The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, September 02, 2017

quoth the raven oh come on

Picking my way on foot through precipitous traffic on the Main Street of Naas, a provincial Irish town whose name in Gaelic means Maniacal Drivers.
Well it should.
Let me be clear.
I am trying to cross the road.
The traffic is sweeping by.
Using Jedi mind techniques I reach the centre of the road.
Presently I hear a voice say: "Don't worry, just follow that man."
It's girl's voice so it can't be Obi Wan Kenobi picking the worst possible moment to advise me how to blow up Death Stars from beyond the grave again.
I turn as the cars whizz by on either side.
There is a gaggle of no less than five school girls lined up on the median strip with their attention focussed firmly on me.
I am like nothing so much as a mother hen with a brood in her wake.
A brood I never signed up for.
How on earth did they get there without getting hit?
Ruefully I shake my head.
"You picked a wrong one today girls," I tell my informal charges cheerfully. "I've been knocked down five times already this year."

Friday, September 01, 2017

the poetic manifesto

half heard melodies at dawn
dreams or the traces of dreaming
a woman's name said soft like breathing
memories of faces gone
footsteps in the hall on winter nights
sadness in the heart where love has been
softness on the fields after a storm
shadows bright with remembering

we will go
through cowardice to bravery
into the timeless eye of mind
across the ungovernable sea
to where all poems have their end
and their beginnings naturally
come with me

Thursday, August 31, 2017

valourous idylls

Midday in the city of Galway.
Coffee with Rowena in the Renmore Cafe
"Philmore and Throg aren't talking to me." I intone bleakly.
"Really?" quoth she.
"When I go into their shop they're always very busy, hurrying about, looking the other way, bending to some vital task."
"Do you know why?"
"The question is do you know why?"
"I have a fair idea."
"Could it be because they don't want me to lobby them anymore on the sanctity of life?"
"I'd say that's exactly what it is."
"So they're avoiding me."
"Are you surprised?"
"Well it's just I had a really good one that I wanted to use on them. Now it's never going to see the light of day. I was going to say: Do you mind me asking what is the profit margin on the Morning After Pill? How much do you make on every baby you kill? Is it, like, fifty pence per life? A pound? Two?"

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

differentiating atheism

The fundamental assertion of atheists is that existence, the universe, life forms, life itself, us, the capacity to think, consistencies that are deemed laws of nature, nature itself, planets, star systems, galaxies, everything we can conceive of whether chemical, biological or physical, notion, aspiration or dream, was created by an energy.
Believers in God claim that the energy did it on purpose.


Jim Hawkins approached in mellow mood
with cries of "Hey," and "Whassup Dude"
He bid me sit and listen hence
To his latest gems of intelligence
"We're genes and chemistry that is all
Richard Dawkins is on the ball
He's pulled the plug, he's called God's bluff
We're not spirits, we are stuff
And that is why we're also free
To indulge in ceaseless pagan orgies"
He continued a while in manner crude
Before bidding me a merry "See ya Dude"
And I was left to contemplate
The wilful hopelessness of the atheistic state
Our bodies enslaved, our minds pseudo free
Oh orgies are made by fools like me
And I would have added had I time to the bold Jim Hawkins
Only God can make a Richard Dawkins

Monday, August 28, 2017

one of our battleships is missing i mean two, er three, no that's four now

Two American battlships have been rammed this Summer by commercial vessels.
There was significant loss of life on the American ships in both cases.
An earlier ramming of an American warship took place in February.
A fourth American ship ran aground when entering harbour.
The events took place in the Far Eastern theatre of operations.
These things are not happening to other navies.
So we might reasonably postulate that the collisions are deliberate.
Who would do such a thing?
The North Korean regime would if it could.
The Putin regime in Russia might if Mr Putin was feeling adventurous.
A rogue cadre in the Chinese Communist Party might.
Anybody else?
There is a certain peace loving religion of Islam which is at war with all humanity and which regards the Americans as the only real threat to their agenda for World Conquest, and which kills Americans, Westerners and anybody else it deems an enemy with gay abandon at every opportunity.
Muslim Jihadis, styled under franchises such as the Muslim Brotherhood, Al Qaeda, and Isis, have the personnel in place on commercial vessels to launch ramming attacks at sea anywhere on the planet.
My opinion is that the rammings of American ships this Summer are Muslim Jihad.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

interlude on main street

"Ah Father Baines. you really got me with that sermon last week."
"Good to know I'm reaching you."
"Oh whenever you mention immigration you reach me. You can probably see me jumping in my seat. Hits very close to the bone."
"Well that's good."
"You know I've spent twenty years trying to warn people."
"Warn people about what James?"
"About Jihad Father."