james healy's bumper guide to the women of the world

Russian women: Don't bother. They may look spectacular but they're all either married to a drug dealer, dating Aron Abramovich, or living in sin with Bill Wyman.

Arab girls: Brown eyes of the gazelle. The most beautiful, mysterious, alluring, sensual and spiritual girls on earth. But you'd better be careful because their brothers might be inclined to kill you for not being Muslim.

The Chinese: Chinese women are inscrutable. Take it from me. I've been trying to scrute one for years and there's nothing doing.

Africans: They're insatiable. Always wanting to go shopping and such like.

The French: Nice accents. Particularly the ones from Nice. Arf arf.

Irish girls: Complex creatures obsessed with sex, savagery, and midriff exposure. For all of that, they're more repressed than their grannies.

Swedes: Was ever a race of people so badly named? The Swedes are so consistently good at looking good that they finish up by making good looks unconscionably boring. After a few days in Sweden you'll be praying: Oh Lord bring me back home again to the sweet delicious hatchets I know so well.

The English: Roses.

Americans: I quite like American girls.

Israelis: Ah fair Daphne where are you now? What barricades are you storming in what far distant capital? Do you still scandalise your airforce Colonel father by voting for the Arab Communist Party? Do you still remark fondly after being pushed back by British police officers at anti globalisation street protests: "They're gentle by our standards." Are you still married to the Scottish Catholic guy? He is a lucky man. God has blessed him with you.

porch light

creatures of the wing
crowd the haloed glass
chained by lightning
to darkness

i kill the light
they fly away free
to chase new dreams
to embrace new slavery

lady hamilton's pussy

The Director of Public Prosecutions in the Republic of Ireland, a liberal atheist styling himself James Hamilton, has demanded that an enquiry into the actions of super thief Sean Fitzpatrick be halted.
Hamilton's excuse for heading off public concerns about this hoodlum is to claim that any enquiry might prejudice later legal action.
It's nonsense of course.
Hamilton is running pass defence for the most disgusting criminal currently at large in Ireland. (With the exception of serial killer Larry Murphy whom the courts and police have released into our midst without any public consultation.)
Who is Sean Fitzpatrick?
This is all you need to know.
Sean Fitzpatrick in robbing his own bank, styled Anglo Irish Bank, has singlehandedly brought about the bankruptcy of the entire Irish nation.
Generations yet unborn will live in poverty because of the arrant knavery of Sean Fitzpatrick.
He has performed a smash and grab on the Republic.
The country may not survive him.
Sean Fitzpatrick's method for robbing his own bank was similar but more blatent than the methods used by other bankers in robbing their own banks.
He gave thousand million dollar loans to his friends who had no hope of every repaying them but who slipped him fifty million under the table every time he divvied up.
He also gave himself hundred million dollar loans.
That's how it was done.
Consequently Anglo Irish under Sean Fitzpatric and his accomplice Snurdface Drumm became the biggest loss maker on the planet earth.
It lost more money than the largest loss making American bank Citibank.
James Hamilton as DPP in the Republic of Ireland is the senior legal professional responsible for representing the public intererest in pursuance of the prosecution of criminals.
So James Hamilton has now ordered one official organisation to cease its investigations into Sean Fitzpatrick's arrant criminality.
And yes, James Hamilton claims he has done this because he fears such an investigation might prejudice any future legal action by James Hamilton himself against Sean Fitzpatrick.
Most of us aren't holding our breath for James Hamilton to take any action against Sean Fitzpatrick.
It's two years since Sean Fitzpatrick's end game, when the corrupt kleptocratic Fianna Fail government of that time stepped in to force the Irish people to bail out the bank whose collapse Sean Fitzpatrick had himself caused through giving thousand million dollar loans to his friends.
This was always the plan.
The State would step in.
So Anglo Irish wouldn't have to pay back the money Sean Fitzpatrick had used it to borrow internationally so that he could then lend that money to himself and his friends.
Can you see the gambit?
For Sean Fitzpatrick to get away with that money, Fianna Fail had to compel the Irish people to meet the debt.
Otherwise Sean Fitzpatrick would have to have met the debt.
And for Sean Fitzpatrick to retain his liberty, his friends in high places must now prevent the public interest being acted upon in any open enquiry.
Hence the criminal behaviour of James Hamilton.
Clever isn't it?
And malignly evil.
And James Hamilton, who claims to be so conerned about prejudicing future legal actions, has done nothing against Sean Fitzpatrick for the past two years.
He's avin a larf.
We should jail him for life alongside Sean Fitzpatrick, Snurdface Drumm, Gillian Bowler and Larry Murphy.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
We will.

****
Footnote: James Hamilton, who has taken two years to do a grand total of nothing about Sean Fitzpatrick's smash and grab on the nation, took just two weeks to issue a court summons to me when a corrupt thug police officer called Sergeant James D O'Meara of the Naas traffic division contrived a purely notional offence against me at the side of the road, bringing me to court for the heinous crime of  allowing a light to break on my car as I drove home in a downpour.

ten times i've been wrong about something

1. I accused Russian President Vladimir Putin of orchestrating the grotesque murder of Alexander Litvinenko in London. I was wrong in that I had not taken into account the fact that Putin's victim had close ties to Islamic Chechen Al Qaeda terrorists. It has since been asserted to me that Mr Litvinenko was in fact allied to nice Chechens. I don't believe that for a second. In any case I was wrong for not factoring in Mr Litvinenko's known associations when I decided to call his killing murder. It has also been asserted to me that the probability Putin killed him rests only at Fifty-Fifty, as a multi millionaire associate of Mr Litvinenko also had motive and opportunity to commit the deed. My analysis remains that Putin and his savages murdered Mr Litvinenko. Their victim's associations with Muslims waging war against Russia was undeniable. The Muslims even smuggled an Imam into the hospital where he died, and claimed he had converted to Islam before he expired. Putin and his agents murdered him alright. Barbarously and grotesquely. And my conclusion that Putin is a dangerous psychopath intent on resovietising Russia, still stands. I based that conclusion on a systemic cross referencing of a series of adventurist murders, invasions and electoral gerrymanderings, across international boundaries which Mr Putin and the KGB have conducted in recent years. I am not wrong in insisting the Putin is actually President of Russia while holding the title of Prime Minister. I am not wrong in insisting that the Russian secret police are still the KGB and not the supposedly reconstituted democratically accountable FSB. I am probably not wrong that one or other or all of those Russian honeys who wandered into my life these past two years was involved in espionage and had been sent to check me out because of the uniquely insightful nature of my critical analysis even when I'm wrong. No woman on earth is as desperate for Heelers lovin as those babes were.
***
2. In trying to warn the world about the imminent threats to humanity arising from Muslim "civilisation," I have written harshly of Muslims. There's a dim possibility I was grievously wrong in this.
***
3. Er, that's it.

tolling the hours six bells

1. Within hours of the French, British, American intervention in Libya to enforce the No-Fly zone as requested by the Arab League and the United Nations, Mister Amir Moussa chief of the Arab League was denouncing the French, British and Americans for exceeding the mandate of the UN No-Fly zone resolution. Well you can't say I didn't warn you.

2. Sky News has taken to introducing Lisa Holland's reports from Libya with the disclaimer: "Lisa Holland's reports are produced under Libyan government control." Too little, too late Sky. You only introduced your disclaimer after I highlighted the fact that Lisa Holland was no match for Saif Gadaffi and her fawning interviews with him were helping turn the tide against the rebels. Still, it's quite amusing watching Lisa Holland's face which looks volcanic every time she's introduced as being "under Libyan government control."
Sky News is of course a massive financial loss maker which Rupert Murdoch is compelled to finance by British government legislation if he wants to do business in Britain. Because Sky News makes no profits. It is not accountable in any conventional way to the public. The only serious private sector revenue which Sky receives, aside from the free money provided compulsorily by Mr Murdoch, comes via sponsorship from the Islamic royal family of Qatar, the same people who finance Al Jazeera, the Nazi channel.

3. Why is Barack Obama touring Brazil and Chile while American pilots are risking their lives over Libya? Does he not think this crisis is important enough for him to stay in the office? Hey Barack, the Russians are involved here too. Come home Barack. Come home you twit and do a day's work for a change.

4. Anyone who bombs the Gadaffi's and leaves them alive... he know notheeng about Tuco.

5. I hope Barack knows what he's doing. I hope he isn't as clueless as I suspect he is. I hope he hasn't just used the American navy and airforce and a billion dollars worth of cruise missiles to help a French President feel a bit more manly. President Sarkozy, who led the charge for Western intervention, you will remember was the one who dumped his wife and married a silly ex supermodel within months of gaining high office. If he thinks the French Presidency is merely an excuse to meet hot hags, what on earth does he think Libya is? Anyhoo. I sure wouldn't ask anyone to die for him. I know I'm sneering. And I know when I'm sneering I'm really sneering at myself. But I'm just saying Barack, I hope you know what you're doing.

6. Dear President Sarkozy, anyone who bombs the Gadaffi's and leaves them alive etc etc. Now would be a very good time to increase your security on the Paris metro and the Eiffel tower. Watch your back Jacques. I'm just saying is all. These are very bad people.