The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, September 21, 2019

our television listings

(The Irish national fraudcaster, finaced by compulsory taxation on the peasantry who must pay the government 200 quid a year for RTE whether they watch, it disapprove of it, despise it, excoriate it, or not. Joe Stalin would be so proud. The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.)

9.00 Friends. Vintage comedy show about young New Yorkers, starring Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Louise Brooks, Mary Pickford, and Theda Barra. Lucille Ball does a nice turn as Janice.
9.30 Morning News. Left wing propagandist take on reality. Read by Chairman Mao.
10.00 Rugby World Cup. Home movies from the RTE sports department's winter holiday on my dime in Japan.
12.00 Midday News. Soporific left wing version of reality. Read by Ho Chi Minh.
1.00 States Of Fear. Documentary exploring a Stalinist television station's use of public funds in attempting to slander the Catholic Church out of existence.
3.00 Grease. Movie. Starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. Light hearted musical romp where middle aged actors get their kicks by dressing up as teenagers. The plot thickens when real teenagers start trying to dress like the middle aged actors.
5.00 Murder She Wrote. Jessica discovers Sheriff Teasle is a werewolf.
6.00 Evening News. Comatose interpretation of reality. Read by Mobuto Sese Seko.
7.00 Climate Change The Facts. Usual heap of lies about purely made up climate change.
8.00 The Handmaid's Tale. Film. Based on Canadian author Margaret Atwood's searing autobiographical expose of militant feminism and the direct involvement of the feminist movement in the propagation of abortion, euthanasia and assisted suicide.
9.00 Night Time News. The night time news is that RTE is as awful at  night as it is at every other hour of the day. Read by Pol Pot.
10.00 Garda Patrol. Reports of latest scandals involving Ireland's individually and institutionally corrupt police force.
11.00 PrimeTime. Experimental aversion therapy show featuring repeated unwanted close ups of presenter Miriam O'Callaghan's thighs. After this you will never stare at a woman's legs again. Maybe the cameraman is in love with her. Guaranteed to turn you into a breast man.
12.00 The Late Late Show. Wearisome, viewerless, pifflesque chat show, a staple on RTE for 50 years, currently presented by satrap Ryan Tubridy who inherited a job in RTE by virtue of being born into the Andrews family dynasty. (The family has kingpin associations with various political parties primarily Fianna Fail but also with the IRA mafia's proxy party Sinn Fein) Special guest tonight is Dee Forbes, Director General of RTE, who will be explaining how a television station which receives half a billion dollars from the Irish people every year regardless of whether anyone watches it (or not) could still somehow be dirt broke. Perhaps Ryan Tubridy's million dollar salary for presenting a progamme with no viewers has something to do it.
1.00 The Sean Quinn Comedy Half Hour: Stand up comedy with veteran IRA mafia capo bank robbing embezzler fraud Sean Quinn in which he explains why he shouldn't be held accountable for ordering his IRA mobsters to pull out Kevin Lunney's fingernails. "You can't hold me accountable for the torn out fingernails, the multiple stabbings, the broken leg, the slashes to the face, the beating to a pulp of Kevin Lunney," quips the inimitable Quinn. "I ordered them to kill him."
1.30 Closedown. I wish they really would close it down. I'm tired paying Marxist atheist abortionists to insult my church.

Friday, September 20, 2019

opportunity knocks

Sits Vac
(our job search column)

FEATURE WRITER - The Irish Times has a vacancy for a feature writer. Must be daughter of atheistic abortionist Irish Times journalist Andy Pollak and RTE presenter Doreen O'Brien. The right candidate for this position will have full competence in having the first name Sorcha. No time wasters.

HEAD OF PROGRAMME COMMISSIONING RTE - The Irish national fraudcaster, RTE, has a vacancy for a head of programme commissioning. Must be husband of current RTE presenter Miriam O'Callaghan and must have formerly been in charge of Miriam O'Callaghan's "independent" production company Snodgrass Features. Would be an advantage for any candidate to have previous experience of selling programmes to RTE presented by Miriam O'Callaghan while Miriam O'Callaghan was already working for a huge salary at RTE. Candidate must have extensive experience of Miriam O'Callaghan's home life, must know where she's ticklish, how many cats she's got, etc etc. Not being Miriam O'Callaghan's husband will disqualify.

JOURNALIST - The Irish Times has a vacancy for a journalist. Candidate must be an unaborted daughter of former Irish Times contributor atheistic abortionist Mary Holland and infamous IRA apologist Eamon McCann. Must be able to comment on Irish political situation while keeping a straight face and not revealing she's in bed with the Rah. Successful candidate will preferably have a name that rhymes with shitty.

AFTERNOON PRESENTER - RTE is seeking a new presenter for its horse racing coverage. Candidates must be a daughter of current RTE presenter Ted Walsh. Canvassing will disqualify. (Unless you're Ted Walsh's daughter.)

POLITICAL COMMENTATOR - The Irish Times is searching for a replacement political feature writer for Nuala O'Faoileain who has died. Nuala O'Faoileain died in 2008 but we've only noticed. The suitable candidate will be the lover, as Nuala was, of the late feminist, atheistic abortionist, IRA apologist Nell McCafferty. Must be able to keep a straight face while shamelessly slandering the Catholic church without mentioning your mutual masturbation activities with Nell McCafferty. Must also keep a straight face while commenting on Irish politics and at no time reveal she too is in bed with the Rah. The position is open only to candidates fulfilling all requirements. That is to say the position is open solely to Nuala O'Faoileain's ghost or Nell McCafferty's ghost. No other candidates need apply.

HEAD OF POGROMMING - The Irish Independent has a vacancy in Zektor Sieben Gah for a new atheistic, abortionist, anti Catholic errkkkkkkkkk... (That's enough vacancies - Ed note.)

Thursday, September 19, 2019

boeing boeing

Late last year in the month of October, the flight computer on a Lion Air Boeing 737 Max passenger jet crashed the plane into the ground killing all 189 people on board.
In March this year the flight computer on an Ethiopian airlines Boeing 737 Max passenger jet crashed the plane into the ground killing all 157 people on board.
After the second incident I suggested that investigators should be asking whether Jihadis or other secret brotherhoods of evil, in the flight maintenance crews were blocking computer sensors on the surface of the aircraft in order to commit mass murder.
Boeing corporation management decided to head off any such speculations, fearing I believe that they could never be proven, and that their only hope in seeking to save their mortally wounded Boeing brand name, was to end all such speculations forthwith by accepting the blame themselves, ie by stating that they themselves were to responsible for the crashes via a design flaw in the computer system of the Boeing 737 Max passenger jet.
Majeed Marouf Ahmed Alani has appeared in an American federal court this week on charges of deliberately disabling computer sensors on an American Airlines jet in July 2019.
He is an airline mechanic for American Airlines and is claiming that he sabotaged the jet in order to protest about his pay and conditions.
He had attempted to down the jet liner and murder its passengers and crew by spraying coagulant foam over the computer sensors on the plane.
His attempt failed because the pilots spotted the faulty sensor readings and aborted take off of the flight.
He has been caught with propaganda material and execution videos for the Muslim terror group Isis in his possession.
His brother is a member of Isis.
I rest my case.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

the saudi enigma

The Iranian government has for more than a decade sought to bring hot war to the Arabian peninsula.
The motivations are mixed.
Pure spite explains a lot of it.
Oil rich Saudi Arabia has delivered a comparatively peaceful, prosperous and free life to its citizens.
The similarly oil rich Iran has, since the Mullahs took over in 1979, delivered impoverishment, pariah status, dictatorship, and a permanent enmity with the rest of the world to its starving people.
So yes there is significant spite in what the Iranian government did this week in launching unprovoked bomb attacks on Saudi, forcing the instant shut down of half of its oil production facilities in one day of sneak attacks.
Pure spite, envy, jealousy, is enough to explain the attacks.
But there is more.
The Iranian government is no longer confident that it can rule its own people through fear indefinitely.
In this sense, the Mullahs need another war.
To distract the people and to remotivate them.
But there's still more.
The government of Iran has long coveted Saudi Arabia as real estate.
Saudi has things the Iranian government wants.
Saudi Arabia is at the centre of Islamic history and culture.
Saudi Arabia is home to the two of the holiest cities of Islam, Medina and Mecca.
As the Iranian government sees it, who owns Saudi Arabia owns Islam.
There is also the prime motivating factor that up until recently, Saudi Arabia possessed fully 50 percent of the world's known oil reserves.
Getting your hands on that little caboodle just might help pay a few bills for any would be empire builder.
Iran in certain periods has itself possessed up to ten percent of known world oil reserves which should still have been enough for any barely competent government to deliver a good life to its people.
Iran's wealth has been squandered by the Mullahs' economic mismanagement, their constant engagement and advocacy in international terrorism, their permanent warfare against various neighbours, their genocidal ambitions against Israel, their perpetual self indulgently infantile enmity towards free countries such as America and Britain, and their maintenance of proxy armies such as Hezbollah in South Lebanon and Hamas in the Gaza Strip.
The hubris of Iran's ruling pseudo elite gives us the sole reason Iran is poor and despised by her neighbours.
By contrast, the honorable stewardship and integrity of the Saudi Royal Family gives us the reason Saudi Arabia is wealthy, stable and at peace.
From the Iranian Mullahs point of view, all that stands between the government of Iran and the subversion or outright conquest of Saudi Arabia is the rulership of Saudi by the Saudi Royal Family.
If they're gone the Mullahs believe that Iran will be the dominant power in Arabia and thereby in the Muslim World generally.
The Saudi Royal Family is one of the world's two most famous monarchies, the other being the British Royal Family.
The Saudi Royal Family has been in a leadership role on the Arabian peninsula since the 1700s and is much more hands on in the running of their country than the Brit Royals. The Saudi Royal Family established the modern Saudi Arabian State in the early 1930s.
During the modern period, the Saudi Royal Family has steered their country through the Second World War, through the Russian Communist attempt to take over the world in the Cold War, and through the current period wherein Al Qaeda, Isis and the Muslim Brotherhood are attempting to hijack Islam itself through a Jihad War against the human race.
Saudi Arabia has also remained comparatively peaceful, stable and prosperous in spite of repeated attempts by Iran's government to foment hot war on the Arabian peninsula in the past decade through terrorism generally, through the instigation of unrest from 2011 to 2014 in Bahrain, and through civil war in Yemen from 2015 to the present.
It was Yemen's Houthi tribe who provided the fig leaf of plausible deniability for this week's Iranian attack on Saudi Arabia.
They fooled no one.
It remains in recognising the Saudi's cultural, economic and diplomatic achievements to note that a massive oil reserve does not necessarily bring about positive outcomes. A massive oil discovery in Venezuela in South America during the past two decades means that Venezuela has recently become custodian of 50 percent of the World's known oil reserves, a title formerly held by Saudi Arabia.
What has this limitless oil wealth meant for Venezuela?
In a few short years of Command Control Communism, pockmarked by alliances with Putin's Russia. and with the Chinese Communist Party, the Venezuelans have entirely impoverished their country.
So clearly it is possible to have half the world's oil wealth (as in Venezuela) or 10 percent of it (as in Iran) and through mismanagement, incompetence, adventurism, psychoticism and perpetual war mongering, to render your country utterly desolate.
Compare those countries with Saudi Arabia.
Then compare other countries in the region.
All across North Africa, there has been unrest, civil war, terrorism, impoverishing affiliations to Russia and China, and or direct communist dictatorship for half a century.
The Middle East is little better.
Syria has just had another bout of civil war with Iran participating to uphold its vassal, the Assad government.
Lebanon has been mired in adventurist wars, civil wars, terrorism and foreign occupation with Iran again participating in all these blood soaked games through its proxy army Hezbollah in South Lebanon and through its vassal Syria when Lebanon was under direct Syrian occupation up to 2005.
Even Turkey has for decades been engaged in permanent civil war with its Kurdish minority. Some analysts believe that Turkey's Islamist President Erdogan covets Saudi Arabia as much as the Iranians do. It's a rough neighbourhood.
Iran's nearest contiguous neighbour Iraq has also been engaged in constant adventurist wars for fifty years, first under the original Soviet client despot Saddam Hussein who fought Iran itself for eight years in the 1980s killing a million people, and then invaded Kuwait to try and balance his books, killing hundreds of thousands more. After the removal of Saddam Hussein at the behest of the American President George Bush in 2004, Iraq continued to experience upheavals through a sea of domestic terrorism with the Iranians, terrified a free democracy was emerging courtesy of George Bush on their borders, actively participating in seeking to sabotage the American liberation of that country. There was further mayhem for Iraq when an appeasement minded American President Barack Obama became discouraged by Iran's sabotage of nascent Iraqi democracy and withdrew all American troops overnight. Thus was left clear the way for a new invasion of Iraq out of Syrian territory by an Al Qaeda, Isis, Muslim Brotherhood army which unleashed a storm of blood letting and torture across the plains of Nineveh unsurpassed since the time of Genghis Khan.
On Iran's far border Pakistan has had three wars with India and counting.
Afghanistan before American liberation was the basket case that brought us Nine Eleven.
This is the neighbourhood.
Amid all this I would contend that the Saudi Royal Family and their people have made the Arabian peninsula a comparative oasis of peace, prosperity, independence and partnership with the rest of the world.
Legitimate critiques notwithstanding, we should recognise the genuine achievements of Saudi Arabia and its Royal Family.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

light relief

In the 18th century Isaac Newton defined light as a series of particles that excite the eye.
More recently scientists have claimed light is a wave.
Right now, current scientific theory asserts that light has simultaneously the properties of a wave and a particle. There is an additional current assertion by the scientific community that if light is unobserved it behaves differently to how it behaves if it is observed.
The definition does not seem very definitive.
I have suggested that light seems to have apparently contradictory properties because it is composed of several different elements present together at the same time in the same space.
Light is not one thing with contradictory properties but three distinct things sharing a moment.
In this consideration:
1. Light is an emanating energy, the wave form which when activated is instantly present (unless blocked) to the end of the universe.
2. Light is the effect of the emanating energy on a medium. The implication is either that we are surrounded by an energy field that acts as a medium for light or that space itself is a medium. If space is a medium, we might say space is something rather than nothing. Hence space can have particular characteristics. (Possessing characteristics of particles in response to the presence of an emanating energy.) The effect of emanating light energy on the medium is what gives light its appearance of particle form. A light shining from A to B creates a particle effect at point A and B and at all points in between. But nothing has travelled. No particle has travelled. The medium was already there. The medium's response to the emanating energy wave is like the response of the surface of a pond when a stone is dropped into it. The water surface takes the form of the wave. At every point on the surface of the water there is a particle of water matching the wave. But no particle of water travels from the emanating energy centre where the stone was dropped to the edge of the pond.
3. Light is a human consciousness experiencing the emanating energy and the medium's response to it.
These three necessary elements for light are distinct things not one thing with contradictory properties.
Without all three, there is no light.
We might also aver that light has no speed.
Nothing travels when light happens.
The particle that appears to travel is just the medium reacting instantaneously at every point through which the emanating light energy instantaneously passes.
A particle hasn't travelled.
The medium (whether space or an energy field) has manifested for any observer the properties of a particle simultaneously along the entire path of the instantly displaced emanating energy.
The semblance of speed, and the dysfunctional notion of a speed of light, is possible when the emanating energy is partially impeded in the medium, as it always is. (By dust motes, a wall, a planet, by wave affecting fluxes or by any intrusion or presence that can alter physically the performance of an emanating light energy.)
The notion of a speed of light is also an offshoot of our human limitations rather than a description of reality.
Conventional scientists have tended to find it difficult to imagine anything can happen instantaneously or to conceive how it might do so.
In taking any measurement we ourselves require time.
Our mental requirement for time to measure any occurrence we conceive of, and the time we or our instruments require to take such a measurement no matter how quick our reflexes or fine the instrumentation, are factors which in certain circumstances compound the myth of light having a speed.
The speed of light such as it has been ascribed is an erroneous depiction of what is correctly described as an instantaneous effect.
The speed of light has no meaning.

the crunch question

Question: Why do French people speak such heavily accented English?

Answer: Because those of us who teach English to them can't bear to change their accents. The adorable Paris woman will ask "Is zere anyzing wrong with my akson?" And I will routinely reply "Don't change a zing."