The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, December 12, 2015

trump's critics

Amid all the attempts by bankrupt or State funded media groups (CNN, the BBC et al) and conformist, establishment or leftist politicians (Lyndsey Graham, Jeb Bush, Hillary Clinton et al) to label Donald Trump a fascist, perhaps the most hilarious statement came from a Saudi princeling called Alwaleed Bin Talal.
Alwaleed stated: "Mr Trump you are a disgrace to America. Resign from the election as you will not win."
Ah yes. Political debate Saudi style.
The princeling says "get out" and you go.
Not how we do things here.
Not yet anyway.
Personally I would say being called a disgrace by a Saudi princeling is one of the greatest honours a human being could receive.
But don't just take my word for it.
A little broader context is in order.
Alwaleed Bin Talal is reputed to have a personal fortune of 32 billion dollars which he earned by being born into the Saudi royal family. He announced a few months ago that he intends to donate his entire fortune to charity. Hopefully not a Mosque building charity, eh Alwaleed.
Saudi Arabia has exported Wahabbi Islam around the world through a system of sponsored Mosques in every country on every continent.
Saudi Arabia does not allow its citizens to be Christian or to convert to Christianity or to build churches in any form.
It is illegal in Saudi Arabia for women to drive cars or to walk in public unaccompanied by a male relative. This week the Saudis allowed women to vote in local elections for the first time ever.
During a fire at a girl's school in Saudi Arabia several years ago, police beat fleeing teenage girls back into the burning building because they were not fully clothed.
Fifteen of the girls burned to death.
You know when you think of it, Donald Trump has shown great restraint in all these matters.
As have we all.
That's changing.

Friday, December 11, 2015

today they said

Bill O'Reilly (Fox News presenter): "Mr Trump your plan to temporarily ban Muslims from entering the United States will alienate precisely those Muslim nations we most need in our fight against Isis."

James Healy: "We need to fight our own battles Mr O'Reilly. What you call Muslim nations are up to their necks in Jihad. Pakistan created the Taliban as a proxy against India. Isis was created by the Turks as a proxy against Kurdistan. Every Jihad franchise from the Taliban to Isis to the Muslim Brotherhood to Al Qaeda, is merely the modern incarnation of the cult of the assassins within Islam. We are up against it Mr O'Reilly. We are not winning this war because we have not yet begun to fight. Mr Trump at least is taking the gloves off. The conventional pseudo pieties of liberalism will not cover this Mr O'Reilly. Muslims can and should be prevented from travelling here just as Nazis and Stalinist Communists were once so prevented. There is no inherent right for anyone to in-migrate to our countries. And the threat to our civilisation from Jihad is as great as anything the Nazis or Communists ever devised. As of this moment Jihad is operating on the same planetary scale as Nazism and Communism once did. Its ambition to conquer all is identical to that of Nazism and Communism. Planes are falling into the ocean, Mr O'Reilly because Muslim pilots and maintenance crews are downing them. Ships are sinking because Muslims are scuppering them. Trains are crashing because Muslims are sabotaging them. People are being shot to death in schools, theatres and restaurants in America, France and Russia because Muslim Jihadis are targetting schools, theatres and restaurants all over the world in order to assert the master race supremacy of Islam. Muslims are waging permanent mass casualty Jihad against Israel (in order to exterminate Israel), against China (in order to detach Xinjiang from China), against India (in order to secede Kashmir), against Russia, in order to secede the Caucasus), against Thailand (in order to secede southern Thailand), and against the Philippines (in order to secede the island of Mindanao and other islands); Muslims are waging continental wide Jihad across Africa (in an attempt to erase all traces of non Muslim culture in Africa): And Muslims are waging an increasingly open and all out Jihad against the Free World, ie America, Canada, Britain, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, and Western Europe in a blatent bid for total power through the enslavement of the last bastions of liberty on earth.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel: "The State of Israel does not agree with Mr Trump's intention to ban Muslims from entering the United States."

James Healy: "So presumably Mr Netanyahu you'll be leading by example and allowing a right of return to the five million Palestinians massed in refugee camps on your borders who wish to return to their family homes within Israel."

Prime Minister Enda Kenny of Ireland: "The Irish people do not agree with Trump's views."

James Healy: "Did you look into your own heart to find out that one Enda? Let me know how the Irish people feel after the next election. Better yet. We'll let you know."

runaway train in boston

The incident involving a runaway train on Boston's light railway (known as The T) yesterday, looks to me like an attempted terrorist attack.
Is it possible that someone would deliberately rigged a train to go out of control with fifty passengers on board in an attempt to cause death, mayhem, panic and chaos on the suburban Red Line?
The driver exited his cab, claiming afterwards to have been keying in an over ride code to a faulty signal box.
There were fifty people still on the train when the driver exited.
Its control column is designed so that the train will not operate without the pressure of a driver's hand but in this instance the safety measures built into the train had been disabled apparently with a cord of some kind.
The driver claimed that the train "brushed him" as it careered out of the station.
He has checked himself into hospital supposedly with minor injuries.
The runaway train was stopped after transport technicians cut the electric power on the  route's third rail.
Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker publically stated that the alterations to the train's control stick which caused it to careen from the station out of control were a clear case of "tampering."
After its power was cut the train coasted through another four stations according to reports from the scene, before coming to a halt.
Yesterday's incident is the latest in a series of derailments and deaths on the T system over the past two years.

Delenda est jihadis

Thursday, December 10, 2015


armies were marching
through the low lands in winter
when she ran through the fields
to her only love

bleak were the hedgerows
the fastnesses lonely
the wind took their whispering
and gave it the wilds

the wilds took their whispering
and made it a song
of dreams that are broken
and dreams yet to be

her footsteps returned
to the place of her growing
and she slept like an angel
though armies were marching

blame it on the weatherman

Some 500 years ago Muslim armies encircled Byzantium the richest country on earth,
Byzantium was also considered by many to be the centre of Christendom.
A legend claims that while the Muslims readied their slaughterers for an invasion, the rulers of Byzantium held a conference.
The conference discussed:
1. What colour were the virgin Mary's eyes?
2. How many angels can fit on the head of a pin?
The Muslims took that country and in a few years turned it into the hole in the wall that is Turkey.
From the richest country in Christendom to Turkey in a few short Islamic steps.
Where do we sign up for that?
I always wondered did Byzantium fall because it had somehow turned its back on God. Although nominally Christian, it is said to have become grotesquely dissolute and corrupt. Its people worshipped money and sex and pleasure and themselves.
Remind you of anyone?
By the way, the notion that the Byzantines debated the colour of the BVM's eyes as an invasion force menaced their homes and their land, is occasionally cited approvingly by those who wish to sneer at the Catholic Church.
But so far no one has found any evidence that such a discussion ever really took place in the High Councils of Byzantium,
It's an apochryphal story.
Still it came back to me this week.
As the worldwide Muslim Al Qaeda terror army continues to mass on our borders, the leaders of the world's sovereign nations have gathered in Paris, to discuss... the possibility of controlling the weather.

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

if we'd had cnn and amnesty international and the un's human rights watch to show us how to conduct conflicts in a humanitarian manner during world war two

1938: "Germany has annexed Austria. It appears the German Nazi government is led by one Adolf Hitler. (Two Adolf Hitlers would have been absurd.) It is also clear that not all Germans are Nazis so we should continue to allow open immigration into Britain and America for Germans. We should also label as racist anyone who thinks we should go to war with Germany. It is not clear when Adolf Hitler became radicalised. This is Wolf Blitzer for CNN."

1939: "Germany has annexed Czechoslovakia. Clearly not all Germans are in favour of the move. Only a small percentage of Germans are actually Nazis so anyone advocating putting a stop to German expansion is a racist. The Nazi Gestapo is led by one Heinrich Himmler. (Two Heinrich Himmlers etc etc.) It's not clear when Himmler became radicalised. There is some talk of removing him in a surgical air strike but there are fears that any such attempt would only lead more Germans to become radicalised, thereby worsening an already perilous situation. I'm Anderson Cooper for CNN."

1939: "Germany has partitioned Poland with Soviet Russia. Nonetheless we must have open boarders in the west. It is imperative that we stick to our values and allow any Germans or Russians who wish to live in our countries to simply move here. Not all Germans are Nazis and not all Russians are Communists. We must let them move here if they want to. Anything else would be racist. I'll punch on the nose anyone who says we should restrict immigration or who tries to label all Germans as Nazis. I'm Geraldo Rivera, CNN, well Fox News actually but you see how deep this runs."

1940: "German panzer divisions have over run France using tanks and planes in a style of warfare known as blitzkrieg. We'll have more on that later. The German tank armies are led by Von Mannstein, He is believed to have been radicalised by Nazi propagandists within the last ten years. Prime Minister Chamberlain is looking for a way to target Mannstein in a surgical strike to avoid killing innocent tank crews who may not even be Nazis. It is clear that not all Germans are Nazis."

1941: "The Luftwaffe currently obliterating Britain from the air is led by one Hermann Goering. (Not two?) He is believed to have been radicalised during the 1930's. The British are no longer shooting down German planes because not all Germans are Nazis. Instead Prime Minister Chamberlain is looking for a way to target Goering in a surgical strike. Fox News Commentator has warned the British people not to appoint Winston Churchill as Prime Minister, "Churchill has racist views about defeating Germany," said Geraldo. "He thinks all Germans are Nazis If I met him I'd punch him on the nose."

1941: "Germany has launched a surprise attack styled Operation Barbarossa on Russia. Human Rights Watch and the UN have urged Russia to avoid over reacting. "It is clear at this stage that not all the invading army are Nazis," warned UN Secretary General Bank Ki Moon, "We urge all sides to return to the negotiating table."

1941. "The German Sixth Army has captured Stalingrad. The Sixth army is led by a Nazi called Von Paulus. It is believed Von Paulus was radicalised after Hitler came to power. Repeated attempts to target Von Paulus in a surgical strike have not been successful."

1941: "This morning Imperial Japan has attacked America in a sneak attack on Pearl Harbour aimed at decimating the American navy in its Pacific harbour. We hasten to add that not all Japanese are Imperialists. Germany has also now officially declared war on the United States. We wish to make it clear that not all Germans have declared war on the US. It is imperative that we figure out who is a Nazi and who isn't. Perhaps young Germans could be given good paying jobs to stop them becoming radicalised. We at CNN believe that the most important thing is that we avoid any over reaction or backlash against ordinary Germans or Japanese. In the wake of the Pearl Harbour attack, President Roosevelt wishes to intern Japanese Americans as potential spies but this must be resisted by all decent people. Perhaps some limited monitoring of Japanese nationals in the US by the FBI may be acceptable but only if the Supreme Court says it's okay. Internment of Hirohito's American spy network and their wives and families is out of the question. It is against the Constitution and against our values. Geraldo Rivera wouldn't hear of it. Not all Japanese are bad. It is not clear when Emperor Hirohito was radicalised. Probably only recently after attending a sushi festival in Osaka city where he ate some bad clams. The Pentagon may attempt to target Hirohito in a surgical airstrike. Amnesty International has pointed out that not all Japanese are Emperor Hirohito. "There's only one of him," stated Amnesty International Chief Libby Fembo in a deposition to Congress. "You must not kill innocent Japanese just because a few red necks want revenge for Pearl Harbour."

1942: "The Afrika Korps under Field Marshall Erwin Rommel has conquered the continent of Africa. British General Bernard Montgomery Law has complained that Allied rules of engagement meant he wasn't allowed to fire on German tanks unless he was sure all the drivers were Nazis. This sounds like sour grapes to us at CNN. The only acceptable answer to the Afrika Korps is to target Rommel in a surgical strike. Other than that we call on the Allies to surrender to dark Islamic night. Er, I mean the Nazis."

1943: "Germany's greatest tank commander Von Mannstein has conquered all Russia. It is still not possible to estimate how many of his tank drivers are actually Nazis. So the Russians have been rightly restricted by Amnesty International, the UN, and CNN, to trying to remove Von Mannstein himself in a surgical strike. These are the civilised days of 1943 when indiscriminate bombing is no longer acceptable."

1943: "Radical SS commander Reinhard Heydrich has announced the complete elimination of Jews, Gypsies and Polish people from Europe. Heydrich is believed to have been radicalised during the Munich Beer Festival when he fell in with radical CNN Imams. I mean Nazis. Attempts to remove him in a surgical strike are expected to continue for the near future."

1944: "The D Day landings have been repelled in ferocious fighting by Field Marshall Rommel who has so far evaded all attempts to surgically remove him. The attempted Allied landings in France were spear headed by indiscriminate bombings of civilians. CNN is calling for Allied leaders to be impeached for War Crimes under a tribunal to be led by Michael Moore."

1945 "Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan have conquered America and Britain and the planet earth. All Hail our new Nazi Imperialist overlords. Although you can't say they're all Nazis or Imperialists because that would make you a racist. Allah U Akbar. This is Erin Burnett for CNN. I'm sexier than Katie Tur and just as politically correct. Over and out."

1945: "Germany has conquered the world. Chancellor Hitler accepted the joint surrender from Prime Minister Chamberlain and incoming US President Barack Obama. President Obama took the opportunity to point out that World War Two was in fact caused by the actions of his predecessor President Roosevelt and by the British for having an empire. "President Roosevelt lied, people died," asserted Mr Obama in his most delightful declamatory tones. "Hey Mr Roosevelt, 1915 called. It wants its foreign policy back." Mr Obama received a standing ovation from all the journalists, Nazis and Muslims present for the surrender. We at CNN would like to applaud President Obama's insight on this matter. President Obama finished his surrender speech with a short poem which summed up the feelings of us all:
"See the happy Muslim.
He doesn't give a damn,
I wish I were a Muslim.
My God, perhaps I am.
I mean Nazis."
CNN would like to take this opportunity to welcome our new Muslim overlords. Jihaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad."

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

heelers aunt

On the phone to my American Aunt.
"Well Aunt, people seem to be waking up about terrorism. What's going on?"
"People are afraid," sez the aunt.
"Yes, but why did they get afraid now? I've been talking for fifteen years about the worldwide Muslim terror army at war with all humanity and you didn't want to hear it. What's so special about the latest attacks?"
"It's easy to disregard you James. It's not so easy when we're seeing it every day on our TV screens. We don't know who to trust. Our President is telling us to continue as usual and to not be afraid. James who can we trust?"
The noble Heelers pauses for a moment to pick out the top three.
"You can trust Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, and me," I tell her finally.

Delenda est Jihadis.

Monday, December 07, 2015

the confederacy of dunces

Within hours of my gentle satire on the weather reporting style of one Teresa Mannion (two Teresa Mannions would have been ridiculous) the Irish television station, RTE, is claiming that her reports on a winter storm in Ireland have "gone viral around the globe." By globe presumably they mean the planet earth and not Teresa Mannion's head. This evening RTE is quoting Teresa Mannion as being "gobsmacked" at the sensational response to her, er, sensational reporting of an ordinary Irish winter rain storm. But then Teresa Mannion is clearly gobsmacked by everything. A few rain drops and she sees a sort of secular apocalypse. One that doesn't involve God telling us to stop murdering unborn babies through abortion, to stop murdering the elderly through euthanasia, and to stop murdering everyone else through assisted suicide. God is so passe, eh Teresa Mannion. Your apocalypse comes from Gaia, the planet earth herself, telling us all to accept sovietism or else it'll rain some more. Teresa Mannion gobsmacked indeed. By the way, on this blog she's known as Maisie Baines. As is everyone else I couldn't be bothered making up a good name for. Best quote from yesterday's Maisie storm reportage: "Storm Desmond is only the fourth named storm in Irish history." Yes Maisie. Because you and the weather soviets have only started naming them last year in an attempt to make Irish people think the climate is changing. You lovable goons. It's all climate change isn't Maisie? Right back to Noah's ark. Meanwhile there is absolutely no reportage in Western Europe of discredited Climate Change scientist Michael Mann's attempts to criminalise the whistle blowing commentator Mark Steyn in the American courts with a libel action now entering its fourth year. It's the biggest story on earth aside from the Jihad. Irish, British and European media groups are simply ignoring it. Ironically enough the Jihadis themselves were the last ones to attempt to silence Steyn with a frivolous court action aimed at labelling him a racist and having his writings banned. This story too was for a time the biggest story on earth. And it was also roundly ignored in Europe. Which is why European media groups are ALL bankrupt, and are all surviving on state subsidies from our corrupt corporatist quango governments. I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.

Sunday, December 06, 2015

the bitch 6

From the Heelers emails...

Rowena Baines to James:
You wrote a few days ago on your blog: "Rowena Baines tells me I can no longer say bitch. That's why we've been celebrating bitch week on the Heelers Diaries. I needed time to say goodbye."
Heelers you don't seem to be saying goodbye to that word at all.

Heelers to Bainesy:
I'm not saying goodbye to the word. I'm saying goodbye to you Rowena.

a sledgehammer runs through it

(being a short satire on the reporting style of RTE Ireland's Bolshevick IRA infiltrated state run monopoly television and radio broadcaster)

"I'm Maisie Baines reporting live from a field in Leitrim. The rain is falling. The rain is falling incessantly. It's, it's, it's... torrential. Oh it must be climate change. It may seem indistinguishable from every other Irish winter in the past five thousand years but to me it looks like climate change. It must be climate change. I just sort of sense it, you know. The rain, the rain. It's falling mainly, er, on the plain. Woman that is. We're dealing with climate change for sure. I have a feeling in my water. The rain is falling on the houses. It's getting on everything. There's, there's puddles everywhere. Oh the humanity. It's time to sovietise the world so that we can control the rain and prevent more climate change. Oh lumme. I'm wet;"

results of the heelers enquiry into generalised corruption in the irish banking industry

(ie Answers to questions not asked in the official government enquiry into the Irish banking collapse.)

Question 1. Was Anglo Irish Bank a controlled front for the IRA mafia whose parliamentary proxies are the Sinn Fein political party?
Answer: Yes.

Question 2. Was the collapse of Anglo Irish Bank an IRA bank job involving the looting of the bank through the issuance of illegal billion dollar loans to IRA agents posing as businessmen, primarily Sean Quinn and his mobster family, and afterwards the looting of the Irish government treasury through corrupt parliamentarians in the Fianna Fail political party and their successors in the present Fine Gael Labour coalition, in order to conceal what was an institutionalised burgarisation and not a banking collapse at Anglo Irish Bank?
Answer: Yes.

Question 3: Did the IRA subvert Ireland's three major mainstream political parties Fianna Fail, Fine Gael and Labour through targetted infiltration and bribery in order to sign up the Irish people to paying the IRA's bank debts at Anglo Irish Bank thereby putting the entire country in the Third World overnight and saddling the entire population of Ireland with an unrepayable debt for the next hundred years?
Answer: Yes.