The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, December 17, 2005

The All Nighter And The Dentist

Up all night Thursday writing arteekles. Got the review of the year done and a humour column. Rather pleased with myself. Friday morning I had a dental appointment. No time for sleep.
The dentist is a thoroughly professional businesslike individual called Elaine Brogan. She is not known for her sensitivity to pain. At least not to my pain.
She did the business on Friday with expeditious efficiency.
The only quibble I had with the whole process, was when she dropped a clip down my throat.
I stopped the clip with my tongue.
Otherwise we would have been in Gag City, Illinois. (Trust me. You don't want to go there.)
At the end of the session Elaine told me I'd need another filling. I asked was this absolutely necessary or could I get away with leaving it undone.
She took this as an affront to her professionalism.
"I wouldn't mention it unless it was absolutely necessary," she said with a hint of iron in her businesslike voice.
I did a double take. Remember, I'd had no sleep and mightn't have been at my good humoured best.
"Are you taking my question as an insult?" I enquired pleasantly. And if you could have seen me bold readers, you might have thought I was a bit miffed.
Elaine repeated word for word what she'd just said.
"I wouldn't mention it unless it was absolutely necessary."
Ah yes.
Ye olde Mexican stand off.
With a dentist.
I have a feeling a beautiful relationship is coming to an end.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A Bit Irish (by Medbh Gillard and James Healy)

"Nevermind Mr Healy.They say balds have more fun."

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Strolling in the fields with Paddy Pup. The ground hard as ice. Frost everywhere, silver in the moonlight. The sky like an impressionist painting. Only a few stars through the scattering of blue argent cloud. Perfect kiss of the wind. A great stillness in my spirit. I reverance the creation.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A Bit Irish (by Medbh Gillard and James Healy)

         "Hey kid, that's the worst haircut I've ever seen."