The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, January 10, 2011

the so let me get this straight show

So let me get this straight. A devil worshipping, drug taking, psychopathic member of an extreme left wing hate group, who despises America and the State of Israel, shoots Congresswomen Giffords, and kills another half dozen people, and shoots several more who survive, and, and, and... and immediately after his shootings and murders the Democratic Party supporting investigating Sheriff along with CNN and Sky News, are going coast to coast seeking to blame Sarah Palin, the Tea Party movement, Conservatives generally, and Christianity in particular.
Words fail me.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

pen picture with a punchline

Afternoon coffee with Ron Hayes.
He is my most improbable friend.
A lifelong communist, now 72 years old, he spent his much of his youth working for the revolution in Africa and elsewhere.
He bears the marks of a life lived hard.
And he ain't afraid of nuthin.
Around us the cafe buzzes with life.
My communist friend sips his coffee meditatively from a right hand which is missing a finger.
"You'll be pleased to know that I've found religion," he tells me.
"Really?" I reply, indeed quite pleased.
"Well not quite," he chuckles. "But when I'm admitted to hospital for this damned stroke, I've started filling in the forms with a religious preference."
"Why?" sez me.
"The Muslim doctors," sez he.
"How do you mean?" sez me.
"For Muslims it's no crime to kill an atheist," he informs me matter of factly. "They can kill an atheist without any thought or guilt. For the first time in my life I'm claiming to be Christian on the hospital admission forms. Muslims consider it's more acceptable to be a Christian or a Jew, than an atheist, as long as you know your place."
I stared at him.
I had my doubts about portions of his final sentence.
But it conveyed a certain truth.
If the lifelong hard men commie atheists among us are now living in fear of Muslims, Ireland really has come much nearer to the Caliphate than even I suspected.

the murder of richard holbrooke

Mr President.
Richard Holbrooke, your Special Envoy to Afghanistan and Pakistan recently fell ill and underwent a surgical operation.
You and your security apparatus will have been aware that Mr Holbrooke was a prime target for assassination by the worldwide Muslim terror army styling itself Al Qaeda.
You and your security apparatus nonetheless permitted Mr Holbrooke to go for his surgical operation to a Pakistani Muslim doctor.
Mr Holbrooke is of course now dead as the dodo.
And the Pakistani Muslim doctor is of course now claiming that Mr Holbrooke's last words were: "End the war in Afghanistan."
No surprises there.
Ah yes.
Doctor Mohommed Abu Bin Phibes would have us believe American diplomats are now appealing to him from their death beds to alter the fate of nations.
Barack old bean this is beyond incompetence.
You are out cartering Jimmy Carter.
James Healy

how corrupt is the irish police force

The Irish police force, styling itself An Garda Siochana (Guardians Of The Peace, a sick joke apparently), have begun issuing press releases relating to road deaths for the past year.
Irish national media groups, to wit The Irish Times, Independent Newspapers and RTE, have been publishing these police figures without criticism or question.
The police are claiming that road death figures for 2010 represent the lowest level of annualised road fatalities since records began.
There are several reasons why the police should be challenged on this reading of the situation.
(1) The police collect and collate road death figures themselves without any independent oversight. These figures cannot be trusted. There are inconsistencies from year to year, including in some years a failure to match all reported fatalities with names and addresses. In various years anyone dropping dead of a heart attack at the side of the road would be included in the figures. In other years such deaths are randomly excluded. The police have been previously caught falsifying the Deaths In Garda Custody statistics and were subject to an investigation on this matter by no less a figure than the United Nations Special Rapporteur On Human Rights. Lovely, lovely people. Their compilation of crime statistics generally is arrantly fictional. It is unlikely that Irish police officers will be any more honest when compiling road death figures than they have been with the other "statistics" they disseminate.
(2) Several heavy falls of snow paralysed most of Ireland's road network for the final six weeks of the year. Since the network was paralysed, road use fell to almost negligible levels during this period. For half of November and all of December there were tens of millions fewer road journeys than normal. This fact alone would be sufficient to account for the reduced number of road deaths in Ireland for 2010.
(4) While the year 2010 ended with the road network paralysed by snow fall, most people have forgotten that the year began in much the same way. During January of 2010 we had an unprecedented freeze up on the roads which again kept traffic at levels far below normal. This too will have resulted in fewer road fatalities. And it had absolutely nothing to do with our thug police force. Whatever else the dishonorable scum of the Garda Siochana are claiming, they're surely not yet claiming to control the weather.
(4) Several hundred thousand foreign nationals left Ireland last year due to the recession. The departure of several hundred thousand foreign nationals from Ireland resulted in tens of millions fewer road journeys than in the previous comparable time frame. The reduced road journeys meant fewer accidents and fewer deaths. This fact alone would be sufficient to account for the reduced number of road deaths in Ireland for 2010.
(5) Police officers have been harassing, intimidating, assaulting, and inducing heart attacks in motorists at the side of the road for no net gain to the community. Bear in mind the broader law abiding community wouldn't have agreed to this sort of police thuggery even if it had brought about improvements in road safety. But it hasn't. The reduction in road deaths has occurred for other reasons. The police should not be allowed to use the fall in the number road deaths to justify their incipient brutality, casual disregard for the rule of law, and endemic venal corruption.
(6) I recognise that the road death figures are somewhat lower than usual. Even if you ignore what I have pointed out regarding factors like police falsification of the figures, the inclement weather keeping motorists off the road for one eighth of the year, and the falling foreign national population resulting in tens of millions fewer journeys, even if you ignore these factors, I would humbly ask you to note that in spite of the fall in the overall road death figures, there has actually been a significant rise in several subcategories among those same figures. In the past year we have had the largest ever number of fatalities in a single incident collision when a bunch of kids coming from a party wiped themselves out along with another couple of citizens who were unlucky enough to meet them. These sort of accidents involving young tearaways continue to proliferate in spite of the intense harassment of law abiding citizens during daylight and evening hours by thug police officers who are always nowhere to be seen when the drugged up teens and hard man twenty somethings are out on their midnight death runs.
(7) Even those of you who still reject my analysis and insist on defending the arrant violence and crass incompetence of our individually, invidiously, and institutionally corrupt police force, might do well to consider the following. During Mussolini's fascist rule in Italy, for the first time ever the trains ran on time and Mafia activity came to a halt. Most of us agree it wasn't worth it.