oh Lord no," I murmur.
David Pawson recalls meeting a woman in a wheelchair whose body was almost immobilised with arthritis.
He says he felt moved to ask her who it was she couldn't forgive and that she hissed at him in a voice dripping with venom that it was her brother.
He warns us that we shouldn't think arthritis is always caused by unforgiveness.
Then he insists that sometimes it is.
I groan.
I groan because I know.
At one stage when I was really furious with Arabs and Muslims, I woke unable to walk.
And the thought was clear in my mind that my immobility was caused by hate.
I ain't got no proof bold readers.
But there it is.
And as I'm listening to David Pawson, I'm still groaning because it feels like he's talking to me.
I've got more resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness than I know what to do with.
Now David Pawson is talking about a prayer gathering he held in England where he informed a group of English people that some of the leading Nazis had accepted Jesus after World War Two.
David Pawson had asserted to that group that even General Keitel number three in the Reich had sought forgiveness and had been given it.
And when he'd told the prayer meeting this, a woman had started to cry uncontrollably, finally exclaiming: "I am Keitel's daughter. I have been running away from my own name all my life."
And David Pawson is recounting this in Dublin.
Occasionally sounding like Minnie Mouse when he gets a bit emotional.
And I'm groaning the whole way through.
Because I know.
Everything he's saying about forgiveness.
Is true.

the russian theft of ukraine

Russian President Vladimir Putin's attempts to drag Russia back to a Sovietised Cold War posture by subverting free nations on its borders are reaching a new zenith this week as his KGB operatives move to copperfasten the reconquest of the free independent nation of Ukraine by jailing on trumped up charges Julia Timoshenko, the legitimate President of that country..
The new Russian conquest of Ukraine has been carried out by the foulest subterfuge.
An ethnic Russian gangster has been appointed President of Ukraine using gerrymandered electoral results.
The legitimate President of Ukraine Ms Julia Timoshenko has been spuriously thrown in jail after a circus like show trial.
The Russian KGB has long experience of stealing elections in this way.
Why on earth would anyone think they'd stopped doing it now?
An ethnic Russian gangster has been deemed to have won the Ukrainian elections. This in a country that has sought for five centuries to break the link with Russia.
It's not rocket science.
So President Putin is laughing all his way to World War Three.
By the way, Putin is President of Russia in all but name and I insist on referring to him as such.
I have done so throughout the proxy presidency of Dmitri Medvedev.
Putin's actions in Ukraine do indeed amount to yet another coup d'etat.
(His other recent coups d'etat involve mass assassinations in Poland, gerrymanderings in Belarus and the sponsorship and imposition of separatist break away regions in Georgia.)
Putin's coup against Ukraine began with the gerrymandered elections a few months ago which resulted in the aforementioned ethnic Russian gangster Mr Yanukovich being appointed President of Ukraine.
The final seal on this renewed Russian theft of the Ukrainian nation has come with the imprisonment this week of the aforementioned rightful President of Ukraine Miss Julia Timoshenko.
The trumped up charges against Miss Timoshenko were particularly egregious.
The charges falsely claimed she had encouraged improper ties with Russia in paying an excessive price to the Russians for winter gas supplies.
The irony is screaming.
You see how the KGB works?
She is being imprisoned by Russia's agents in Ukraine.
But the false charges against her accuse her of betraying Ukraine to Russia.
Can you smell the sulphur?
President Putin's government joined the European Union this week in criticising the imprisonment of Miss Timoshenko.
This is Putin's idea of covering his tracks.
It fools no one with even a modicum of analytical intellect.
But it fools everyone in CNN, Sky News and the United Nations.
These fools are the fools who want to be fooled.
So after a bare decade of freedom, Ukraine has been reabsorbed into Putin's resovietised Russia.
And lo!
United States President Barack Obama has just announced that he will work with Mr Putin if Mr Putin becomes President of Russia for a third time.
There was no need for an announcement Barack.
We knew it all along.
As did Putin.


(First published Oct 2011)