The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, July 21, 2012

the moral bankruptcy of ruairi quinn

An Irish government Minister Ruairi Quinn has claimed before journalists at a press conference this week that he was not attempting to bankrupt priests and nuns in their old age.
Ruairi Quinn was responding to claims on this website about his visits to ageing priests and nuns and his demands to them during these visits that they pay more money in compensation to any person claiming to have been sexually abused at any time by a member of their religious order.
No other Irish journalist has troubled to critique the Marxian atheist Ruairi Quinn's attempts to extort money from ageing priests and nuns.
So he read it here.
It's surprising how word gets around.
And hence his denial this week.
Now let's look at another compensation fund a little bit closer to Ruairi Quinn's Marxian atheistic heart.
A few months ago, the Irish government of which Ruairi Quinn is a part, bailed out the corrupt bankrupt gangster bank styling itself AIB.
Ruairi Quinn's brother Lochlainn is a board member at AIB.
So it's Ruairi Quinn's brother's bank.
And the Irish anti Catholic Fine Gael Labour Party government have just forced me and you to bail it out.
They've mortgaged my future, your future, the future of the general populace, and the future of the unborn generations, to bail out Ruairi Quinn's brother's bank.
Having done this, having bailed out this worthless entity, they then purchased, purchased no less, took into full ownership, yes purchased, Ruairi Quinn's brother's worthless corrupt gangster bank on behalf of the nation, purchased it using the nation's money, for the bargain basement fee of ten thousand million Euros.
Ten thousand million Euros for something that's worth nothing.
That is to say, the government of which Ruairi Quinn is a part, spent ten thousand million Euros which they borrowed against the rest of us, to purchase Ruairi Quinn's brother's worthless corrupt gangster bank, paying precisely ten thousand million Euros for it more than it was worth.
Well Marxian atheists have destroyed countries before.
And fascist gangster bankers have destroyed countries before.
But it took Ruairi Quinn and his brother Lochlainn to create the grand alliance between Marxian atheists and fascist bankers.
How much of Ireland do you think will survive them?
I have another point I'd like to make.
Since Ruairi Quinn has been strong arming ageing priests and nuns to pay what he considers is their share of the vast sums of money being given to anyone who claims to have been abused by a priest or nun, presumably Ruairi Quinn will also have been equally concerned to ensure that the multi millionaire Lochlain Quinn and members of his Quinn family entourage, will divvie up something to go towards the squandering of public money on the purchase of Ruairi Quinn's brother's bank.
Exactly how much have Marxian atheist government Minister Ruairi Quinn and his multi millionaire banker brother Lochlainn, exactly how much have these two opprobriously wealthy and piously hypocritical characters, put towards the insane price that Ruairi Quinn's government have forced the general public to pay in order to buy Lochlainn Quinn's utterly worthless AIB?
I'll tell you.
They've given nothing.
One other thing.
While Ruari Quinn and his political acolytes have made much about their noble extortion of buckets of cash from ageing priests and nuns in order to lavish benefits on anyone who claims to have been abused by a priest or a nun, while indulging in this pogrom against Catholocism based on a contrived presumption of group guilt, while pursuing this malign and falsely motivated vendetta, I say, this same Ruairi Quinn and his cadre of atheistic Marxists and their media allies, have ignored the 99.99 percent of sex abuse victims who WERE NOT abused by Catholics.
In fact just this week, the Supreme Court of the Republic of Ireland, informed a woman who had been abused as a child, by a teacher at an independent school overseen by State inspectors and licenced to practice by the State, that the State would not be obliged to pay her any compensation at all for the abuse she suffered.
The teacher had abused her when she was eight years old.
The Supreme Court of the Republic of Ireland actually ruled that she would remain entirely uncompensated.
Apparently since her abuser wasn't a priest, the abuse didn't count.
Government Ministers in the former Fianna Fail government had insisted that compensating such victims, ie the vast majority of victims who were and are abused in State care, would bankrupt the nation. (They mean "bankrupt the nation again," since Fianna Fail and later Fine Gael and the Labour Party have already bankrupted it to rescue their brother's bankrupt banks.)
Let me try to sum this up in a single sentence.
The collective guilt that Marxian atheist Ruairi Quinn, and his Fine Gael Labour Party combo government, and the Supreme Court itself, (packed as it is with anti Catholic atheistic Marxian political appointees), the collective guilt that these political hoor masters have contrived and reserved for the Catholic Church whenever a Catholic Church employee commits abuse or is accused of absue, this guilt is apparently not going to be consistently applied to the institutions of State in which the vast preponderance of sex abuse victims were violated and in which the worst cases of sex abuse arose and continue to arise at the hands of non Catholic people.
The little vein on my forehead is throbbing.
In response to this blog, Ruairi Quinn stated this week that he wasn't trying to bankrupt ageing priests and nuns.
He added that the ageing priests and nuns possessed other assets aside from the accumulated wealth of their Religious Orders.
He was referring to the hospitals and schools that the Catholic Church has established and run in Ireland for 1500 without any compensation.
The hospitals and schools where priests and nuns worked for no wages to provide health care and education to the Irish peasantry while our governments or whatever passed for governments were busy elsewhere.
These hospitals and  schools are assets as far as the atheistic Marxist Ruairi Quinn is concerned.
And he wants to get his hands on them.
Ruairi Quinn I know you're reading this.
No one gets away with it forever Quinn.
Someday you will have to give an account of your actions to a higher court.
No not the High Court Quinn.
I know that's been packed with your supporters.
To God Quinn.
You will have to answer to God for what you are doing to his Church in Ireland.
I would counsel you to put your house in order before then.
Oh and by the way.
You're starting to annoy me.

Friday, July 20, 2012


Miss France stepped out of the car and beheld the garden of the Chateau De Healy.
The wind was whistling in the pines.
It sounded a haunted melody.
"But eeet eees beauuutiful," said Miss France.
Well she should know folks.
She owns a real chateau.
So that means everyone else in wrong.
In your face everyone else.
Sorry. I lost it there for a moment.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

from the heelers letters

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: Brian Fennell <>
Sent: Thu, 19 Jul 2012 17:52:29 +0100 (IST)
Subject: Truth and honesty

Dear James Healy
Only just last week I came across your reference to my late wife Nuala Fennell in your "Heelers Diaries " reference to Nualas death dated 13 August 2009 .
You are entitled to your opinions but you should base them on the truth .
You describe Nuala as an Atheist,in this you were wrong ,as in other
matters .
She was a devout Catholic ,a weekly communicant .
Yes she advocated the liberalisation of availability of contraception,
Yes she favoured the introduction of divorce ,
Yes she campaigned for equality for women .
Yes she was instrumental in setting up the first refuge in Ireland for
Women and children who were subject to violence in the home.
NO she never campaigned for or in any way worked for or advocated the introduction of abortion ,never ever.
I was married to Nuala for over 50 years ,she was a very sincere and honest woman who was not in any way anti Catholic ,the "Fathers " of the Irish Church have done it more damage than anybody else could have done by their arrogance and cover ups over the years .
I wish you well
Brian Fennell

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

the poetic manifesto

half heard melodies at dawn
dreams or the traces of dreaming
a woman's name said soft like breathing
memories of faces gone
footsteps in the hall on winter nights
sadness in the heart where love has been
softness on the fields after a storm
shadows bright with remembering

we will go through cowardice to bravery
into the timeless eye of mind
across the ungovernable sea
to where all poems have their end
and their beginnings naturally
come with me

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

colonel bogie

Enda Kenny
Has only got one bawl
It is
In the Dail
Michael Noonanler
Has something similar.
And poor old Ruari Quinn bawls
Has no bawls
At all

(Repeat indefinitley and fade out.)

das booties

Enda Kenny's jackboots squeaked as he frogmarched himself down the corridor at the Irish parliament towards his personal office.
Red backed swastikas snapped stiffly in the morning breeze on his penis.
The Fuhrer was humming the Sven Hassel Waltz from The Merry Widow as he walked.
His office door swung open to reveal Gestapo Chief Alan Shatter already there waiting for him.
Herr Shatter was sitting in Enda Kenny's personal leather swivel chair with his own jackboots on Enda Kenny's personal mahogany table.
He leapt to his personal feet as the Fuhrer entered.
In truth Enda Kenny is a weak, vapid, vascillatory, hairstyle of a Fuhrer, easily dominated by the likes of Herr Shatter and Baldy Von Quinn.
Still it's always an awkward moment when you're caught sitting in the bosses chair.
"Mein Fuhrer," stammered Shatter awkwardly, scrambling to the front of the desk.
"Never mind zat," ordered the Fuhrer sitting down. "You've kept ze chair warm for me. Vat is ze meaning of ziss?"
So saying he tossed his personally autographed copies of the anti Catholic Irish Independent and the anti Catholic Irish Times on the table.
(Personally autographed by who? - Ed note)
(By satan. - Heelers note)
Alan Shatter eyed the newspapers silently.
They were covered in headlines about a spate of robberies around Ireland.
Seven major heists in one day.
"How can ziss happen?" barked Enda Kenny. "I mean vot are our corrupt jerk off police actually doing vith zemselves aside from corruptly vanking on ze public dime?"
"Vell Mein Fuhrer," answered Alan Shatter. "You know vee haff deployed the police to harass and intimidate people harvesting turf in Roscommon. Zese Roscommoners tzink zat the fact that they haff harvested turf from ze bogs outside zere homes for generations, entitles zem to continue doing so in contravention of European Union regulations. Ha. Ze peasants. Vee vill show them."
"But surely vee must haff ozzer police officers who could actually occasionally fight crime?" mused the Fuhrer in a practical voice.
"Vell Mein Fuhrer," said Alan Shatter, "most of ze ozzer police are too busy terrorising motorists at the side of the road as part of our revenue collection activities. They cannot spare ze time to actually fight crime. You know how they pass their days Mein Fuhrer. Inventing frivolous purely fictional crimes to accuse the public of and imposing on the spot fines for them. Who needs to pursue drug rackateers for rape and grievous bodily harm venn you can put a family man in fear of his life as you sneeringly and falsely allege he's been doing thirty miles an hour in a twenty zone. Very profitable for us. Remember how corrupt thug Sergeant James D O'Mara of the Naas traffic division trumped up a charge to bring James Healy to court for allowing a light on his car to fuse in a downpour? Remember O'Mara perjuring himself in court by claiming there were lights missing on Healy's car when we all knew the lights had in all probability just fused right that moment. Missing indeed. It was a gas. Zat's ze sort of tzing ze cops do all day long. It's the perfect blag. Brings in tons of money and of course destroys ze ancient trust Irish people vested in their police. There's no justice. There's just us. Our police don't have time to arrest bank robbers."
"Yes zat vas a good vun vith Heelers," murmured the Fuhrer thoughtfully. "I suppose vee vill just have to let the gangsters and bank robbers continue to run riot."
"Jawohl Mein Fuhrer," barked Alan Shatter, standing smartly to attention.
"Vee really are scum," said the Fuhrer softly.
"Vee really are, Mein Fuhrer," answered Alan Shatter.
The door burst open.
Reeducation Minister Ruari Quinn entered panting and stood in the centre of the room.
The Fuhrer groaned.
"Oh Quinn," he said. "You can't even get ze jackboots right. We never wear pink ones. Zose are for pop concerts only."
Ruairi Quinn paused to catch his breath.
Then with great Shakespearian import, he exclaimed: "... Line!"

Monday, July 16, 2012

romantic interlude

"James I'm sorry. I think you know what I mean. If you'd like to meet again, I want to."
The message came in an email.
From Miss Arabia.
The message should be of interest to sociological historians in that I think it makes me the first infidel in 1500 years to get an apology from a Muslim.
So a few days later here we are.
Me and Amal in a cafe.
The meeting is wary.
Facing each other in the half light over coffees.
She knows I think she's a spy but she can't be sure if I know anything more.
"Are you to be trusted?" she murmurs.
"No," I answer tonelessly.
"How much do you know?" she wonders.
"Enough," I reply.
"Were you fishing when you said I was a spy?"
"I might have been."
She eyes me coolly.
"You don't know anything," she whispers.
I smile.
"I know that sooner or later you're going to have to go to the bank," I tell her.
"Perhaps I've already been," she replies in whisper like nothing so much as Laurence Olivier out-acting Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.
Her face is a mask.
Mine is red, rubbery and transparent.
Hopefully Red Rubbery And Transparent is harder for Muslims to read than dark, inscrutable and mysterious.
"Maybe you still need me more than I need you," I venture, struggling to keep calm.
"Maybe I've seen Marathon Man and know how it ends," she shoots back.
"Maybe I've changed the ending ," I counter.
"Maybe this isn't a parody of Marathon Man at all," she intones with a mocking smile.
We kept it up all night.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

the ghost who walks

Ireland's greatest living poet moved like a ghost through the Old Folks Retirement Home.
(By Ireland's greatest living poet Heelers means himself. - Ed note)
I was searching for Fred Scalia a former theatre director.
According to some accounts, Fred had lived a scandalous life.
He has been variously described as a reprobate, a black sheep, a malefactor and any other number of things you care to mention.
His legend is big.
But now he is dying.
And here I am.
(Heelers gets no eternal credit for trumpeting his virtues in visiting the sick. Nor does the Heelers Diaries have the endorsement of heaven and/or my Catholic Church. - God note.)
The old theatre director stirs in his bed.
His face brightens.
"Jim," he says finding the strength to clasp my hand.
I sit by the bed and lean close.
"Do you want me to pray with you Freddy?" I ask softly.
He lies back on the pillow with a groan.
"Oh God no," he proclaims a bit louder than I might like. "Jim. A man like you. With your reputation. Please no. Jim. No. Oh God no."

A BIT IRISH (by Medbh Gillard)

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, throw us down a few Johnston Press shares!"

our television listings

(The Irish national broadcaster. The station operates under a government sanctioned monopoly which means ordinary citizens are not allowed to set up television stations to compete with it. Catholic people are compelled to pay a licence fee to finance RTE, a station which despises them, their values, and their church. It's like something out of Mao's China. Honest. You couldn't make it up.)

3.25 Supernanny. Odious woman annoys children.
4.30 Murder She Wrote. Jessica hears the bald bloke on Have I Got News For You sneering at President Bush for not going after North Korea instead of Iraq. Jessica is incensed because she clearly remembers how liberals, including the bald bloke, sneered at President Bush seven years ago when he included North Korea in his axis of evil speech along with Iraq and Iran. Jessica shoots the bald git herself and surrenders to the police immediately. The quickest murder she's ever solved. No jury on the planet would convict her.
5.20 Nuacht. Do you want a hankie for that?
5.30 The Bill. Al Qaeda succeed in having one of their agents appointed as Justice Minister in Britain. He orders the cops of Hill Street to search the offices of a Conservative Shadow Spokesman at Westminster in order to try and discredit the Conservative Party generally. Afterwards the Muslim Justice Minister is himself forced to resign over inflated expenses claims. Another of the Muslim Justice Minister's agents in a senior position at Scotland Yard makes sure to be photographed in public with a list of Pakistani terrorists prominently displayed under his arm. The names of the Pakistani terrorists are clearly visible to cameras with a zoom lens. This is the favoured method for Al Qaeda infiltrators in the British police to tip off Muslim terrorists that they're under surveillance.
6.00 The Angelus. The bells, the bells.
6.01 News. RTE's propaganda against Christianity continues in the guise of the most anodyne reportage on the planet earth.
7.00 Living The Wildlife. A look at animals living in the waters around Dublin. Tonight's episode focusses on the Labour Party.
7.30 Eastenders. Nick leaves the Square. Al Qaeda blow up Paris and Berlin.
8.00 Fair City. After slashing his own van's tyres Cass feigns outrage and receives widespread sympathy. Al Qaeda bribe Irish politicians to look the other way while terrorist agents are smuggled into Ireland. A boatload of Pakistani terrorists disembarks in Cork. The terrorists melt into the countryside.
8.30 Outbreak. No one cares what this programme is.
9.00 News. Those lovable propagandists are back.
9.35 Prime Time. Left wing atheist John Bowman onanistically satisfies himself by inviting a panel of his friends to attack the Catholic church. They'll all burn in hell. It's such a privilege for me as an Irish citizen to be compelled to finance John Bowman's agendas.
10.35 Ryan Confidential. Gerry Ryan, who happened to walk into a top paying job at RTE in circumstances that had nothing to do with him being a childhood friend of the Charles Haughey political dynasty. I mean family. RTE pay Gerry Ryan something around three quarters of a million smackers every year for having no listeners or viewers. That's monopoly TV folks. You could create a lot of jobs with three quarters of a mill. Instead RTE created one. Watch this programme and vomit at the injustice of it all.
11.30 The View. John Kelly and his panel (another f---ing panel) review the Spanish thriller Fermat's Rooms. This programme will be of particular interest to John Kelly's mother and nobody else.
12.10 News. Expect no mention of the possibility that peaceloving Muslim terrorists downed the French airliner over the South Atlantic.
12.15 Medium. Allison is asked to join a corporation by another psychic. What? I mean what the fuh. I mean for crying out loud. No sentient human being could watch this. What the hell is RTE doing with the licence fee? Could they possibly be putting this on just to annoy me? I mean there must be some explanation.
1.05 Road To Ruin. Comedy film starring Peter Weller and Carey Lowell. Directed by Charlotte Brandstorm. I'm sure these are all perfectly decent people but I could contemplate no circumstances under which I would stay up until 1.05am to watch them for two hours. Hey RTE. Why don't you put on a pro Catholic Christian television show some time? Just for larfs.
2.45 Telly Bingo. It's the end of the world as we know it.
2.55 Shortland Street. The most intellectual programme on RTE.

First published: June 2009.


(our weekly chess puzzle)

Sir Percival Doubloons versus Millicent Von Steinervortzel.
Milan 1998.
Material is level. White wins with a flourish. Can you pick it out?
Solution: Sir Percival slipped Millicent a hundred grand under the table. She took the hint and duly conceded. The move was later outlawed by the International Chess Federation who considered it a form of cheating.