The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, September 04, 2015


Spotlight on empty stage.
Enter James Healy from the right and Pope Francis from the left.
They meet in the centre and embrace.
An unseen audience cheers and applauds.
Pope Francis sits at a piano and begins to tinkle the ivories.
(Tickle the ivories surely? - Ed note)
(Tinkle - Heelers note)
(And I thought you said the stage was empty. Now there's a ruddy great piano on it? - Ed note)
(Shu'up - Heelers note)
They begin to sing while the Pope tinkles.

James: "Isn't it rich?"
The Pope: "Ain't we a pair?"
James: "Me trying to label you a satanic leftist infiltrator of the Catholic Church
The Pope:  "You're right on there"
James: "But where are the Muslims?
The Pope: "You always mention Muslims."
James: "You gotta have Muslims..."

Lights come up on a hundred million Afghan, Syrian, Iraqi, Pakistani, Muslim Jihadis and their oppressed wives and drowned children who are massing on our borders, having been shipped there by the IRA, Al Qaeda, Cosa Nostra, the Chinese Triads, and associated drug dealing people trafficking mafias in  order to demand citizenship of our countries..

Muslims: "Don't worry we're here."

Thursday, September 03, 2015

a blog article not for perusal by dog wardens, police officers or ronan murphy

Evening in the dulcet South Kildare haven of Kilcullen.
I am walking by the river with the dogs.
Ahead through the haze of dusk a figure materialises.
A clammy hand grips my heart.
Ronan Murphy.
The town wit.
He always makes some telling remark when he meets me.
A remark that is not insulting exactly but vaguely indefinably irksome.
Not a put down if you know what I mean.
But really annoying.
And I can never think of a riposte.
Now he draws level with me and looks askance at the Jack Russell.
"Have you got a licence for that?" he enquires with no hint of kindness.
He walks off as I flounder.
Inspiration dawns.
"I have a licence from God," I call after him.
"I wasn't talking to you," shouts back Ronan Murphy.
Damn him.

the attacks on irish prime minister enda kenny

Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny (no friend of mine) is under attack from his political rivals and from pseudo commentators in various bankrupt national media groups, over his dismissal from office (which he denies) of a corrupt police chief and an even more corrupt government justice minister.
His critics have contrived a legalistic frippery falsely claiming that it is illegal in Ireland for the Prime Minister to dismiss the Chief of Police.
I urge everyone to reject this legalistic frippery and the invidious attempts to apply it to the only righteous and courageous action Prime Minister Enda Kenny has ever undertaken in his years in goverment (an action he denies, I admit).
Here is the news.
The Prime Minister can of course dismiss the Chief of Police, particularly a congenitally corrupt Police Chief such as the individual in question whose persistent and blatent corruptions were a source of near constant scandal.
For bankrupt media groups or opportunistic parliamentarians in tandem with Ireland's IRA subverted Judiciary, to use legalistic fripperies to criminalise the Prime Minister elected by the people, is unacceptable under any circumstances.
If the Prime Minister, who is elected by the people, is deemed a criminal for dismissing a corrupt Police Chief like Martin Callanan, or a corrupt Justice Minister like Alan Shatter, then the country is ruled by the police.
Ireland would then be a police State.
We're not.
Not quite.
From the shadows of our culture, non elected, non accountable would be puppet masters are seeking to elevate their influence above that of the parliament appointed by the people.
Parliament must not become just another committee ranked alongside more readily subverted non democratic non accountable institutions lurking in the shdows of our culture with obvious ambitions to executive power such as the Judiciary, the Trade Unions, the Civil Service and the various bankrupt national media groups which proliferate in this country at public expense yet have so consummately failed to represent us or defend our interests in this or any other matter.
The primacy of parliament as the elected voice of the people must be maintained.
The corrupt IRA infiltrated Judiciary's latest attempts to intrude upon the workings of our parliamentary democracy by infringing the powers of our elected Prime Minister, are the firstlings of a coup d'etat.
It's time to put a stop to this.
What can we do?
Here's a thought...
Why don't we elect our Judges?

studying the law with uncle jayums

Irish parliamentarian Ivor Callely has served several months in jail after a Judge styling herself Mary Ellen Ring wrongfully, wrong mindedly, and invidiously sentenced him to prison over discrepencies in his mobile phone expenses.
There is no law in the Statute books of the Republic of Ireland which entitled or entitles Mary Ellen Ring to put anyone in jail over discrepencies in their mobile phone expenses.
As a citizen of Ireland, I consider Mary Ellen Ring's invention of a new jailable offence in order to intimidate a parliamentarian elected by the people of Ireland, to be itself a criminal act and an outrageous usurpation of the power of parliament.
I ask you to contrast Judge Mary Ellen Ring's determination to incarcerate a representative of the people for a supposed over claim of 4000 Euro on his mobile phone expenses, with the determination of Judge Michael Moriarty to ensure IRA mafia capo Sean Fitzpatrick would face no trial at all over his theft of at least sixty billion Euro from his own bank, Anglo Irish Bank.
Judge Michael Moriarty has postponed IRA mafia capo Sean Fitzpatrick's trial for nine months on the grounds that since eveyone knows he did it, and did far worse than he's actually being charged with, Sean Fitzpatrick canot have a fair trial until people forget what he has actually done.
Clever there by the mafia judges.
Assuming we're all brain dead, and that the IRA has entirely subverted the Judiciary of the Republic of Ireland, there can be no comebacks.
It's the perfect blagg.
IRA super thieves can't face justice because they're guilty as sin.
But a respected parliamentarian can be jailed for something that up until five minutes ago when Mary Ellen Ring invented a criminalisation for it, had never been a crime at all.
Let me be clear.
Sean Fitzpatrick as head of Anglo Irish Bank, stole at least sixty thousand billion Euro from the Irish people by giving illegal billion dollar loans to himself, and to another IRA agent styled David Drumm, and to various IRA proxies on the bank's own board, and finally to IRA proxies posing as businessmen among the general populace, most notably one Sean Quinn. (Two Sean Quinns would have been excessive. Even for the Rah.)
The money stolen by IRA mafia capo Sean Fitzpatrick on behalf of the IRA was laundered into Russia through the Russian mafia.
The theft was then covered up using a corrupt now conveniently deceased Irish government minister called Brian Lenihan who was prevailed upon to loot the treasury in order to pay the IRA's sixty billion Euro debts to the IRA's own bank thereby putting Ireland in the Third World overnight so that IRA murderers could continue to live in the style to which they have become accustomed.
What chance one of our mafioso Judges, Ring or Moriarty, would jail a member of the Lenihan political dynasty for treason?
None at all.
There is no jail in Ireland for Fitzpatrick, Drumm, the Quinns or their ilk,
Their crime having been the mere pecadillo of impoverishing the nation for the next five hundred years.
In Ireland there's only jail for someone supposedly overclaimng 4000 Euro on their parliamentary expenses.
Kinda angries up the blood, dunnit?
These people are starting to annoy me.

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

book review

Title: "Go Set A Watchman" by Harper Lee.

She didn't write it and I'm not reading it.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

poem and parody

In Time Of The Breaking Of Nations
by Thomas Hardy

Only a man harrowing clods
With a slow silent walk
And an old horse that stumbles and nods
Half asleep as they stalk.

Only thin smoke without flame
From the heaps of couch grass
Yet this will go onward the same
Though dynasties pass.

Yonder a maid and her wight
Come wandering by
War's annals will cloud into night
Ere their story die.


in time of the breaking of societies
by James Healy

only a plush bottomed drug dealer
in a big house in the hills
with a garden thronged by the ghosts
of the children he kills

only a thug cop with a gun
thugging his way through life
enjoying a vast secondary income from gangland
while occasionally beating the living sh-t out of his wife

yonder a maid and her skank
come wandering by
the IRA will repay the thirty billion dollars it stole from Anglo Irish Bank
ere their story die

Monday, August 31, 2015

thoughts on mental challenges

1. We can heal.

2. We have a limitless capacity to heal.

3. We are made to be well.

4. The mind is never the enemy.

5. All healing begins with acceptance of self.

6. All healing begins with an appeal to the freedom of the one suffering to choose to be well. (Thanks to RD Laing for that notion)

7. We can choose to be well.

8. Just as the body has self healing capacities so too does the mind. Just as a cut on your finger will heal using processes that are inherent to your body, the mind also has a capacity to heal using processes inherent to itself, and is constantly seeking ways of doing so. The natural momentum of the mind is towards healing. Like the body, the mind will be aided in healing itself by your doing things that help and do not hinder the process.

9. The ointment of healing for the mind is love and prayer.

10.Sometimes we are in love with our sickness.

11. The mind can be directed. (But not mechanistically. Only with dignity, wisdom, discernment and love and prayer. Not be barking unsympathetic reproofs at yourself or someone else. Not by saying: "You're imagining this; It's your own fault; Pull yourself together." Seek healing instead by saying: "You can overcome this because God has not given authority to anything that oppresses you." Say like Bishop Bloomer the great black television preacher: "This is not the place of my defeat. This is the place of God's glorious victory given unto me." Say with all who suffer: "I will rejoice in my affliction because I know even in my affliction God will be glorified.")

12. The mind has chambers... We need not fear to enter any chamber... We can build new chambers (new memories, new hopes, new adventures, new responses, new walks by the riverside)... We can CHOOSE to visit more empowering chambers (rooms with a better view!)

13.The mind has dignity.

14. Some healing takes place in sleep, and by eating well, and through exercise. The mind finds equilibriums/harmonies in these,

15. Love.

16. Reject satan and the evil spirits.

17.. Read the gospel of Saint Matthew in the Bible. Remember the son of the Hebrew God once said: "If you make my word your home, you will come to know the truth, and the truth will set you free.".

18. Jesus is real.

19. Jesus intends you to be well.

20. Jesus has authority over everything.

21. Be not afraid. In the world you may have trouble but Jesus has conquered the world. Jesus is perfect love. And perfect love casts out fear.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

saints alive

Mickey Robinson: "After I saw hell, I couldn't bare to even hear someone say in conversation go to hell. If you knew what it was to lose God for eternity, you wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not even your worst enemy. Not Osama Bin Laden, or Saddam Hussein or whoever."

sherlock holmes at the reichenbach balls

"Moriarty!" exclaimed Sherlock Holmes.
Judge Michael Moriarty of the Irish High Court turned slowly.
"How did you know Holmes?" he breathed.
Holmes smiled.
"It was simple really," he intoned cheerily. "Your ruling in the High Court that Sean Fitzpatrick could not be tried for his crime of impoverishing a nation on behalf of the IRA, was clearly evidence of your own complicity in the IRA's subversion of the judiciary of the Republic of Ireland. For if Sean Fitzpatrick cannot be tried because he is so blatently guilty, no IRA member, no member of any criminal combine, and indeed no practitioner of any crime at all, could be tried in the courts system of the Republic of Ireland. Therefore the process whereby the IRA is currently turning every town and village and city in Ireland into a gangland fiefdom partitioned with Chinese Triads, Cosa Nostra, Russian mafias, Nigerian devil worship rings, and of course those lovable peace loving Muslim gangs which are Al Qaeda, that process I say, could never even be commented on, let alone resisted or repelled. If your ruling in favour of Sean Fitzpatrick is allowed to stand as law Moriarty, then there is no law."
"Gee yeah," said Judge Michael Moriarty.
"Take him away Lestrade," continued Holmes brusquely, "and give him a good root in the bawls while you're doing it."
"Orl roight you, come along now," said Lestrade snapping on the cuffs and hustling Judge Michael Moriarty away.

no truth in the rumour

There is no truth in the rumour that IRA white collar gangster banker Sean Fitzpatrick who burglarised his own IRA bank, styled Anglo Irish Bank, on behalf of the IRA by giving billion dollar loans to himself, billion dollar loans to his fellow IRA bank board colleague David Drumm (now hiding in Boston having fled Ireland using IRA ratlines into the United States) and yet more billion dollar loans to IRA proxie Sean Quinn posing as a businessman, and then got a corrupt government minister called Brian Lenihan (now conveniently dead) to sign up the Irish people to pay the IRA's thirty thousand billion dollar debts to its own bank, while the IRA laundered this very money which they had stolen through ye aforementioned fake bank loans, into Russia, is to be played by Mel Brooks in a film version of his life entitled History Of The Turds Part One, with the sensation scene in the film featuring Sean Fitzpatrick dressed as King Louis the 14th of France having just had his trial for bankrupting Ireland on behalf of the IRA, postponed yet again this time by IRA mafioso Judge Michael Moriarty in the High Court on the pretext that since IRA capo Sean Fitzpatrick is so blatently guilty it will be impossible for him to get a fair trial until the Irish people have forgotten what he did, I kid you not, turning to the camera and addressing you the audience directly with the words: "It's good to be in the Rah."