The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, September 17, 2011

life and nothing but

I will be voting for the bloodsoaked former murdering terrorist Martin McGuinness in the forthcoming Irish Presidential elections.
In the absence of any frankly Christian candidate such as Dana Rosemary Scallon, Mr McGuinness is the only one amongst the field of charlatans and conformist hoormasters who has any principles at all.
Bear in mind that in Irish presidential elections, ordinary citizens are not allowed to present themselves to the electorate.
Only candidates approved by the established political parties may stand.
How about that.
The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.
By the way, the Presidency in Ireland is a largely symbolic position, real power resting with our Prime Minister. (Currently the Nazi Enda Kenny.)
In any case I won't be voting for the atheistic abortionist anti Catholic bigot Michael D Higgins who has always been distinguished by his refusal to condemn his friend Danilo Ortega De Saavedra, dictator of Nicaragua, for Ortega's rape of Ortega's adopted daughter throughout her teenage and early adult years.
And I won't be voting for David Norris whose louche and unseemly lifestyle has been no hindrance to the media in championing him as a Presidential candidate right up to and beyond the moment when it was revealed he had attempted to help his male lover beat the rap in an Israeli court for raping a teenage boy.
Norris has in past claimed he wished during his childhood to be seduced by an older paedophile.
A class act down the line.
Nor I willl be voting for any of the bleeding heart also ran professional hand wringers from the charity industry whom our enlightened Nazi leaders in their munificence have permitted us to choose from.
Only McGuinness is a genuine outsider.
And you know what.
If he's repented of his crimes, there's at least a gambler's chance he's genuinely a good man.

Friday, September 16, 2011

dances with nazis

The mighty Heelers is standing on Newbridge Main Street on a sweet Autumn day savouring the coldness and the poetry of a provincial town.
Millionaire cinema owner Michael Roycroft strolls by.
"What are you at James?" he enquires.
"I'm getting ready to draw large swastikas and the slogan Fine Gael Nazis Out on Fine Gael's regional office over there," I tell him truthfully. "They're been sneering at my church again and I want them to know where I stand."
Mr R tut tuts pityingly.
"No, no James," quoth he. "You've got it all wrong. You don't do that sort of thing during the day. You do that sort of thing at night."
He continues on his way.
I return thoughtfully to my car which is of course parked outside the Fine Gael regional office.
The reason my car is parked at this particular location is because parking there is free.
If you park on Main Street, you're paying for the privilege.
By the way, Fine Gael is the political party whose leader Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny recently claimed maliciously, mendaciously and malignly in parliament that the Vatican had obstructed an Irish investigation into child abuse.
When challenged to say precisely how or when the Vatican had obstructed any Irish investigation into child abuse, Prime Minister Enda Kenny replied that he wasn't speaking about any specific instance but that he was merely reflecting ongoing public concern about the behaviour of the Church.
In other words he perpetrated a specificly outrageous nay egregious falsehood based on no specific evidence merely to satisfy the mob.
Snatched it out of his head.
As I get into my car someone exits the office.
It is a breezy young Fine Gael public relations assistant with a mane of dark hair.
"James," she calls, "I'll direct you out into the street. The traffic is busy today."
I don't know her but she knows me.
Flattering in a way.
Presumably all the young frauleins in Fine Gael regularly drool over posters from my popstar days in between swearing fealty to the thousand year Reich.
I wind down the window.
"Tell your leader to stop bad mouthing the Church," I thunder.
"Oh okay," she replies, hastily backing away as though I'm contagious.
"And inform Martin whatsisname the local parliamentarian that as he is my public representative and I am his constituent, I want him to tell Enda Kenny on my behalf to shut the f--- up," I thunder again.
"I'll pass it on," she murmurs drily.
I doubted she would but there I left her.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

pardon me but your yashmak is in my soup

The fresh coldness of Autumn on Stephen's Green.
I am feeding the swan.
The swan takes the pieces of bread gently from my hand.
I glance up.
The most beautiful Arab girl in Dublin is looking at me delightedly.
Her again.
It must be the season.
At my shoulder an angel sings discreetly into my ear:
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Tra la la la la la la la la
Tis the season for the Mussies
Tra la la la la la la la la
Don we now our hiijabs and berries
Tra la la la la la la la la la
Smile at the infidels and make them merry
Tra la la la la la la la la la."
Man, can that angel sing.
Back to reality.
The Arab girl's jilbab scarf struggles to conceal her beauty.
The scarf is losing.
I realise with a start that I am clutching a book beneath my elbow with a particularly lurid cover, large red letters in the title announcing Islam And Terror.
There follows what theatre directors call "business" with the book as I try to conceal it or make it invisible in various furtively ridiculous movements, then try to stuff it into my coat pocket, and finally try to hold it nonchalantly with the title under my hand.
The Arab girl allows herself a whimsical smile.
In the splendour of her eyes I see no signs of another parting.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

top ten most courageous heroes of the republic of ireland

1. Father Thady Doyle. Editor of The Curate's Diary magazine. Wrote this month about sex abuse issues. He is the first writer I've seen to point out in a national publication that the proliferation of sexual stimuli in media and advertising has had a disruptive effect on the general populace and may well be a significant factor in the causality of sex abuse. He also had the courage to suggest that "many decent men were ruined by it." Most commentators in Ireland are running scared of the liberal atheistic elites in the Judiciary, Media and Parliament. No one will take the chance of being accused of justifying sex abuse. Even the bleedin heart fake Catholic journalists Breda O'Brien, Mary Kenny and David Quinn each of whose speciality is pretending to be Catholic in order to allow the Irish Times and Independent Newspapers to preserve a smidgen of plausible deniabilty for those publications' arrant bigotries, even these fake Catholics I say, have opted to throw a few Bishops under the bus rather than to reject absolutely the pogrom raging out of control around us. Father Thady Doyle is no fake. Nor is he a coward as these others are. In this age of Lucifer, when the persecutors no longer murder the body preferring instead to murder the reputations, Father Thady is indeed a hero.

2. Father Tom Daly. A priest in a rural parish. He printed a parish bulletin recently with the headline "Sieg Heil Enda Kenny." Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny had delivered a deeply mendacious speech to Parliament falsely, maliciously and malignly accusing the Vatican of obstructing child abuse investigations in Ireland. When challenged as to when exactly the Vatican had committed this purely imaginary crime, Prime Minister Enda Kenny said: "I am not talking about any specific instance. I am representing public outrage towards the Church." In other words, Kenny was lying. Father Tom Daly's parish bulleting attracted national attention by suggesting that Prime Minister Enda Kenny was behaving in a manner unknown outside Nazi countries. This charge was particularly galling for Prime Minister Enda Kenny and his political party Fine Gael, because Fine Gael was in actuality formerly a fascist party with a military wing called the Blueshirts.

3. Er, that's it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

the irish police force's summer of love

It's been a Summer Of Love for the Irish police force.
Irish cops, styling themselves with no apparent irony An Garda Siochana or Guardians Of The Peace, have spent the past few months threatening to rape women, colluding with drug dealers, and beating the living shit out of citizens in their homes and in the streets.
And they've been loving every minute of it.
Let's look briefly at a few of their more extraordinary betrayals of Ireland, the Irish people and the rule of law.
Fasten your seatbelts.

1. Several police officers taped themselves on a video camera threatening to rape women environmental protesters from whom they had earlier seized the video camera. When the camera was returned to the women, they heard the threats and reported what had happened. An official enquiry whitewashed the rape threats. The police officers were adjudged to have recorded themselves by accident. Their comments were adjudged to have been inadvertent. The rapist police officers are still on the Force. But that's not the worst thing. I want you to think seriously about how such a tape recording came to be made. My own analysis is that it is beyond the boundaries of probability or indeed credible possibility, to suggest that adult police officers could inadvertently record themselves on a video camera which they had seized from some young women, record themselves I say, threatening to rape the same young women owners of the video camera, to whom the same police officers were about to return the same video camera containing their newly recorded footage of themselves threatening to rape those very women. My analysis is that the police officers deliberately recorded themselves threatening to rape the women in order to terrorise and humiliate the women. Well folks. Who do you think is right? Me? Or the Official Police Whitewash Investigator? In Ireland the Official Police Whitewash Investigator is termed The Ombudsman. Before you make up your mind between me and the Ombudsman, have a listen to the actual comments made by the police officers and recorded by them prior to handing the video camera back to the women they were threatening to rape. Reports of the police officers words referred to the officers as Garda A and Garda B. I have figured out what the A and the B stand for and I have ascribed these names to them.
Garda Asswipe: "Who is them two lassies? Do you know the two of them?"
Garda Bastard: "I don't know the second one. The first one is XXXXXX with blonde hair."
Garda Asswipe: "It would do no harm to get the second one's name again."
Garda Bastard: "She's some Yank. I don't know who the f--k she is."
Unifdentified Garda (Garda Dickless): "Is she a Yank?"
Garda Bastard: "It sounds like it. It sounds like it. The accent anyway."
Unidentified Garda (Garda Dickless): "Sounds like a Yank or a Canadian."
Garda Bastard: "Well whoever, we'll get Immigration f--king on her."
Garda Asswipe: "She refused to give her name and address and told (sic) she would be arrested."
Garda Bastard: "And deported."
Garda Asswipe: "And raped."
Garda Bastard: "I wouldn't go that far yet. She was living down at that Crusty camp (sic). F--k sake. You never know what you might get.
(There is general laughter on the tape.)
Garda Asswipe: "Give me your name and address or Ill rape you."
(There is further general laughter on the tape.)
Garda Dickless: "Hold it there. Give me your name and address there. I'll rape you."
(More general laughter.)
Garda Asswipe: "Or I'll definitely rape you."
Garda Dickless: "Will you be me friend on Facebook?"
All these police officers are still dealing with the public on a daily basis. None have been fired.

2. A young woman police officer claimed this Summer that she had been raped by a fellow Garda officer at a house belonging to a Guard to which a group of Guards had returned after a night's drinking.

3. The wife of a Garda police officer has complained that her husband was threatened by another Garda police officer with a "bullet in the head." The Garda whom fellow officers had been threatening to murder was targeted for speaking out against corruption. Specifically the Garda who was threatened with murder, had complained about his colleagues failing to investigate serious crimes including a sexual assault, physical assault, and a false imprisonment case.

4. A Garda employee found in possession of videos of children being raped received no jail sentence from Judge Liberal. Judge Liberal released him without punishment after the Garda employee made a donation to the Rape Crisis Centre. Clearly Judge Liberal doesn't think paying to see children being raped is as serious a crime as, say, refusing to allow the Electricity Supply Board to erect pylons on your land. Just this week a Judge Liberal has jailed 65 year old Teresa Treacy for her refusal to let the Electricity company despoil her property. What are we going to do about this folks? Seriously. What are we going to do?

5. Garda Dean Foley received a paltry six month sentence for beating a random passerby into a pulp in the streets. His victim suffered facial fractures, a broken nose, and a bleed on the brain. Garda Foley claimed in court that the man he beat to a pulp had drunkenly called a tee shirt worn by one of Garda Foley's friend's "gay." He called the tee shirt "gay" so Garda Foley beat him half to death. You couldn't make it up. Garda Foley also claimed that he had "never intended to hurt" the man whom he'd beaten to a pulp. I kid you not. And Liberal Judge Sean O'Donnabhain thought that six months was enough of a punishment for all of this.

6. A Garda Seargent claimed that Assistant Garda Commissioner Derek Byrne had falsely imprisoned and physically restrained him in a Monaghan hotel. The Director of Public Prosecutions ruled that Assistant Garda Commissioner Derek Byrne had no case to answer. So no worries there then. The courts can get on with the important business of imprisoning 65 year old ladies for the outrageous crime of not wanting the Electricity Supply Company digging up their land.

7. Four police officers in Dublin broke into the home of a man and beat the living shit out of him. The man was a hoodlum but that does not excuse the actions of the four thug Guards. The four thug Guards gained entry to the house by pretending to have a search warrant. One of the Guards imprisoned the man's mother in the bathroom of the house so that she would not see her son being pounded to a pulp. Disquietingly these four thug Guards had brought a student Garda along with them. This is the first evidence presented in open Court that corrupt cops bring young cops with them when betraying the laws of our land and violating and assaulting the citizenry, in order to blood the young officers, ie in order to corrupt them. The student Garda testified to the Court that she had been warned: "You saw nothing." An Irish Liberal Judge and an Irish Jury found these four thugs innocent of the crimes they had committed. This decision is all the more incredible when balanced against the comments of one of the thug Guards who told investigators: "I'm sorry. It got out of hand." You gotta wonder how the Jury could find him innocent after that. I mean, what got out of hand? I've asserted for some years that Liberal Judges are tainted. It is also now clear that Juries can be tainted too. There is no other explanation for the findings in this case. I don't suggest lightly that Juries are now being routinely corrupted. I ask you to consider the recent libel trials conducted by Judge Eamon DeValera, a direct descendent of the founder of Ireland's foremostly corrupt kleptocratic political party Fianna Fail. Some of the trials overseen by Judge Eamon DeValera resulted in multi million dollar pay outs to the most odious scoundrels, namely the trial in which Monica Leech was awarded millions against Independent Newspapers which had committed the crime of stating the bleedin obvious in reporting the circumstances in which Monica Leech received government contracts from a corrupt Fianna Fail Minister, and another trial where a man to be known forever as The Naked Ape recived a ten million dollar pay out after claiming to feel hurt by a damage limitation press release issued by his employer when The Naked Ape tried three times in one night to gain access to the hotel bedroom of a female employee of the company, (one of his underlings) by standing naked at her door hammering away repeatedly and demanding entrance. That scruff got ten million. The payouts to Monica Leech and The Naked Ape are the clearest evidence we've had up to now that not only are the Judges tainted but that a way has been found to tamper with the Juries as well. The exorbitant payments to these criminal charlatans were decided by the Juries themselves in each case. Bear in mind folks that Monica Leech and The Naked Ape got millions. Contrast their fortunes with the treatment of Teresa Treacy, a 65 year old woman currently languishing in jail for the crime of not wanting the ESB to dig up her land.

8. Four police officers in Waterford faced charges arising from their beating to a pulp of a citizen who had dared to do a pee in the streets. One of the four corrupt thug police officers saw what was happening while present in a camera control room monitoring the city streets. This hero directed that the cameras be turned away from the assault. The assault included that favoured Irish police tactic of standing on the victim's neck. Classy, classy people. The courts have handed down pattycake sentences in this matter, even exonerating one of the hoodlum cops involved.

9. Police are habitually assaulting demonstrators at the Shell To Sea protests in Mayo. The fact that many of the demonstrators are environmentalists, left wingers or supporters of the former IRA terrorist army's political wing Sinn Fein, is irrelevant. The favoured method of assault used by An Garda Siochana at the Shell To Sea protests involves carrying demonstrators to the side of the road and then dropping them on concrete. This type of assault barely shows up on video and looks quite harmless. The Guards have found they can break bones this way, particularly when they drop elderly people, without showing any overt aggression towards their victims.

judge liberal strikes again

A 65 year old woman has been jailed this week in Ireland by a Liberal Judge styling himself Justice Daniel Herbert.
Justice Daniel Herbert jailed this honorable courageous Irish woman for the crime of not wanting the Electricity Supply Board to erect power lines on her land.
The woman, Teresa Treacy, had previously been instructed by another Liberal Judge, styled in the legal records Miss Justice Laffoy, to permit the Electricity Supply Board to erect their pylons on her land.
The newly imprisoned 65 year old woman had refused to comply, explaining that her property is in an area of great scenic beauty and she has no intention of allowing the Electricity Supply Board to despoil it.
This is what I want to do.
I want to imprison Justice Daniel Herbert and Miss Justice Laffoy in perpetuity.
I want to remove all the stratospheric pension and salary entitlements that Justice Daniel Herbert and Miss Justice Laffoy and their friends in the Liberal Atheistic Judiciary, have become accustomed to paying themselves.
I want all these Judge Liberals to understand what they have done in casually criminalising a noble honorable courageous Irish woman like Teresa Treacy.
I want them to pay.
And you know what folks.
Someday I'm going to make it happen.

Monday, September 12, 2011

this week in the jihad

Here are some of the Mussies latest hits. The top ten from recent days.

1. Al Qaeda ran a panic sowing mission yesterday on a flight from San Diego to Detroit. The mission was launched to mark the tenth anniversary of the Nine Eleven attacks. A group of Muslims boarded a flight and, having deliberately drawn attention to themselves among passengers and crew, the same group of Muslims then shut themselves in the toilets and stayed there. American police detained the Muslim Al Qaeda agents briefly when the plane landed. The cops then released the terrorists. Clearly they are probing us. Clearly our law enforcement agencies have so far learned nothing from Nine Eleven. Media reportage of this Al Qaeda operation on CNN, Sky News, et al, has been negligible.

2. Still on the tenth anniversary of Nine Eleven, yesterday a large group of Al Qaeda agents and supporters disrupted commemoration services in London held in tandem with similar events in New York. The Muslims spat at photographers, threw punches at police, and used loud speakers to intrude upon a church service where worshippers had gathered to remember the victims of the Jihadis' cowardly mass murders on Nine Eleven. When a group of British citizens assembled in the street outside the church and began to tell the Muslims in no uncertain terms where to get off, the police arrested the Britons. By the way, a grand total of nought Muslims behaved like this at the American Nine Eleven commemorations in New York. In America the Mussies might have found the average New Yorkers response a little too hot to handle. Reportage of the Muslim muscle flexing in London has of course been negligible.

3. A few days ago, Muslims bombed the High Court in New Delhi in India. They killed more than a dozen people. Hard to be sure how many have died as reportage of this branch of the Jihad is as negligible as the reportage of any other branch.

4. The latest Jihad attack in Western China resulted in the Muslims slaughtering thirty people. Muslims are attempted to secede Western China from China. Again hard to be sure how many are dead since again the Western media doesn't want to know.

5. Today there has been an explosion at a nuclear waste facility in France. An accident the French say. Negligible reportage as per usual. No Jihad here. Move along folks. Vitement.

6. A flight from France to Ireland was endangered last week when four cabin crew plus a passenger fell seriously ill. There has been no explanation as to why four cabin crew and a passenger would simultaneously nearly die. Certainly no one has yet suggested that the Jihadis working in maintenance at all the major airlines have graduated from sabotaging planes to poisoning cabin food. Most media agencies haven't either bothered to mention the incident. File it under Negligible Reportage.

7. A plane carrying a Russian ice hockey team went down last week. There were two survivors. Russian President Dmitri Medvyedev said afterwards: "If Russian companies don't make better planes, we will have to buy planes from Western companies." So no Jihad here then, eh Dmitri? And no need to even mention the possibility of Jihad in your negligible reportage, eh CNN, eh Sky, eh Al?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

the rubbaiyat of heeler the peeler

Abu Ben Heelers
May his tribe increase
Awoke one night
From a dream of great peace.
To cut a long story short, there was a recording angel sitting beside his bed jotting busily in a notepad.
The angel looked a bit nonplussed when Heelers awoke.
"Oh right," said the angel. "You're awake. I hate when this happens. Urm. Heelers. Have you sinned?"
"Yes," said Heelers without hesitation.
"Have you sinned grievously?" said the angel.
"Yes," shot back Heelers.
"Have you sinned more than the Jihadis?" said the angel.
"Yes," said Heelers again quick as ever. "I am a worse sinner than the Jihadis."
The angel looked a bit surprised at this answer.
He scored his pen through the last few sentences he'd jotted.
"Not the answer I expected," he muttered in a tone of strange high frustration.
There was an awkward silence.
"Okay," said the angel. "Let's see. Ah. It is an act of pride when you say you are a greater sinner than the Jihadis. That's it. It is your vanity speaking. You wish to excel them even in sinning."
"Not at all," said Heelers.
"What then?" challenged the angel. "Why do you say you are a greater sinner than the Jihadis?"
"Because I do not know the Jihadis hearts," replied Heelers. "And from before time it is written that I may not judge them. Or anyone else. But I do know something of my own heart. And I know I am guilty of grievous sin before God. I am the only person on earth about whom I can say this."
"You call that a punchline," cried the angel. "Ah for crying out loud. I'm going back to heaven before this gets any more corny. And don't you dare put me in your blog."
So saying he vanished.


Coffee with Yankee Joe.
I say some mildly critical things about the peace loving religion of Islam and its adherents.
He groans as one who is suffering beyond endurance.
"For God's sake Heelers," he says. "Get over it. We had to get over Pearl Harbour. And thankfully we did because the Japanese make great electronics and great cars."
"You think I'm like someone who has never forgiven the Japanese for Pearl Harbour?"
"And you think I should get over it?"
"Yes, you definitely should. You're getting like a scratched record."
"And you think I'm racist?"
"Well you know. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck..."
I take one of my dramatic pauses.
"Alright," I tell him. "I do think the world is currently threatened by the dysfunctions arising among Muslims, their society, their religion and their culture. And I do think the Muslim terror armies which threaten us all are serious about their business to the extent that they make the Imperial Japanese, German Nazis and Soviet Communists look like rank amateurs. I've gotta tell you, it gets a bit frustrating when any of us who attempt to point out the truth about these things are immediately accused of being racist."
"I'm just saying," quoth he, "that there were a lot of people who never forgave the Japanese. But we eventually had to get over it. That's what you need to do. Get on with your life."
"There's an important difference between the situation with the Japanese and the situation with the Muslims," I answer softly. "The Japanese lost that war and were in no doubt that they had lost. The Muslims haven't lost anything. They're still blazing away at everything that moves. All over the world. Last week Muslim terrorists bombed the High Court in New Delhi in India. A week before that Muslim terrorists killed more than two dozen people in Western China. They're at war with all of us. Their war isn't over. It's only just begun."


i will grow old upon this frame
if the years are given me
this face will look back