The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

are we human or are we hairdressers

Rowena Baines on the phone.
"The kids were trying to figure out what we were talking about yesterday. So being a modern parent I took them through the whole thing. Explained to them that Eilis Philips had produced a play, and that you had reviewed it in a magazine, and that Eilis hadn't liked your review, and had written a letter to the magazine accusing you of unfairness to one of her actors, and that now you are too embarassed to go into her hairdressing salon and are cutting your hair yourself which is why it looks so terrible. I told them everything. And my youngest said: 'No, I bet James went in and apologized to Eilis and Eilis said: Okay I forgive you but you have to let me cut your hair any way I want.' "

Monday, July 27, 2015

the 2015 lockout

Strolling on the avenue.
Rowena Baines hoves into view with her two kids, bright as buttons.
"James," she cries, "your hair! It's an American cut isn't it. A real marine cut. So you went back to Eilis Phillips! Did you apologize?"
Then she looks more closely.
The kids gawp a bit too.
"Eilis didn't do that," she muses, "there are gaps everywhere?"
"I did it myself," I pronounce grandly.
She stares.
"James," she intones grimly, "go back to Eilis Phillips."
So saying she gathers up her little ones and hurries away.

from the heelers prize fights

Eric Bolling versus Dana Perino
(Fox News, The Five programme, Re recent monumental clash between co presenters. Heelers referees.)

I like both these broadcasters.
Dana Perino because she used to be spokesperson for the Bushwhacker.
Eric Bolling because he goes to church.
They're both civil, intellectually qualitative, eminently watchable presenters.
But not spectacularly so.
They got stuck into each other a few weeks ago on their Fox News television chat show.
And that was spectacular.
I suppose I think it was spectacular because the honest and forthright exchange of views is comparatively rare in modern disourse.
As is honest emotion.
You get a lot of show boating, feigned outrage, and repeated party pieces.
Rare enough you see a clash between two honorable people who actually believe what they are saying.
The subject of their disagreement was Donald Trump and his spectacular poll numbers in the race for the Republican Party Presidential nomination.
Eric Bolling expressed the view that regardless of whether one supported Mr Trump, his presence in the race was of significant benefit to the other candidates (and to the public, and to the process) as he was moving the political conversation from formally rehearsed press releases and sound bites to a more spontaneous examination of key issues.
Dana Perino became progressively shriller as she denounced Donald Trump and anyone who might feel positively towards him.
Her denunciations became positively fascinating as she accused Eric Bolling himself of promoting a favourable view of Trump in order to get a stint on one of Trump's television programmes.
This was a train crash.
Eric Bolling knew he had been impugned and he knew he had to express outrage about what Dana Perino had said.
I think he also knew that in the Fox News television universe, Dana Perino is considered the bigger draw and anything he might say, might lose him his job.
He huffed and puffed a little.
Dana Perino shrieked some more.
"I have been with this programme since it began," Eric Bolling fumed.
"So have I," veritably shrieked Dana Perino.
I'm not joking.
She was really shrieking.
And it was over.
Here is the news.
Eric Bolling was correct in everything he said.
Dana Perino was wrong.
More than wrong.
While impugning Eric Bolling's motivation, she was in my view possibly quite crassly motivated herself.
Donald Trump has indeed injected the quality of the genuine into the Republican Presidential nomination process.
The back room boys who manage the Republican party, the fixers, the Karl Roves, et al (particlarly Al, I hate him) are now terrified that Trump may actually win the nomination.
That's what the spat on Fox News was really about.
Dana Perino while jeering Eric Bolling for supposed partisanship, was actually going in to bat for the boys in the back room.
Dana Perino was going in to bat for managerial Republicanism, the same stream of fixers and manipulators who consider the Republican Party their property and who sabotaged Rick Santorum's bid for the nomination four years ago by delaying the announcement that he had won the very first primary selection convention in Iowa.
The back room boys delayed the announcement of the result for six weeks, duplicitously claiming that it looked like Mitt Romney (remember him?) had won thereby allowing the public to believe Mitt Romney (remember him?) had some momentum thus saving Mitt Romney (remember him?)'s then stuttering campaign and denying Rick Santorium the vital momentum and plaudits which were his due.
His due because the electors in Iowa, it transpired, had actually endorsed Rick Santorium.
The back room boys saved Romney that night. They saved him right up until the moment Barack Obama polished his chronometer in the national election.
Wouldn't it be nice if the guy who actually lost to the Democrat was really the fellow we picked to stand for us?
I say it again.
Eric Bolling was honorable, insightful and courageous in his comments about Donald Trump. He represented integrity in the face of Dana Perino's shrill innuendos.
He spoke the truth.
And it's probably going to cost him his career.

Sunday, July 26, 2015


The confederate flag has been restored to the roof of the Dukes Of Hazzard car on display at Newbridge Silverware.