The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Thursday, September 20, 2018


The magpie jumped down from the fence and landed in a puddle.
Right in front of me she began to splash water over herself.
Magpies are normally quite shy.
The creature conveyed in that moment a celebration of life but also a gift of trust directed towards me.
What was the old one liner?
The kingdom of heaven is your midst.
That evening up at the Hill Wood the crows swirled in their myriads prior to picking a branch to roost on during the hours of darkness.
Their nightly praise of God, their thanksgiving as it were, is given in this gavotte upon the wind currents.
Wheeling and turning, rising and falling, roiling above and below each other, never seeming to collide.
Maybe they do glance off each other but because of the way they are so finely made, it isn't a problem nor is it visible to the human eye.
Their flight seems as riotously chaotic as it is graciously balletic.
Gradually more and more of them peel away into the trees, disappearing as they settle amid the foliage.
Soon there are only a few still flying.
Then these disappear.
There is still much chattering from the branches where they nest.
Creatures rejoice in the creation.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

the story of my argument with the bbc

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: BBC Resourcing Team <>
Sent: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 00:51:11 +0100 (IST)
Subject: BBC Careers Hub Your account and details have now been deleted / Hwb Gyrfaoedd BBC Mae eich cyfrif a manylion nawr wedi ei ddileu

Dear James,
You may recall, we recently wrote to you about your profile on the BBC Careers Hub as you hadn't logged into it for over 2 years. Your account will now be deleted and you will need to register again if you want to apply for future opportunities with the BBC.
BBC Resourcing and Talent

From Heelers to the Beeb.
Five minutes ago.

Dear Commie atheist left wing abortionist, Islamist, satanist, Skangs.
I hope I'm not leaving any of you out.
I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.
Why don't you go collude with freemasonic police officers to frame Cliff Richard for child abuse again live on national television,again, and then refuse to identify which of you set up the scam, again, and then refuse to report the fact that the police were refusing to investigate themselves as requested by parliament for their part in the scam, again, and then claim falsely that you've done nothing wrong. Again.
James Healy
PS: If you insist on writing to me I shall write an open letter to the people of England urging them to democratise you,  ie to compel you to trade on merit without the assistance of a billion dollar Stalinist public subvention styled the licence fee.
PPS: You skangs.
PPPS: The piece of Welsh in your subject line gave a refreshing poetic comprehensibility to your elsewhere obfuscatory communication. Mae eich cyfrif to you too.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

the crunch question

Question: Why did members of the Irish police force wear masks over their faces while evicting supposed activists from a house in Dublin last week?

Answer: Because the police think these activists are in fact a skang gang run by the IRA and its political proxies Sinn Fein, and they had no intention of allowing an IRA Sinn Fein skang gang to film or otherwise identify police officers going about their duty with a view to targetting them and their families later on as per common IRA Sinn Fein skang gang practice in the Ireland of today. It is also somewhat pleasing to think that perhaps some of the police were giving a two fingered salute to the IRA Sinn Fein skang gang in question at the supposed protest, in that the knitted masks the cops wore are more often worn by IRA Sinn Fein skang gangs at supposed protests and during bank robberies and while dealing drugs, and when terrorising the community, and elsewhere.

Copy to Liadh Ni Riada who has just been announced as the IRA Sinn Fein skang gang's nominee for President of Ireland.