the crunch question

Question: Since the beginning of the year, the bankrupt readerless atheistic abortionist Irish Independent newspaper has printed a letter from its own editor, one Cormac Bourke (two Cormac Bourkes would be excessive) splashed across several pages of each daily print edition in which he appeals to the public to subscribe to an equally readerless online edition at a cost of two and a half Euros per week. The letter from Cormac Bourke to his readers is only a couple of lines but it is enlarged to fill the centre point of the two pages that have been devoted to it in every daily edition of the Irish Independent since January. I suppose we might estimate about five people must have read it by now. The nub of it seems to be a challenge to any readers he has to pay him a few shillings for what he calls real journalism. In view of this behaviour, is the new nickname for Irish Indpendent newspaper editor Cormac Bourke going to be:
(a) Spare Change Please Sorr.
(b) Penny for the old Guy.
(c) Gizza job.

Answer: Yes.

the scientist

Quaffing coffees.
The scientist says: "They really seemed to be talking it up on all the media outlets. I was thinking if it's a corona virus. it's the flu. I was looking for statistics. The only statistics you could get were from the World Health Organisation or from the Chinese government. There was no really critical breaddown. The one question I wanted answered was what was the mortality rate? It seemed to me that they could create exactly the same panic every year with every flu outbreak. So I was asking myself, why this, why now. James, what's wrong with you?"
My piercing caerulean eyes had become a bit misty.
"Nothing. I'm a bit moved that's all. You see, up till now, I thought I was the only one."

if james healy was head of the world health organisation

Press conference. All major news groups. Cameras. Lights. Action.

James Healy: "We at the World Health Organisation have called this press conference to issue an urgent warning about ourselves. This is a Code Orange on the World Health Organisation. We have been accumulating supra national power over the past few decades on the pretext of promoting health across international boundaries. It's a game. We can justify the creation of world government at the United Nations simply by advancing speculative theories about what some virus might do now or in the future. We and the International Court Of Justice have both been a party to this establishing the UN as a world government game. As have the advocates of Climate Change notions about weather patterns. Now the game is playing us. We're out of control. You should stop listening to us. The bankrupt media groups of the west should stop beginning every news broadcast with our incitement to panic press releases. The corona virus, which we have latterly named Coved 19 in an attempt to distract from the fact that it's the flu, is in fact the flu. Some people will die of it as happens every year in flu outbreaks. Overall the advice is to eat healthily, exercise, go to church, and stop listening to power mongering idiots like us. And remember. Flu vaccines kill more people than the flu ever does. Thank you for your time."

never mind the bollocks here's the corona virus

A night of strange and perturbed dreams.
The ghost of Johnny Lydon came to me.
I said: "How do I know you're the real Johnny Lydon?"
He went into a sort of self parodying caper and sang:
"God save the Mullahs,
I mean it man,
We love the Mullahs,
God sa-a-ave the Mullahs."
With a shock I realised it was really him.
There was an awkward silence.
He stood there looking aggressive almost seeming to own the place.
It was my dream but I felt I was imposing.
"What do you think of the Corona virus?" I blurted out trying to make conversation.
Johnny Lydon gave me his most scathing look.
"Heelers," he crowed, "it's the fucking flu."

from the heelers emails

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: James Healy <jameshealy50@eircom.net>
To: the lady
Sent: Sat, 15 Feb 2020 22:58:14 -0000 (GMT)
Subject: yowsa and c

Yowsa.
I tracked down one of the sources for my "many teachers get more than a hundred grand a year" remark.
It is an article from the year 2012 in the Irish Examiner, still available online.
The article is headlined "1500 teachers earn up to 115,000 per year."
Since this was written eight years ago in 2012, I think the figure is unlikely to be lower now.
The article contains the assertion that one in three primary school teachers receive more than 61,000 per year.
A lot of online information on teachers' salaries is provided by teachers' unions and is deceptive.
I think the figures on the Examiner website are substantially correct and hint at the scope of over payment in Irish schools.
The real figures will be much higher.
None of this is of course as serious as the Health Services Executive performing sex change transitioning chemical treatments on children aged five.
James

syriana

1. The Muslim Brotherhood government which under Recep Tayyip Erdogan governs Turkey, has invaded parts of Syria at least four separate times since the Syrian Civil War started in 2011.

2. Erdogan's Turkish government has sponsored various rebel factions in Syria during the nine years of Syria's civil war.

3. Erdogan's government trained, provisioned, furnished tactical territorial manoeuvring rights to, and militarily supplied the Muslim Brotherhood franchised Isis Al Qaeda terror army which went on a head hacking spree across the plains of Nineveh and declared a caliphate on Syrian and Iraqi territory in 2014.

4. Erdogan is a prime mover in the chaos that has engulfed Syria.

5. Last week the Syrians bombed a Turkish army unit on Syrian territory, killing at least 33 Turkish soldiers.

6. The Erdogan government of Turkey has used the death of its soliders on Syrian soil as an excuse to launch their latest invasion of Syria.

7. Turkey is using Nato grade military hardware. jets, missiles and tanks against a country weakened by nine years of Turkish sponsored civil war, that has no such hardware.

8. None of Turkey's invasions or interventions or sponsorships of Isis in Syria over the past nine years, have had any justification or semblance of justification via a United Nations resolution. The actions are pure piracy. Similar invasions of Iraqi Kurdistan by Turkey in the past two decades have also been without any vestige of international legitimacy.

9. While using Syria's defence of its own territory against Turkish aggression as an excuse to justify a new Turkish invasion of Syria, the Erdogan government in Turkey has inexplicably and perversely blamed Europe for Erdogan's losses in Syria, opening Turkey's border with Greece this week in a renewed attempt to flood Europe with Muslim immigrants. The distinction between the arrival of another three million Muslims in Europe calling themselves asylum seekers, and an invasion, is not clear. European countries should now, however belatedly, defend and enforce their borders including the land and sea borders with Turkey.

10. Most Europeans remain unaware that the European Union had been paying billion dollar sums of money to the Erdogan government in Turkey, to induce Erdogan not to open his borders with Europe to immigrants wishing to enter Europe. So far the Turks admit to receiving 6 billion dollars from Europe in what amounts to a shakedown. The money would have been better spent enforcing our own borders.

11. The government of Vladimir Putin in Russia regards Syria as personal property. My opinion is that Putin will not allow the Turks either to win territory in Syria or to oust the Assad government from Syria.

12. As regards the Syrian blood bath civil war, we should allow the Russians to finish the job. Otherwise it continues.

13. The Islamic government of Iran alongside the Russians have determined that the Assad government in Syria shall not fall. Like the Russians, Iran regards Syria as something of a vassal State. Iran and Turkey who have both at times sponsored Al Qaeda, are on opposite sides of the Syrian civil war. Both Iran and Turkey seem to be suffering from Caliphate envy, something along the lines of "My Caliphate is bigger than yours." The Iranians and the Turks while picking opposite sides in the Syrian civil war have used the conflict to play out their fantasies of empire on Syrian territory.

14. Another ill starred player in the Syrian civil war was American President Barack Obama who up to 2016 was sending financial and military aid to groups he deemed "pro Western rebels." The groups aided by President Obama showed their pro Westerness by handing much of their ordinance over directly to Isis and Al Qaeda. On the battlefield the groups aided by President Obama formed a cordon sanitaire around the Isis Al Qaeda Caliphate in order to protect it from Assad's Syrian government forces. The intervention by President Obama may have been well intentioned but it was poorly advised.

today they said

Hulusi Akar (Turkish Minister For Defence): "We do not wish to face off against Russia in Syria."

James Healy: "Well duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."