The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, August 08, 2009

watching the defectives

(Heelers and the Media.)
Somebody called Crosbie who owned a minor Irish newspaper died last week. His funeral gave abundant excuse for the plush bottomed B'Staads of Irish journalistic life to parade themselves within the unaccustomed precincts of a Catholic church. The Managing Director of the Irish Times, Maeve Donovan was there, looking as if butter wouldn't melt in her abortions. The Barry political dynasty was amply represented in the ample persons of ample Peter Barry and his ample daughter Deirdre Clune who had squeezed together into a pew, bathed in the faint silver light from their halos. They had made the halos out of coat hangers and bits of tinsel. Mr Barry and his daughter, both being members of the Irish parliament, are continuing an ignoble Irish tradition whereby power is passed down through the generations. There was more ignobility on the altar. A tame Bishop had been found from somewhere (a retired Bish from America) to give the gathering a suitably elevated air. Doesn't do to have an ordinary priest officiating at the funeral of a great man. And anyway some of the Irish Bishops have gotten a little shirty about presiding at the funerals of media whoremasters whose stock in trade is persecuting the church. Yes it's impossible to get good help these days. Best to shop around when you want a Bish for your obsequiousies. I wonder what the turn out will be like when Tony O'Reilly finally pops his clogs. But I digress. A young Crosbie whelp announced from the altar: "Thank God Dad wasn't a saint." Right so. Why not hold the funeral somewhere more appropriate to what he actually was? What the hell are you people doing preening your feathers within the house of God? Might I suggest you head down the boozer for your next big send off. It would be more in keeping with who and what you are.
Non entity Matthew D'Anconia editor of The Specator (readerless) had an article in The Daily Telegraph recently. The article posed the question as to whether the latest Iraq War enquiry would finally "nail" former Prime Minister Tony Blair. This dross appeared in the supposedly right wing Daily Telegraph. And they think they're going out of business because of the internet.
Who Guards The Guardian
The Guardian has announced it may have difficulty remaining in publication in the near future. Good.
Mary Robinson's Medal Of Honour
The Irish Times has been running pass defence all this week for career fembo commie pinko Mary Robinson. The Irish Times suggests that critics of President Obama's decision to award her the Medal Of Honour consist mainly of Jewish groups. This is just a tad disingenuous. Robbo's critics have much more material to draw on than her blatent anti Jewish and pro Islamist activities. I remember attending a Mary Robinson book launch back in the early 1990's when she was President of Ireland. Mary Robinson commented that night about the deployment of American troops to Somalia by President Clinton: "The solution to Somalia's problems must not be imposed from outside. The problems of Somalis must be solved by the Somali people themselves." Ah yes. How many Somalis have to die at the hands of Islamist dictators before we might even consider maybe this is one country that needs to be governed from outside? In the interests of full disclosure I must tell you that I myself had written against President Clinton's deployment of troops to Somalia. But for different reasons. I had suggested that Clinton was sending in the soldiers with their hands tied behind their backs. That he wasn't letting them defend themselves when Somali terrorists attacked them using Somali women and children as human shields. And that he hadn't given the soldiers a clear winnable mission but had locked them into an undefined waltz of death involving a perpetual attempt to be humane and clever, abseiling from helicopters to their doom while Muslim murderers opened fire on them with machine guns from the streets. I thought Clinton was incompetent. If the troops were sent in at all I believed they should have been tasked to conquer the country and eliminate all militias and all terror armies. Otherwise I maintained they shouldn't be there. Their blood would be spilled to make Bill Clinton look good. You can see how my reasoning on Somalia differed from Mary Robinson's. I'd have let the troops go in as long as the troops knew they were the good guys and had a free hand to eliminate every murder gang in the country. Robbo thought any foreign intervention was somehow offside. Mary with her usual Soviet era thinking had concluded that the Yanks only wanted Somali real estate. Oh dear. This is the problem with fembo commie pinkos. It doesn't matter how wrong they are. They still keep elevating each other. The Irish Times has been going in to bat for Mary Robinson for three decades. She can do no wrong. Robbo went from the Presidency of Ireland to a United Nations human rights sinecure. With her unerring instincts for being wrong about everything she leapt briefly back into the limelight after America liberated Afghanistan. On the eve of liberation she called for humane treatment and Geneva Convention rights for Taliban and Al Qaeda prisoners. Almost the day after her clownish pronouncements, Talban and Al Qaeda prisoners rioted and murdered their jailers. Robbo become unusually quiet after that. Her anti Jewishness? No big deal. Not compared to her other cretinisms. Also in the interests of full disclosure I should point out that I made a pass at Mary Robinson's 17 year old daughter Morticia during the course of Mary Robinson's book launch back in 1992. That is to say, I walked up to Mary Robinson's daughter and said: "Would you care to talk to the press?" To which Mary Robinson's daughter replied: "Pass."

Thursday, August 06, 2009

The Photographer's Eye (with Enrica Cecchini)

As close as I wanted to get...
Even from my comparatively safe vantage point on the back of a truck, I could see the power and glory God has crafted into him. Enrica

break of day

leafen wood enwintered
by a soft ice surplice
fallen forth on timbers
in a fronded fretwork charabanc
that neath a network braided
steaming cattle breathed
earthen kingdoms frothed
into dying into life

on with the motley
rejoice rejoice

the monica leech laugh in

Murphy was up in court.
The Judge addressed him sternly.
"Well Murphy, you are charged with beating your wife."
"Yes Your Honour."
The Judge leaned forward.
"Liquor again Murphy?" he intoned.
"No Your Honour," said Murphy, "she licked me this time."


I picked up a copy of Newsweek today in the doctor's surgery at Kilcullen.
Newsweek is most famous for publishing a false story which mendaciously claimed that American soldiers at Guantanamo Bay had flushed Korans down the toilet.
Newsweek published this story at the height of the Jihad terror in Iraq when Iran, Syria and their proxies in Al Qaeda were working together to sabotage the American, British and Allied liberation of that country from Saddam Hussein.
Newsweek later admitted its story about Korans being flushed down the toilet at Guantanamo Bay was fiction.
The story was quite in keeping with Newsweeks's reportage of the The War On Terror generally though.
It was not an exceptional piece of crass traitorous quisling incompetence.
It was the rule.
The article displayed nothing more than the normal, the standard, level of crass traitorous quisling incompetence that every edition of Newsweek has displayed since the Jihadis attacked us.
I believe Newsweek consciously and by omission has been cheerleading for the Jihadis since Day One.
You all know I believe this.
I have withdrawn my consent from Newsweek as have many other people.
Still it survives.
How does it survive?
Who is financing it, if not its declining readership base?
Let us look closer.
This week's issue of Newsweek is dated August 9th 2009.
The edition no longer carries full details on a separate page of its editorial team.
It's almost as though they are ashamed.
The name of the editor appears only at the bottom of an article he has written.
He is Fareed Zakaria.
The name sounds Muslim doesn't it?
Interestingly enough Fareed Zakaria now presents a news programme for CNN, another media entity which I consider to have aided and abetted the Jihadis throughout The War On Terror.
CNN is owned by Time Magazine which is supposed to be Newsweek's major competitor.
Funny sort of competition, isn't it?
Very clubby.
Quite quite chummy.
Why it's almost sexual.
Time Magazine, like Newsweek, has also been to the fore in succouring the Jihadis by strenuously endeavouring to criminalise President Bush.
Equally importantly Time Magazine has displayed arrant partisanship in promoting the election of the peacenik appeaser-in-chief President Barack Obama.
Obama's election was Al Qaeda's greatest victory since Nine Eleven.
Ah yes.
People can be fooled.
But people aren't fools.
Eventually we figure it out.
The media traitors may weaken us and secure the election of a groovy buffoon.
But none of them are making a profit.
They're all going bust.
I'm not joking or speaking loosely when I say CNN, Time Magazine, Newsweek, The New York Times and The Washington Post are going out of business.
All of them.
Going bye byes.
It's happening before our eyes.
It is interesting to speculate as to how Newsweek, like CNN and Time Magazine, has managed to survive even thus far the collapse in its readership.
But Newsweek first.
The cover of the current edition of Newsweek has the slogan: America Rules. Why The US Will Emerge From The Crisis On Top.
You might be forgiven for thinking this was pro American sentiment.
It isn't.
The cover has a picture of America, incarnated as Uncle Sam, wearing wrestling trunks depicting the US flag, and standing triumphant in a wrestling ring.
He has knocked out similar wrestler incarnations of Great Britain and Japan who are lying on the floor of the wrestling ring.
Let me hasten to explain.
This is not Pro Americanism on Newsweek's part.
This is a crypto Marxist perspective on the free world which implies one country can only do well at the expense of its partners.
It is another deliberately false blatently misleading Newsweek slant.
In truth when America, Britain and Japan do well in partnership together, we all do well.
And I don't mean to champion the large corporations who are basically dysfunctional eructations on our freedom.
The banks and the stock exchanges and the oil companies are nothing.
They should all be in jail.
I mean the ordinary small businessmen, farmers and citizens of the free world who are the emblems of our freedom, the guarantors of it, the provisioners of it, its soldiers, its moral examplars and its spiritual guardians.
Our countries do well because of the freedoms accorded to those citizens.
The freedoms stemming from the Judaeo Christian tradition and nowhere else.
It is the same with all free countries.
We do well together.
Not at one another's expense.
The rising tide lifts all boats.
Why would Newsweek imply that it believes America will emerge from economic recession only by clobbering its best friends in the international world?
This is divide and conquer analysis by Newsweek.
It is as malign as it is untrue.
Inside Newsweek another main article consists of an interview and assessment of a new Taliban terrorist leader.
His name is given as Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradur.
He is described in terms that are imposing, deferential, mythic and menacing.
It is as though Newsweek is trying to build him up.
I hope they didn't pay him money for the quotes.
Paying money to Nazis is not a good idea, even for a low rent little traitor rag like Newsweek.
But I digress.
Newsweek has never written in such elevated terms about an American general.
In fact, they have not given President Bush any credit for finally finding his General Patton in the form of General Petraeus.
We have been allowed to have no heroes in The War On Terror.
Dan Rather's snivelling on CBS about the death count among our soldiers is not giving us heroes.
Newsweek's snivelling amounts to the same thing.
It's attempting to break morale on the home front.
Heroism is reserved for Jihadis, eh Newsweek?
Eh Time Magazine?
President Bush finally found Petraeus after years of trying to fight The War On Terror with Clinton era appointee Generals.
The Clinton Generals were much more sensitive to groovy workplace issues than they were to kicking Al Qaeda's arse all over the battlefield.
Petraeus showed them how it's done.
And Newsweek, Time Magazine, CNN, the New York Times and The Washington Post, tried to stop him every step of the way.
Our soldiers have been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan with one hand tied behind their back.
A continuous stream of propaganda from the media about every supposedly civilian death among the native populations of those Nazi countries.
Our soldiers have gone into battle with the tightest most restrictive rules of engagement any army has ever been hog tied with.
And those rules of engagement are allowing Al Qaeda and the Taliban to detonate roadside bombs and then walk whistling past the soldiers they have just murdered, walk cheerfully up the road as long as they're not carrying weapons, laughing happily at the slaughter our rules of engagement allow them to perpetrate time and time again.
Remember this.
Those rules of engagement have been constructed by the left wingers of the media and their friends in our own political and legal establishments.
Newsweek and its liberal pals have killed more of our soliders than Al Qaeda, the Taliban and Iran put together.
In spite of this and in spite of them, Petraeus has been giving the Jihadis the war they still can't quite believe.
Not for him the juvenile talk about the impossibilty of defeating an asymetric enemy.
None of this building up of enemy commanders.
Petraeus quietly told President Bush: "If you give me the forces to do the job I can do it. As long as you let me use the weapons at my disposal, I can ensure that any Jihadi who wants to walk down Main Street Iraq has to ask my permission. After that it's over."
So Petraeus is the first great General of The War On Terror.
Our first Patton in fifty years.
And Newsweek, CNN, Time Magazine, The Washington Post and The New York Times have laboured to prevent you from knowing it.
And President Barack Obama in withdrawing from Iraq and closing Guantanamo Bay prison has laboured to anull the Petraeus victory lest it make President Bush look good.
There is no mystery about any of this.
Newsweek thinks we should all be shaking in our shoes before the great Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradur.
I wonder does the new Mullah on the block believe his own publicity.
Here's a prediction for Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradur.
Much pain.
And goodbye.
Newsweek won't save you where you're going.
And there's more.
Editor Fareed Zakaria's own piece in the current edition of Newsweek is entitled On Iran Do Nothing Yet.
These things go by contraries.
If Fareed Zakaria says do nothing, then I'm pretty sure that means we're in the last chance saloon and the only hope of preventing an Iranian nuclear first strike would be an all out attack on Iran immediately to stop the Iranian Islamist government from detonating nuclear weapons throughout Europe, Israel and America.
It's just a hunch I have.
If Fareed Zakaria of Newsweek and CNN and Time Magazine, are collectively advocating a wait and see policy on Iran, this is the best intimation we're going to get that it's pretty much time to act.
We'll find out eventually whose analysis was closer to the mark.
Of course you know Fareed Zakaria never writes in a vacuum.
He is singing from the Obama administration song book.
This week US Foreign Secretary Hilary Clinton has announced that America will protect countries which fall under Iran's nuclear umbrella.
What she means is, that the current American government now accepts Iran will have nuclear weapons.
This is the mindshift Fareed Zakaria is signalling.
Iran is to be permitted to develop the atomic bomb.
It's already got it.
But you know what I mean.
You can see why Newsweek has no readers.
No public mandate for what it does.
Because it is little more than a propaganda pamphlet for our enemies, and a public relations machine for the Clintons and Barack.
So I ask again, why does it still exist?
Here is the news.
Newspapers have been surviving for decades on declining readerships.
They have produced this miracle, falling readership and rising revenues, through corporate (and, in Europe, state sector) advertising.
Like CNN, Time Magazine, the New York Times, and The Washington Post, our appeaserish friends at Newsweek are almost devoid of any public endorsement in terms of readership.
Old media is dying.
It's not dying because of the internet.
It's dying because they forgot who their audience were.
You don't spend World War Two publishing articles about how invincible the Nazis are and calling for the impeachment of Winston Churchill.
You don't spend the War On Terror trying to ensure our soldiers go into battle with their hands tied behind their backs through ridiculous rules of engagement that leave them unable to fire on Al Qaeda and the Taliban because Al Qaeda and the Taliban carry children on their convoys.
You don't use your newspapers and magazines to get our soldiers killed and question our fight against Al Qaeda out of existence.
You don't try to criminalise President Bush who courageously led us through Nine Eleven the cowardly sneak Muslim terror attack on the free world.
You don't do any of this and retain an audience in the Free World.
If you do, you go bust.
All these near defunct media entities have colluded to misrepresent the heroism of President Bush and to champion the defeatism and incompetence of President Obama.
All these media entities have indulged in the reporting style I call Rooting For The Jihadis.
All these media entities are held in low regard by those of us who recognise the Al Qaeda threat.
They have no revenues from their readership.
They survive only on advertising.
And perhaps on unspecified forms of financial assistance from the likes of Billionaire leftist George Soros.
Certainly we are aware that in the case of The New York Times the entire company has been propped up by a most unwholesome Mexican card sharp millionaire called Senor Slim.
Senor Slim recently divvied up no less than 250 million dollars to keep The New York Times afloat. I wonder why he did that. He must appreciate loss making newspapers.
We might also wonder have foreign governments, agencies or even terrorist groups contributed to some of these quisling media groups.
The Saudis have a lot of money.
Maybe when they're not financing the Jihad, they're putting a few oil dollars into the western traitor industry.
By which I mean Newsweek, Time Magazine, CNN et al.
Particularly al.
I hate him.
In any case we can clearly see the money flow from Newsweek's advertisers.
The paper trail this week is as follows.
The first ad in Newsweek is a full page from Rolex featuring golfer Lorena Ochoa.
Then there's an ad for Louis Vuitton bags featuring astronauts Sally Ride, Buzz Aldrin, and Jim Lowell.
After that we have an eight page ad for a solar energy company called Sharp.
Towards the back of Newsweek there's a page size ad for Lexus cars.
Then there's another page for HP computers.
There are also a series of smaller ads for supposed educational institutions namely: The American University of London, The European Institute of Purchasing Management, The College Du Leman, and the Antwerp International School.
Finally there are smaller ads for entities styling themselves Imperial Express Travel Services and International Projects 101.
Bold readers here's what we can do.
If you agree with me that Newsweek has been working against the interests of the free world in The War On Terror, then let's all boycott the above named advertisers.
If you think, as I do, that Newsweek has manipulated the news in an attempt to criminalise President Bush and row back from his victories, then let's take action.
Let's not buy a Rolex and let's not support Lorena Ochoa.
Let's not buy Louis Vuitton bags and let's have a word with the ex astronauts who clearly need a buck and aren't being careful enough about how they earn it.
Let's not buy a Lexus.
Let's not buy a HP computer.
Let's not allow our governments to contribute to the Sharp energy company.
Let's not sign up for courses at any of those high falutin fly by night pseudo colleges.
Let's not respond ever to a single ad in Newsweek.
The rules of the game are changing folks.
Now for the record, let's take a brief cursory look at Time Magazine, cover date August 10th 2009.
Our cursory look reveals the usual shenanigans continuing there.
Copious slavishly laudatory assessments of President Obama.
And an article warning about what Time Magazine calls the rise of the Far Right in Europe.
This article lousily and improperly and mendaciously attempts to link hero Dutch politician Geert Wilders to the British National Party and the French National Front.
Dear oh dear.
Geert Wilders has courageously highlighted the dangers of Islamist culture and the violence of radical Muslims within Europe.
Apparently Time Magazine wants to shut him up.
Who is finacing their agenda?
It ain't the general public.
Let's see.
Advertisements in Time Magazine this week were as follows.
Rolex had a two page advertisement.
IBM had a one page advertisement.
Lexus had a one page advertisement.
The Shell oil company had a one page advertisement.
Allianz, the financial services company had a one page advertisement.
Tag Heuer the watchmaker had a one page advertisement.
Ah yes.
We can see a pattern emerging.
Support none of these.
There were no smaller ads in Time Magazine.
The names of the editorial team, like those in Newsweek, are no longer being published.
What are they ashamed of?
Okay okay.
We know.
Well folks.
If you agree with me that Time Magazine has been rooting for the wrong side in The War On Terror, if you agree with me that Time Magazine has crassly campaigned to elect Barack Obama as President, if you agree with me that Time Magazine has been responsible for emboldening the Jihadis with its malign reportage, why then let's hold them accountable.
Just like with Newsweek.
Do not buy from any of their advertisers.
Not from Rolex.
Not from Lexus.
Not from Tag Heuer.
Not from IBM.
Not from Allianz.
Not from Shell.
Let's send out a message.
Let's let the b-st-rds know there's a price for betraying our soldiers.
Let's tell em plainly that we do not accept their representation of Jihadis as the heros in The War On Terror.
Let's make em pay.

a rooskie in dublin

by Irina Kuksova
If you come from a country that has no tradition of drinking rounds, you will be amazed at the amount of drinks the Irish are ready to offer to your lucky self on a night out. Go to a pub with an Irish crowd and after you give up trying to understand their accent, check how many drinks are in front of you. Yes, a lot more than one, and these are all yours to drink. I know, I know. You have barely touched your very first drink but that's the trick. Everyone else around you has already finished theirs.
So it's time for you to get up and save their dry mouths. To get a round, as the Irish call it. The drinks in front of you are not favours. They are a token for the drinks you are bound to get other people.
In Russia when it comes to drinking in bars, its usually "every man for himself." Meaning, everybody is responsible for getting their own drink. Okay, women are only responsible for themselves if they're on a girls night out. (It's not a matter of financial inequality. We just don't want chivalry to die.)
You can say: "Hey but I saw a Russian gang in a pub and there was this huge guy who paid for all the drinks. Wasn't that the round system in operation?"
Hmmm. Most likely, NO. A few possible explanations for what you saw are:
He was just trying to show off.
It was his birthday.
He was the boss on a night out with employees.
Plus, if you continued watching that group, you'd probably have noticed that nobody moved to repeat the same generous gesture. People continued getting their own drinks at their own pace. This is not an instance of massive stinginess. It's just proof that for Russians, rounds are not on.
Most Russian women would only have one drink a night anyway. Or two in exceptional circumstances, say during a long dance session in a night club.Two is enough to get us quite tipsy. The motto "Women are not supposed to eat, much less drink," has generated plenty of Russian top models. This is why rounds make no sense in a group of Russian women. We are likely to be stuck on the first round till dawn.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

paddy pup in front of goal

Do I shoot or just bite the ball?


wellesley gardens
growing old while i watch them
here i first stretched to touch the leaf
on the branch out of reach
and sought the silver kingdoms of reason
only to find them empty
now i'll return
in the dying season
to my own country
and seek a lowlier question there
who knows the how or where
why or if
but in the grey fields
and flown mists
of desolation and despair
perhaps i'll find jesus

heelers dazzles another love struck waif

Book shop on Grafton Street this evening.
A rather flirtatious girl sat at my feet.
She was comely in the sexalacious sense of comely.
I was posited in the window seat enjoying a free read.
And she actually sat at my feet.
There was a mild surreptitious contact between her back and my knee.
Presently she moved from the ground up onto the window ledge beside me.
Then she addressed me directly.
Favouring me with one of those classic elusive sidelong glances.
Ye gods.
Ye olde glance through ye curtain of dark hair routine.
I thought they outlawed that during the last days of the Clinton administration.
Her words rang faint and fantastical like music in my ears.
"When will the shop be closing?" she breathed with strange high mystic significance.
My lips babbled an over eager: "Nine o'clock."
The universe filled up with stillness.
Presently I could take no more of this devilish drole de drame.
I decided to cut to the chase.
"Where are you from?" sez I.
"Austria," quoth she.
"How about a coffee?" sez me.
"You're too old," shot back she.
And from somewhere not too far away, the soundtrack to a 1970's Joan Collins soft porn film kicked in.
The soundtrack went:
"There are good girls,
And there's bad,
The bad are all I've ever had.
That's why they call her the bitch,
She's a wicked wicked witch,
That's why they call her the bitccccchhhh."
You know bold readers, the soundtrack to The Bitch really did kick in at that moment.
Most appropriate it was too.
Will I suppose if I insist on being attracted to women who actually look evil, I needn't be too surprised when they don't turn out to be Polly Of Primrose Hill.
Ah Polly Of Primrose Hill.
Now there's a cracking bird.
Whoarrrrgh, as we do say in the trade.
But I digress.
I exit the bookshop with what grace I can. Not young and not renewable but man. As the lefty poet Thomas Kinsella always used to say when Austrian sexors shot him out of the saddle.
Late this same evening I visited Hilary in hospital. Hilary is a teacher who is currently working on a project for holy God that involves bringing new life into the universe.
I mean, she is preggers.
She seemed quite cheered by the story of my adventures with Miss Austria.
I finished my anecdote with a brief rendition of the Joan Collins song.
Then I noticed.
The ward had fallen silent.
A half dozen pregnant women were sitting up in their beds craning to get a better look at me.
They seemed awfully amused about something.
My handsome preraphaelite features flushed bright red.
Bidding the Hilary adieu, I headed for the door.
I exited the room head held high, a vaguely gallant figure, perpetually ill at ease in the world and for ever at odds with it.
With some difficulty I resisted the urge to stop at each bed as I passed, and ask the grinning preggerses out for coffee.
Optimist though I am, I knew I'd probably be too old for all of them.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009


you will see the angels ascending and descending on the son of man

our television listings

(The Irish national fraudcaster.)
4.25 Murder She Wrote. Jessica gets swine flu and is unable to solve any murders for a week.
5.20 The Bill. Ronsky gets chewed out by Pallaver over the narcotics bust. Meanwhile Miffley is out of sorts when he fails to get promotion to Detective Inspector while Pilchard develops a complex because her boobs are small.
5.45 Achooo. I mean Nuacht.
6.00 The Angelus. One minute of bell ringing. And this is the best programme on RTE.
6.01 News. Read by a lefty liberal atheistic fembo commie pinko Jihadi loving abortionist against the bomb.
6.30 Reeling In The Years. I don't care what this is.
7.00 Fresh From The Sea. Clodagh McKenna continues to present a food programme in her own inimitable style. The second best programme on RTE after The Angelus.
7.30 Eastenders. Anissa and James run away to Tunisia.
8.00 Fair City. You know yourself loike Missus Keaveney. Part 5000 of a 100,000 part episode.
8.30 How Long Will You Live? Who wants to know?
9.00 News. More from those lovable fembos.
9.30 The Rutland. Yawnfest.
10.35 A Song For Dad. Wearisome RTE types bore for Ireland about their family life.
11.35 News. In case you haven't been programmed to support Barack Obama and acquiesce to Al Qaeda, here's yet more from RTE's in house left wing gauleiters of thought, The Fembo Commie Pinkos.
11.40 Boston Legal. RTE's lawyer fetish continues.


(our weekly chess puzzle)
Gringo Arpinetti versus Mohamed Bin Al Zarboozy.
Moscow 1983.
White has Black's King out in the open and looking very exposed to multiple strikes from White's Rooks and Queen. Black will have to be on his toes to avoid the inevitable. Can you see how he tipped the balance in his favour?
Solution: The pawn beside the White Queen was wearing a suicide vest. The pawn self detonated giving Black a massive material advantage from which Zarboozy won easily.


This comment came in yesterday:

James we've got over you. Keep up your schitck though; it's momentarily amusing.

It was the Johnston Press.
Genuinely them.
There were two clues which gave it away:
1. They'd misspelled schtick. That would be just about their speed.
2. It had taken the entire Johnston Press organisation a full 48 hours to come up with their comment in reply to an article of mine and this was the best they could do. A full 48 hours with the whole lot of them working flat out to missssspell schtick. That also would be just about their speed.

There was something else.
This was the first ever comment from the Johnston Press which the Johnston Press wanted me to know for certain came from the Johnston Press.
This one had left a deliberate cyber footprint to their offices in Horsham West Sussex.
No need for a tip off from my usual sources within the company.
No need for computerised telecommunicational didgeridoos.
No need for software.
Plain as day.
Horsham indeed.
There's lots of hors wandering around there.
All working for the Johnston Press.
Hors of Babylon as we do say in the trade.

The Johnston Press Horsham, West Sussex office has been a constant presence on this website for several years. Someone there obviously likes great literature. But no one ever left a comment before. I wonder why they've started now.

Up to this moment when the Johnston Press wanted to leave a comment on this website, they crossed the road from their Horsham West Sussex office and walked into Bristol, East Sussex.
There they logged on via Easynet, the internet service provider of choice for those who do not wish to be traceable or identifiable.
The Easynet comments have all been anonymous but some attempted to convey the impression of being written by a fan.
There were comments about Irish millionaire Tony O'Reilly.
There were comments discussing condom culture.
There were comments from Internet Service Provider Number 90.195.61 at (Easynet) signed "Don" about my articles on Anglo Irish Bank.
Another time the Johnston Press geniuses had even written "Allah U Akba, we are watching," beneath a photograph of my nephews.
Apparently at this stage the Johnston Press commenters were attempting to pose as members of Al Qaeda.
How very classy of them.
I knew that it was a Johnston Press comment right away because the half wits had misspelled Allah U Akbar.
I kid you not.
And then there were the usual Johnston Press sneers.
But all from the same source.
All the comments.
All the Dons.
All the Sean O'Briens.
All the Anonymouses.
All just the same Johnston Press in drag.
So anonymous.
Yet so readily identifiable.

Yesterday as the Johnton Press empire flocked to the Heelers Diaries once more, in response to some gentle good humoured tomfoolery I had written about them, there was one notable absence.
No visit via Easynet from Bristol, East Sussex.
It was most strange.

And that comment from the Johnston Press in Horsham.
The first ever comment where the Johnston Press deliberately made itself identifiable on this blog.
Most strange.

And not even a sneer.
The first ever Johnston Press comment that isn't either duplicitously attempting to establish a false identity or sneering in the key of sektor sieben gah.
Quite a pleasant comment really.
Almost witty.
Most strange.

Could it all possibly have anything to do with my recent light hearted remark about bugged telephones.

The News of the World bloke got three months for bugging telephones you know.

Memo To all members of the general public who have been asking me did I want them to boycott the Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press, to all businessman who have contacted me asking me did I want them to withdraw their advertising from the Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press, to all Rah men, Jihadis and other reprobates who have asked me did I want them to have a personal word on my behalf with the Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press...
The Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press no longer enjoy my protection.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

dove and dover

ring tailed doves at the chateau taking a mid afternoon break from snuggling

the monica leech laugh in

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are having a climactic light sabre duel.
The fighting is intense.
The light sabres clash repeatedly unleashing blue and red sparks.
Vader grabs Luke by the collar.
"Luuuuuuke," he rasps. "I know what you got Obi Wan Kenobi for Christmas. You got him a... jigsaw!"
Horror fills Luke's eyes.
He breaks free and swings his light sabre.
Vader parries.
For a moment there is nothing but a confused flurry of blows.
Then Vader has Luke in a clinch again.
"Luuuuuke," he rasps. "I know what you got Han Solo for Christmas. You got him a... woolly jumper!"
Again horror fills Luke's eyes.
Again he breaks free.
The light sabres clash and lock together.
Luke and Vader are once more grappling eye to eye.
"Luuuuke," rasps Vader. "I know what you got Princess Leia for Christmas. You got her a... bottle of perfume!"
Luke can stand no more.
"Alright Lord Vader," he says. "But how do you know what I got them for Christmas."
Vader grins.
"I felt your presents Luke," he rasps with an air of finality.

to the overthrow

the worm things of the soft earth
in the rainfall night crawl forth
onto pavement doorstep or road
into the concrete certainty of death

they do not think but they know
that in a darkness yet to fall
there will be an overthrow
and those who rule will crawl

and those who crawl will rule
though tonight in their impossible thousands they die
crushed under wheel
trampled under foot
conquered by a nation
that knows them not

hardiman cases make bad law

In Ireland something called Judge Adrian Hardiman has ruled that a 12 year sentence on a rapist must be reduced.
Judge Adrian Hardiman has enunciated some pseudo rationale which he claims is a point of law to justify doing what no member of the general public wants done for this young rapist.
I would hate to think Judge Adrian Hardiman would give any rapist a get out of jail free card without being aware of how I feel about the matter.
Here's how I feel.
I want Judge Adrian Hardiman to cease to be a Judge in the Republic of Ireland.
I want Judge Adrian Hardiman and all the liberal Judges removed from office forthwith.
I want Judge Adrian Hardiman to share a jail cell with some of the rapists and murderers he's turned loose on the rest of us.
I want Judge Adrian Hardiman to go to jail.
Go directly to jail.
Do not pass go.
Do not collect a ten million dollar pension you never earned.
Let's take our chances with military courts for murderers, drug gangs, terrorists, and rapists.
We've tolerated these *******s for too long.
The Judges I mean.

an open letter to the johnston press

Dear Scum and Scrotes.
Where are you?
It's very strange.
No Johnston Press visits to my website in ages.
What can have happened.
Since I wrote that scene where Satan asks John Fry if he bugged my phone, I've scarce had a single visit from you.
The daily stream of Johnston Press log-ons to my humble blog simply ceased.
It's as though the well of parvenus has dried up.
You guys were dropping in 200 times a month.
But now.
It's very strange.
I must admit I had grown somewhat accustomed to your constant log-ons from around her majesty's realm, (I am referring to Queen Elizabeth The Second's realm, not John Fry's) from Derbyshire, Leeds, East Sussex, West Sussex, your Bulldog DSL line in London, the Scotsman, your vaginal sounding legal advisers Hyman Roberts, all of em.
Stopped dead.
Almost as if the whole lot of you have disappeared.
Swept away on a voodoo wind.
Time was when I could bump up the ratings on The Heelers Diaries with even a mild Johnston Press mention.
But July's record figures of 1444 visitors (I have my stat counter set so you can read it, no need for any bugging device there) lacked even one visit from your odious selves.
Now I pour forth vituperation and there's no response.
My basest provocations availeth nought.
Not even one visit after yesterday's schtick about the film.
Not even one.
It's most amazing.
James Healy
PS: Three months wasn't it. What the News Of The World editor got for bugging phones.